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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone,
I'm really just posting because I'm having a really hard time coping right now. Last week, I lost two of my dogs within days of each other. Neither were dobies, but I take in rescues here and there, any type of dog, and either rehome them or add them to the pack. The first one I lost was my dog Buffy. She was a lab/chow/whoknowswhat mix and one of the best dogs I've ever had. She was super protective but incredibly gentle at the same time. She was only 4 1/2 years old. She was outside playing at my parents' house and heard a car coming. Her only fault was that she was a car chaser. Once she took off, there was no stopping her. This time, she got hit. The person that hit her didn't even stop. I feel so horrible and guilty and am completely heartbroken. She was such an amazing dog, super smart and playful, absolutely adored snow. I always knew when it was about to snow because she would get so hyper. She used to sneak up on me and slam her body into the back of my knees if there was snow on the ground so I would fall down and we could wrestle. If I tried to go inside before she was ready to stop, she would carefully grab the end of my coat sleeve and try to drag me back into the snow. I don't know what to do without her. That happened December 27th. Then on New Year's Day, one of my pit bulls, Gunner, died suddenly. He had had a little cough and had some sudden weight loss, so I was going to be taking him to the vet in just a few days. I went to let him outside and found him dead on his bed..... Since then, I've done a ton of research and it's looking like it was DCM. He was also only about 4-5 years old. I feel incredibly guilty about that one too, for not getting him to the vet sooner or not realizing what was going on. I just never guessed it was his heart. I just thought he had a cold. Even though I still have four dogs in my house, it seems so empty now. I miss them both so much and I don't know how to move on from it. Some people say to get a puppy, that it helps fill the void, but I feel like that's a betrayal to them somehow, like I'm saying they're replaceable or something and they aren't. They were my babies. They were both rescues. Buffy came from a Wal-Mart parking lot as a little puppy and Gunner's original owner had passed away. He was in a town where pits are automatically euthanized if they go to the pound. My boyfriend had taken him in, then when we got more serious, Gunner came to my house. He was used to being an only dog, and had never been around cats, so we had to do some work with him, but he was improving dramatically and I was pretty confident that his issues would be resolved soon. Whenever anyone asked me why I didn't just get rid of him, I always said because he'd never given me a reason to give up on him. I never would've given up on him.... ever.... but I feel like I failed him anyway. I just don't know how to get past all of this. My boyfriend is also devestated, and I feel like he's putting his own greiving on hold, trying to take care of me, which also makes me feel guilty. And to make it all even harder, one of my dobies, that I bottle raised even, is having some health issues, has been for a few months, and I'm constantly in and out of the vet with her. I feel paranoid now. Everytime I look at any of my dogs, I expect something bad to happen. I freak out over everything, terrified that I will miss something again and lose another one. I need advice on how to cope and get through all of this..... I'm completely heartbroken.
 

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Owned by Dobes since 1975
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sorry for the loss of your dogs, may they rest in peace.

the more dogs you own, the more dogs you will lose.

i suggest you do not get another right now.

just spend as much time as you can with the ones you still have.

enjoy everyday you have with them.

and when one leaves you, remember them with love and they will be with you forever.

Hugz.
 

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Heat Seeking Missile
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Sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter what kind of pet it is, when you lose an animal that shows you nothing but love, it's devastating.

As Darkevs mentioned above, don't take on any new animals for the time being.

Shaun
 

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joie de vivre
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Sorry for your family's losses.

RIP Buffy & Gunner
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thank you everyone. I don't plan to get anymore dogs for quite awhile. I really never intended to get so many in the first place, but some rescues are harder to rehome than others, for any number of reasons. I did a rescue transport over the weekend, the day before I lost Gunner, and it helped a bit with the loss of Buffy because I knew I was helping a dog in need. I'd like to do transports more often, but I've not found much opportunity for it in my area. Dealing with rescues has always been hard because there are so many I have tried to save and not been able to. Sometimes I think it's not something I should continue, but then I come home to my house full of rescued critters and think of all the animals I've rehomed in the past, and I change my mind, but these two losses were part of my home pack. One of my dogs is really depressed about Buffy (they were the best of friends) and spends majority of her time outside laying next to Buffy's grave. When we buried her, this dog actually tried to get in the grave with her, while one of the others sat next to it and whined. They've all been howling at night, a sad, mournful howl and it breaks my heart even more. I never discourage it because I think they need to be able to grieve too, I just wish things were different. Everyone's appetite has decreased too. They eat, but not with the vigor they had before. I'm keeping a close eye on them, watching for weight loss and things like that, and so far, everyone is still okay. I just hope we can all snap out of this funk soon, but I just don't know how to get past the loneliness, even when I'm swarmed by all the critters I have still. I make a point to still maintain their routines and play with them and whatnot...just miss the ones I've lost....
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
It makes me start crying all over again when I hear them, but at the same time, it relieves some of the loneliness, and reminds me that my dogs never lacked in the love department. They were a family and loved each other as much as I love them all.
 

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So sorry for you loss...let the tears roll - it just means you really loved them! I know what your going through...lost my best boy last sept and it still hurts...
Take care of yourself and don't judge yourself too harshly...it doesn't serve any positive purpose. Learn from it and move on...
your dogs are running free now...and they'll be waiting at the gate for you...
hugs to you
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks, everyone. You have all been really helpful just by understanding. I live in an area where most people say things about how they're just dogs, or something like that, and I've never been that way. Majority of the people around me think I'm just being silly. I hate that. My animals are my babies. I've always felt that way. Then a couple of years ago, my doctors told me my chances of actually having kids were pretty slim, so that just made me love my critters even more. They're the only babies I'll ever have (not that having kids would've made me love them any less).
 

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I am so sorry for your tragic losses. I can only imagine the pain that losing 2 so close can cause. It's enough for me in the span of a year.

One thing I will suggest, as hard as it is, is to be strong in front of your babies. They pick up so much on our own emotions. It is hard for them, they are mourning their own losses too, on top of that picking up on your own devastation. Try to keep as much as possible the same around the house, giving them the security that everything really is okay, mom is still in control and we know we can count on her. Believe me, I know this is very difficult when all we want to do is mourn and go through our own depression.

Soon, the memories of happiness will overcome the pain of losing them and you'll go to bed one day and realize you smiled more than cried that day. That's how we all know we really can heal from such devastation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I have made a point to maintain everyone else's routine. I still make sure to feed them at the same times everyday and to play with them like I would have before. They probably actually get even more attention now than they did before. I also have more dogs in my bed than I used to. They turn to me as much as I turn to them, so at night, when everyone is getting ready for bed and feeling the saddest, we all cram together on the bed and try to sleep. I'm all scraped and bruised from being kicked so much lately, but I don't mind. I can't seem to sleep if I'm not surrounded by them, and they are all refusing to sleep if they can't physically touch me. Things are started to get a tiny bit easier, but I was dreaming about Buffy and Gunner last night, and it wasn't all happy dreams, so today is a bit rough. I know I just have to keep struggling on through though, especially on the hard days like today. I'd rather just curl up in my bed and pretend today isn't happening, but I have to do what's best for the babies I still have, and that's not sulking. I'm also moving up everyone's check ups and taking them all to the vet within the next few weeks just to make sure everything is okay. I don't have any reason to think otherwise, but I'm kind of paranoid now, so I'm hoping it will help ease my mind and maybe my heart. As always, thank you everyone for your sympathy.
 
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