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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I seem to be having a new problem lately. Not quite sure why though. Lately Asher seems to be having an issue with being left behind. He does fine when I leave him at my house. I leave from a glass door and they watch me leave. Then they are gone from the door in 2 sec. When I go into town, if I have to run some errands, my parents are usually more than happy to watch my dogs if I have them with me. The dogs have always been fine with the idea of it. Lately though, if Asher could bust through the door after me, he would. My dad says he does nothing but pace and whine at the door I left. He will sit next to my dad after awhile and beg for attention and run to the window everytime he hears a car. My dad laughs and tells me that he is spoiled. The routines in the house have all been the same. The only difference is his training classes. This is nothing new to him though to stay there though. When I leave for work conferences, they stay with them or family. He has always been the "ultimate" velcro dog, but when I am there, he is following me from room to room. My mom is a big Ceasar Milan watcher. She says he has a fear of being left behind(per him). But doesn't remember what he said to do. Sure. I always heard it was seperation anxiety. Sorry so long. Any suggestions? Is he just dealing with a change of the classes and getting more clingy?
 

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It does sound like separation anxiety, in that separation anxiety means just what the words say. Obviously it isn't the really neurotic kind, or you wouldn't be able to leave him anywhere, so count your blessings, I've heard of some dogs who are much worse than he sounds.

I don't know if even a slight change in routine would make him behave this differently, all dogs are different in how they react to and deal with things. Since it seems kind of mild, maybe it would help if your parents did something with him, took him out for a walk or played a game, took him to a drive thru for a burger, something that would occupy his mind for awhile.

Other than that I don't know. I've read about training methods for SA, but they were for dogs who got anxious any time their owner would leave, and took a lot of time with leaving in increments and coming back a few minutes later, ect. I don't know if you have time for that when you're just running errands.
 

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micdobe said:
Since it seems kind of mild, maybe it would help if your parents did something with him, took him out for a walk or played a game, took him to a drive thru for a burger, something that would occupy his mind for awhile.
Good advice, this worked for us. Whoever is watching him needs to occupy his mind. Get them to do something exciting to forget about you for awhile.
 

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If this is something new I would think something has occured that you are not aware or are not thinking of that is causing this behavior. Have you changed your leaving routine when you drop them off or did this possibly start after an extra long work conference?
 

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one thing they say

is not to ever make a big deal about coming home or leaving.

No, ok my love I'm leaving now so be a good boy.

No, when you come home being all lovey dovey oh I've missed you so much, blah, blah, blah.

As Cesar says no affection until their calm and submissive.
 

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duncdobe said:
is not to ever make a big deal about coming home or leaving.

No, ok my love I'm leaving now so be a good boy.

No, when you come home being all lovey dovey oh I've missed you so much, blah, blah, blah.

As Cesar says no affection until their calm and submissive.
I have to disagree with this up to a point. If you or he means do not use that high pitched annoying dog voice that a lot of people use that gets their dogs all excited as they are leaving then ok but if he means just leave then no, I think it is completely wrong. IMO you are better off giving the dog an instruction and a message when you leave. GKar is told "OK, I am going to work. Behave yourself and watch the house." then he gets a slap on the rump. He has gotten this same routine since he was a couple months old. All of this is said in a matter of fact way with no emphasis on anything except watch the house. As far as he is concerned everytime I leave I am going to work and he knows I always come home from work so there is never any problem. As far as no affection until they are calm and submissive I would say this gentleman probably has a very unsatisfied wife or life partner.
 

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ummmm

dogs aren't humans in fur; so two completely different things.

countless trainers tell people not to make a big deal about coming or going because it can create anxiety.

Also that was only a small part of Cesar's approach. A lot of walking is involved as well.

I actually watched Stanley Coren (not that he's the end all be all or Cesar etc..) on his TV show working with a fellow who's dog had separation anxiety and he said absolutely no attention when coming and going. It was great to see how the dog came along.
 

