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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hi y’all-

I’m a new member on this forum. Glad to be part of this community!! I’ve been doing so much research on dobies and I’ve come back time and time again to read all your informative posts and anecdotes.

That being said, I finally sourced a reputable breeder that produced healthy and beautiful dogs. However ….. when filling out the questionnaire they gave me, I didn’t hide the fact that I’m gay with all the “partner” questions (I live with my boyfriend). I hate to say it but everything was going pretty well until the breeder fully realized it … we had talked on the phone and everything! After receiving the questionnaire, they called me again, then gave me the run-around for a while, didn’t bother to check my references that they pressed me for, insisted that I co-own with them, and now (after I sent a polite email asking how they were doing with the pups as a litmus test of sorts) just told me at 4am they have nothing for me because a lot of their pups died and the rest are spoken for.

I’m not saying I don’t believe them or that I deserve one over someone else, I just kind of get the feeling it was never gonna happen anyway. And I hate being that guy because definitely not the woke type, but they definitely were thrown off by my being gay because I sound “masculine”/ “regular” on the phone during our introduction. They even made a point to call me after receiving the survey and ask about my living situation etc. Everything just went downhill from there. I don’t want to say who because they’re a respected name on here.

I feel like I’ve been strung along for a while. I wish things went differently. Does anybody know of any kind, down-to-earth and quality American dobie breeders in the New England area? I’m looking for a companion dog. I don’t mind waiting obviously! I just didn’t expect breeders to be so judgmental of prospective owners’ personal lives - especially considering the income, home, and jobs we have (bf works for animal health company that has the best pet insurance, and they knew this). It’s actually quite hard to find a solid breeder online because the internet is populated with scams and the like. I would appreciate any recommendations you guys have! Feel free to shoot me a dm too if that works better.

thank y’all :)
 

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Hi y’all-

I’m a new member on this forum. Glad to be part of this community!! I’ve been doing so much research on dobies and I’ve come back time and time again to read all your informative posts and anecdotes.

That being said, I finally sourced a reputable breeder that produced healthy and beautiful dogs. However ….. when filling out the questionnaire they gave me, I didn’t hide the fact that I’m gay with all the “partner” questions (I live with my boyfriend). I hate to say it but everything was going pretty well until the breeder fully realized it … we had talked on the phone and everything! After receiving the questionnaire, they called me again, then gave me the run-around for a while, didn’t bother to check my references that they pressed me for, insisted that I co-own with them, and now (after I sent a polite email asking how they were doing with the pups as a litmus test of sorts) just told me at 4am they have nothing for me because a lot of their pups died and the rest are spoken for.

I’m not saying I don’t believe them or that I deserve one over someone else, I just kind of get the feeling it was never gonna happen anyway. And I hate being that guy because definitely not the woke type, but they definitely were thrown off by my being gay because I sound “masculine”/ “regular” on the phone during our introduction. They even made a point to call me after receiving the survey and ask about my living situation etc. Everything just went downhill from there. I don’t want to say who because they’re a respected name on here.

I feel like I’ve been strung along for a while. I wish things went differently. Does anybody know of any kind, down-to-earth and quality American dobie breeders in the New England area? I’m looking for a companion dog. I don’t mind waiting obviously! I just didn’t expect breeders to be so judgmental of prospective owners’ personal lives - especially considering the income, home, and jobs we have (bf works for animal health company that has the best pet insurance, and they knew this). It’s actually quite hard to find a solid breeder online because the internet is populated with scams and the like. I would appreciate any recommendations you guys have! Feel free to shoot me a dm too if that works better.

thank y’all :)
That's downright sad. And kind of surprising. Considering the number of gay (or lesbian) breeders, judges etc specially in Dobermans and that I've known over the years it must be limiting for them.

I'm kind of in the wrong part of the world (the other coast) and ancient and kind of out of actively showing now but don't give up.

I hope someone in the New England area comes up with a name of a good breeder for you and you succeed in getting a great companion puppy..

dobebug
 

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I'm sorry to hear about this. It's totally not ok!

I'm Canadian so don't have any breeder suggestions for you but I did want to say that I co-own my boy with the breeder and I don't find anything odd about it. My boy lives with me and I care for him and pay all of his expenses but on his registration myself and his breeder are listed as co-owners.

