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21 Posts
Hey everyone,
I'm really just posting because I'm having a really hard time coping right now. Last week, I lost two of my dogs within days of each other. Neither were dobies, but I take in rescues here and there, any type of dog, and either rehome them or add them to the pack. The first one I lost was my dog Buffy. She was a lab/chow/whoknowswhat mix and one of the best dogs I've ever had. She was super protective but incredibly gentle at the same time. She was only 4 1/2 years old. She was outside playing at my parents' house and heard a car coming. Her only fault was that she was a car chaser. Once she took off, there was no stopping her. This time, she got hit. The person that hit her didn't even stop. I feel so horrible and guilty and am completely heartbroken. She was such an amazing dog, super smart and playful, absolutely adored snow. I always knew when it was about to snow because she would get so hyper. She used to sneak up on me and slam her body into the back of my knees if there was snow on the ground so I would fall down and we could wrestle. If I tried to go inside before she was ready to stop, she would carefully grab the end of my coat sleeve and try to drag me back into the snow. I don't know what to do without her. That happened December 27th. Then on New Year's Day, one of my pit bulls, Gunner, died suddenly. He had had a little cough and had some sudden weight loss, so I was going to be taking him to the vet in just a few days. I went to let him outside and found him dead on his bed..... Since then, I've done a ton of research and it's looking like it was DCM. He was also only about 4-5 years old. I feel incredibly guilty about that one too, for not getting him to the vet sooner or not realizing what was going on. I just never guessed it was his heart. I just thought he had a cold. Even though I still have four dogs in my house, it seems so empty now. I miss them both so much and I don't know how to move on from it. Some people say to get a puppy, that it helps fill the void, but I feel like that's a betrayal to them somehow, like I'm saying they're replaceable or something and they aren't. They were my babies. They were both rescues. Buffy came from a Wal-Mart parking lot as a little puppy and Gunner's original owner had passed away. He was in a town where pits are automatically euthanized if they go to the pound. My boyfriend had taken him in, then when we got more serious, Gunner came to my house. He was used to being an only dog, and had never been around cats, so we had to do some work with him, but he was improving dramatically and I was pretty confident that his issues would be resolved soon. Whenever anyone asked me why I didn't just get rid of him, I always said because he'd never given me a reason to give up on him. I never would've given up on him.... ever.... but I feel like I failed him anyway. I just don't know how to get past all of this. My boyfriend is also devestated, and I feel like he's putting his own greiving on hold, trying to take care of me, which also makes me feel guilty. And to make it all even harder, one of my dobies, that I bottle raised even, is having some health issues, has been for a few months, and I'm constantly in and out of the vet with her. I feel paranoid now. Everytime I look at any of my dogs, I expect something bad to happen. I freak out over everything, terrified that I will miss something again and lose another one. I need advice on how to cope and get through all of this..... I'm completely heartbroken.
I'm really just posting because I'm having a really hard time coping right now. Last week, I lost two of my dogs within days of each other. Neither were dobies, but I take in rescues here and there, any type of dog, and either rehome them or add them to the pack. The first one I lost was my dog Buffy. She was a lab/chow/whoknowswhat mix and one of the best dogs I've ever had. She was super protective but incredibly gentle at the same time. She was only 4 1/2 years old. She was outside playing at my parents' house and heard a car coming. Her only fault was that she was a car chaser. Once she took off, there was no stopping her. This time, she got hit. The person that hit her didn't even stop. I feel so horrible and guilty and am completely heartbroken. She was such an amazing dog, super smart and playful, absolutely adored snow. I always knew when it was about to snow because she would get so hyper. She used to sneak up on me and slam her body into the back of my knees if there was snow on the ground so I would fall down and we could wrestle. If I tried to go inside before she was ready to stop, she would carefully grab the end of my coat sleeve and try to drag me back into the snow. I don't know what to do without her. That happened December 27th. Then on New Year's Day, one of my pit bulls, Gunner, died suddenly. He had had a little cough and had some sudden weight loss, so I was going to be taking him to the vet in just a few days. I went to let him outside and found him dead on his bed..... Since then, I've done a ton of research and it's looking like it was DCM. He was also only about 4-5 years old. I feel incredibly guilty about that one too, for not getting him to the vet sooner or not realizing what was going on. I just never guessed it was his heart. I just thought he had a cold. Even though I still have four dogs in my house, it seems so empty now. I miss them both so much and I don't know how to move on from it. Some people say to get a puppy, that it helps fill the void, but I feel like that's a betrayal to them somehow, like I'm saying they're replaceable or something and they aren't. They were my babies. They were both rescues. Buffy came from a Wal-Mart parking lot as a little puppy and Gunner's original owner had passed away. He was in a town where pits are automatically euthanized if they go to the pound. My boyfriend had taken him in, then when we got more serious, Gunner came to my house. He was used to being an only dog, and had never been around cats, so we had to do some work with him, but he was improving dramatically and I was pretty confident that his issues would be resolved soon. Whenever anyone asked me why I didn't just get rid of him, I always said because he'd never given me a reason to give up on him. I never would've given up on him.... ever.... but I feel like I failed him anyway. I just don't know how to get past all of this. My boyfriend is also devestated, and I feel like he's putting his own greiving on hold, trying to take care of me, which also makes me feel guilty. And to make it all even harder, one of my dobies, that I bottle raised even, is having some health issues, has been for a few months, and I'm constantly in and out of the vet with her. I feel paranoid now. Everytime I look at any of my dogs, I expect something bad to happen. I freak out over everything, terrified that I will miss something again and lose another one. I need advice on how to cope and get through all of this..... I'm completely heartbroken.