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duncdobe said:
..Also that was only a small part of Cesar's approach. A lot of walking is involved as well...
I've seen 4 episodes of this Dog Whisperer show and it seems his solution to every problem is to take your dog for a walk.

Is he just trying to get people to exercise their dogs or does walking with the owner have some psyhcological effect on a dog that i'm not aware of?

I've also seen an episode with Stanley Coren where the guy with the problem dog was telling the dog to stay (to keep him from sneaking out the door with him) and then leaving for the day. Giving this command and then leaving seemed to leave the dog confused and made the anxiety worse.
 

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I agree duncdobe. It is a matter of fact thing when I leave, no special attention at all. Just a fact of life that they have to get used to, I will come and go sometimes. When I can though I take them with me if at possible, but sometimes that can't happen.

But each person has their own way of doing things that works for them. Molari if that works for your particular dog; then I see nothing wrong with it.

I don't like extreme frantic craziness when I come home so I keep the coming home low key. That is fine later but I don't want to be mauled by dogs coming in the door and I don't want guests to be either. I like being greeted and like coming home to happy dogs but sometimes it can get out of hand with certain dogs.

In a book I read it was recommended you ignore the dog for 5 minutes when coming home. I believe it was the dog listener by Jan Fennell. I didn't agree with that for me but I could see how if your dog goes crazy on the coming home greeting how that would help. I did do a modified version of that for a bit and it helped the greetings be not such a huge deal.

One of my Dobe's grabs a toy and runs in circles upon my return. He used to throw himself at my face trying to give me kisses and do zoomies of happiness, he was crazy. I like the toy routine much better and so does everyone else =)
 

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I believe the book said wait longer than 5 minutes to greet, maybe 15 minutes. It has been awhile since I read that book, can't remember the exact time she suggested.
 

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You are absolutely right dogs are not humans in fur but they are not that far apart in how they react to stimuli. Love and respect generally get the same response from either. If this is their formula for fixing a dog that has this problem maybe so but I prefer not to come to that point.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Dobedad said:
I've seen 4 episodes of this Dog Whisperer show and it seems his solution to every problem is to take your dog for a walk.

Is he just trying to get people to exercise their dogs or does walking with the owner have some psyhcological effect on a dog that i'm not aware of?
quote]
Yeah I have seen it a few times and this is all I get also. No offense. He seems to do great things. I know the exercise part isn't the problem though. We walk daily and have a large yard to play in. Thanks everyone for the responses.

Usually when I leave, I just tell them to behave and be good. No big deals. When I come home, I am not big into jumping and all, so it is usually kept low key. I walk through the door. No big hellos. He on the other hand find his way to be extactic. Like I said, this is only when I leave at my parents house. I will try the ignoring and see if that will helps. And see if my dad will try something to occupy also. He just doesn't seem to want to be left there. He barrels to the door when he sees me grab my keys. I have to keep telling him back. I know he hasn't had anything bad happen to him. My parents wouldn't do something cruel to animals. The other 2 have no issues staying there. It is almost like he is afraid that I am abandoning him. My errands don't usually take that long. And now I try to make them quicker. Maybe an hour. Thanks again.
 

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Molari said:
If you or he means do not use that high pitched annoying dog voice that a lot of people use that gets their dogs all excited as they are leaving then ok but if he means just leave then no, I think it is completely wrong. IMO you are better off giving the dog an instruction and a message when you leave. You are absolutely right dogs are not humans in fur but they are not that far apart in how they react to stimuli. Love and respect generally get the same response from either. If this is their formula for fixing a dog that has this problem maybe so but I prefer not to come to that point
I don't think it is completely wrong at all. Just because some individuals choose not to make a big deal or give dogs a "message" before they leave doesn't mean they don't love or respect their dogs.
I do understand sometimes some people feel the need to do something or say something before they leave the house.
Every dog and every situation is different, but I think overall the best approach is to just leave and just return, not making a big deal at all - esp. with high energy dogs that get excited easily.
 

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I don't like that woman's advice, I read a little of it and didn't like it at all.

