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When is it time to get a new dog?

1241 Views 11 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  Mama&PapaTeak
DH and I have been going to the dog show twice the past month or so.. I am not sure if I am ready for a dobbie yet. Still raw emotions with our loss and break down every time I see one.

Dh would like to get a new family member by the summer. I think I am ready.. But emotionally I am scared that the same thing will happen and I will get so attached and our new family member will be taken away so soon.

When are you really ready? I know I will never forget our dear Kohl but I don't want to get another dog and feel like I am trying to replace him either.
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That is a question that is really individual. Don't jump into getting a dog because your hubby wants one so soon. You both need to be emotionally ready for a new companion. Some people take longer than others to be prepared to face the challenge.

There will never be a replacement for the ones that we lose. We will always have imprints of them on our hearts. That is the important thing to remember when you look for a new companion. You will be setting up your next dog for failure if you look at it as a replacement. They will never live up to your expectations and you will be greatly disappointed. That is not fair to you or that dog. They are all different in their own individual ways.

You will know when you are ready to proceed with a new dog. I don't personally think the pain ever leaves of remembering the ones that we lost. You need a mourning stage before you can move on. When you can look at another dog with excitement and see living with them and taking care of them, you will know you are ready.

Every animal lives and passes. It is a gift that we have that they are here with us the time that they are, however long that is. Unfortunately some are here shorter than others. We can't live our lives waiting for the time to pass that they will leave us. We have to enjoy the time that they are here with us instead. That is what gives us the wonderful memories that we can cherish when they do pass.
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We can always sit on the teeter-toter and weigh things out or we can go on the roller-coaster and and enjoy the ups and downs.
Personally I would rather go on the roller-coaster.

Only you can answer your preference.
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I lost both my Weimaraners with in 3 months of each other...Uno on October 3, 2006 at 9 to cancer, and Mason January 2, 2007 at only 6 to Epilepsy. I have always wanted a Red Dobie...and was so devastated over my sweet Mason's sudden death, that I went and got a Dobie puppy 10 days later. For me it has been a blessing....I am totally and completely in love with Petey. I'm not going to tell you that I'm not mourning my other boys....because the truth is, I cry every single day, I wake in the night and think of them. I'm still shocked when I think of going on without them....I miss them every minute of the day. Petey has found his own special spot in my heart....and has filled it to the brim, nothing like a crazy puppy so full of life, to pull you back to the living. I am thankful to have this beautiful boy, and I hope he and I bond as close as I was to my Weim boys. I know one thing for sure...both of them wouldn't want me sad...they would get so upset if I was....so in their honor....I chose happiness and life.

The very best to you, only go with your heart....

Carol ox
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I am in agreement with the roller coaster.....believe me....the new pup will grab your heart just as strongly...no two dogs are alike so you shouldn't worry about feeling like you have replaced him....it will be a new adventure....and when our furry friends leave us seems to be the only downfall...if only they could live as long as we did...now that would be heaven.
waiting said:
We can always sit on the teeter-toter and weigh things out or we can go on the roller-coaster and and enjoy the ups and downs.
Personally I would rather go on the roller-coaster.

Only you can answer your preference.
I love this advice.. You are all so right.

I am just scared to get emotionally attached to another pet just to have them leave me again.
How soon is an individual thing - every person has their own grieving period and when they feel it will be right. I know people that have waited years before getting their next dog/dobe, others waited 24 hours (though I don't always think finding a breeder in 24 hours and having the dog the next day means you went to a very reputable breeder in 99% of cases).

Personally, I lost Bowie in the beginning of April last year, and started considering another dog literally a week or so later. I brought home my new dog about 3-4 weeks after I had lost Bowie. It didn't detract from Bowie or my grieving, but it helped me. I also admit I had spoken to an animal communicator regarding the issue.
My wife and I lost our dog to cancer in May. We thought we would want to wait, get used to it,take our time and the like. 1 week later we were like "this sucks". I made some phone calls, did my breeder research, and we had Cash by August.

I dont regret any of it. We just accept the fact that we are dog people and we need dogs in our lives.

Our answer was this, because theres always the people who want you to mourn, but don't understand:

"We owe it to our last dog to honor him and what he brought to our home. He showed us that a house with out a dog is not a home. It's because of him that we want another dog. He's the one that made us long for the companionship that a dog brings. His memory deserves that at the very least."

Were getting another dog in 2 years. My wife and I vowed to never be without a dog. The heartache is too great.
We are going through the same issue. My family is despirate for another dog, meaning myself and the children. We are dealing with so many issues as far as companionship with our surviving dog, the kids loneliness (Summer loves them but she is not close with them at all), my sons fear issues, and the list goes on. My husband agreed to rescue a 16 week old abandoned pup only 3 weeks after we lost Cleo. The pup had already been adopted and we just thought it wasn't meant to be. Since then he has not been able to find it in his heart to take the chance to love again. He is so afraid of losing another love.

I just feel that when it is right we'll know it. Maybe the right puppy will need an adopting family, maybe we'll search and come across the perfect breeder for us at just the right time. Who knows. We just feel that Cleo and Mansen will let us know when it is right and what dog is the right one for our family.
Last Feb. I lost my pit to cancer. A week after that, my vet said he knew of a pit that was at the humane society. I went and looked at her, and decided to take her home. I felt bad for her. A week later I took her back. I wasnt ready. Great dog, but "it" wasnt there for me yet. It was too soon. It wasnt untill 6 months down the road that someone asked if I knew of anyone that wanted a pit. Her life had changed and she couldnt keep him. I said I would, and if nothing else, if it didnt work out I would keep him till I found him a good home so she didnt haf to worry. I fell in love the moment I saw him!
SO every situation is different, just like every dog and person is.
JEn
I love this advice.. You are all so right.

I am just scared to get emotionally attached to another pet just to have them leave me again.
I feel your loss. How terribly broken you must feel.

The only thing that comes to mind is... "Better to have loved and Lost, Then to have Never Loved at all." I agree with the others. I think a new puppy will take your mind off you heartache a bit. I know for me...Just having a dogless house would be very depressing. Good Luck with you.
I agree that it is a personal decision and very individual - and in that light remember you and DH are both "individuals" therefore may not be ready at the same time. We lost our wonderful Natasha the summer of 2001. We are just now getting new babies (yes TWO) on Friday. So for us it took 6 years. Some move faster than others - my DH took to making calls the same night he caught me looking at old photos - and when he heard me say I was just "missing her" he knew.

MamaTeak
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