I also think maybe people are talking about two different things here. For dogs who do have separation anxiety, keeping things low key when leaving and arriving is one thing that can help. For dogs who dont' have separation anxiety, the only reason I can see for doing that is to make the dog wait on your permission to greet you, which if you have a good relationship with your dog shouldn't be necessary. Or if you want the greetings toned down so you don't get pawprints and scratches on your good clothes. It's pretty much a common sense kind of thing.

When I leave for work I always tell the dogs, *and* the cats, to be good, have a good day and I'll see them that night. The cats could care less if I'm speaking or not, and the dogs I'm sure don't understand a word of it, but it makes me feel better, that's why I do it. I do it in a purely conversational tone of voice so no one gets excited.

With my Dobermans I don't have too much input on the type or timing of the greeting when I get home from work. Radar was always tremendously excited when I came in the door but instead of greeting me he ran to the back door and wanted out so I kind of thought maybe his excitement was for the chance to pee rather than joy at my return.

Monte usually comes out of his crate slowly and has a good stretch, and then he too wants to go out, so we don't seem to have any issues in that area.
 

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If I read this right, this is only happening when you leave him at your parents house. He probably thinks your parents are too are boring, I know mine sure are. Do you bring any of his things there like toys or stuff to play with your parents or by himself. A couple of his own stuff might make him feel a bit more relaxed. Also like others had mentioned, not getting interaction from your parents could be contributing. I know being left at a strange house with people not in the the main pack could be unsettling.
 

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Kratty said:
If I read this right, this is only happening when you leave him at your parents house. He probably thinks your parents are too are boring, I know mine sure are.
LOL Kratty. But, I must say I totally agree. He may just get bored, how often does he see them? Could just be that he is a little uncomfortable out of his house without you. Maybe it is a phase that will just pass. (I will cross my fingers for ya) :)
 

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I tell Bandit " to be a good girl and I'll be back " She seems to know from my tone of voice and goes to her bed. If I don't say anything and just walk out the door she stands there and barks like a fool ! When I come home I pet her and then go and make her dinner. I usually then spend time with her after her meal. Notice I said I make her dinner first not mine. lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Haha Kratty. I know they might be parents and all.... :) Just kidding. I always take a bag with me that has a toy and food and a bone just incase I get caught up somewhere when I leave the house with the dogs. Kind of crazy I know. But it has become a habit. So he always has something to chew on and play with. He also has a toy at their house that he LOVES to play with. He runs in and hunts it down immediately. He also has Daisy their Beagle that he adores to visit with. We go over there weekly to visit. He goes by himself maybe 3 days a week for his walks in town with Daisy. They have been buddies since forever. It's not a nightly thing that I do my errands though. Hopefully this is a phase we can work through. I don't want it to escalate and get worse.

Heres Asher with his Buddy Daisy:

 

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The walking thing

how he explains it; is it's not just an exercise thing. You're walking your dog with the dog right beside you; no wandering at the end of the leash/flexi sniffing everything and marking everything.

It's the two of your going on a long walk. Breaks here and there for a pee or poo but on your terms not the dogs terms.

It's a way of establishing leadership. It seems a lot of people (average joes) have problems with leadership in the house and the dogs rule the homes.

You may want to take your dog for a walk like that before leaving him at your folks. That way he's gotten his energy out and he should be nice and relaxed at their house.

do you get anxious when you leave him there? If so he might be sensing that.

There's not reason for him not to settle down when he's somewhere he's been tons of time and there are people there.

when I'm leaving the house I'd tell me dog he's staying home and he'd just march off and go to bed..
 

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With Mavis I would tell her she's going to be staying home when I started getting ready to leave. That means when I started getting dressed or whatever the first step in getting good to go was. Then last thing I did before walking out the door was to hand her a pig ear.

If I had to leave for more than 10 hours or so, she stayed with my parents. If I was gone overnight, Mavis would bark at me and treat me like a stranger for an hour or so after I got home. I think it was because she was mad at me for going someplace she couldn't go.
 
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