Sugar was a show prospect but then covid happened so he's just my sweet boy. The co-ownership is not a red flag for me but the rest of what you reported definitely is.

Good luck in your search!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
That's downright sad. And kind of surprising. Considering the number of gay (or lesbian) breeders, judges etc specially in Dobermans and that I've known over the years it must be limiting for them.

I'm kind of in the wrong part of the world (the other coast) and ancient and kind of out of actively showing now but don't give up.

I hope someone in the New England area comes up with a name of a good breeder for you and you succeed in getting a great companion puppy..

dobebug
thank you 🙏
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm sorry to hear about this. It's totally not ok!

I'm Canadian so don't have any breeder suggestions for you but I did want to say that I co-own my boy with the breeder and I don't find anything odd about it. My boy lives with me and I care for him and pay all of his expenses but on his registration myself and his breeder are listed as co-owners.

Sugar was a show prospect but then covid happened so he's just my sweet boy. The co-ownership is not a red flag for me but the rest of what you reported definitely is.

Good luck in your search!
thank you!! yeah I don’t want to beat a dead horse but with the co-ownership it was more the lack of clarity from the breeder about what that would entail than me being against it. they didn’t really let me ask questions over the phone either. It was so odd.

Thanks though, I’ll be alright … I’m a pretty optimistic guy so I’m choosing to believe my puppy just wasn’t there 😆
 

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My breeder came to my house and assessed our home. He had a lot of questions for us and also brought a binder full of the sire and dam's health records, etc. He also brought Sugar's mom and aunt to my house which we loved because we had just let Coco go the week before so we enjoyed having dobes in the house.

I filled out a questionnaire and consented to a vet reference check.

Then I had an hour long telephone call where I had 15 questions to ask, some of which were about the co-ownership. Once we were both satisfied with each other, we moved forward on this.

My vet knows about the co-ownership and has it in Sugar's file that his breeder can call whenever he would like for medical updates although we check in with each other periodically.

My contract states I co-own Sugar with everything laid out.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. We are interviewing the breeders too!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My breeder came to my house and assessed our home. He had a lot of questions for us and also brought a binder full of the sire and dam's health records, etc. He also brought Sugar's mom and aunt to my house which we loved because we had just let Coco go the week before so we enjoyed having dobes in the house.

I filled out a questionnaire and consented to a vet reference check.

Then I had an hour long telephone call where I had 15 questions to ask, some of which were about the co-ownership. Once we were both satisfied with each other, we moved forward on this.

My vet knows about the co-ownership and has it in Sugar's file that his breeder can call whenever he would like for medical updates although we check in with each other periodically.

My contract states I co-own Sugar with everything laid out.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. We are interviewing the breeders too!
this is actually really helpful. thanks again coco
 

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I would consider it a blessing to have avoided a breeder that simply isn't a good fit for you...thank goodness there are many good breeders out there and hopefully this would not come up again. As others have said, I know many that the issue of your sexuality wouldn't even cross their minds. The goal in finding a breeder for many of us is to have someone in our lives that will be a good support system, and someone we wouldn't hesitate to contact...maybe even someone we end up counting as a friend.

I'm not on the east coast so don't know as many breeders out that way. Hopefully some of our members can make some good suggestions for you -
 

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It is surprising that in todays world anybody would care if you were gay or not. I'm much more interested in things like dog experience, homeownership, etc.... I will say that there are some very conservative people in the Doberman world, and you might have found one of them - hard to know. There are plenty of people in the Doberman world that could care less about who you love, and if you keep looking you will find one.
 

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That's so sad. Sexuality has nothing to do with giving a dog a good loving home. I'm well aware of how unaccepting people can be, but that should have zero affect in evaluating if someone can care for an animal right. At least a large portion of the dog world sounds like they are accepting, I'm sure a much better breeder will work out and the perfect little puppy will come along for you!
 

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Neo Puppy, Lanah Chi-Cairn X 7 y/o, RIP Eva HADR Rescue Dobe, Sunking's Spock, Lillah Chi-Terrier X
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...(after I sent a polite email asking how they were doing with the pups as a litmus test of sorts) just told me at 4am they have nothing for me because a lot of their pups died and the rest are spoken for....
Like the above responses, the breeder's interactions with you were not right, so best choice is to look for another breeder. Just wanted to add that in our previous boy, Spock's litter, he was one of three surviving pups out of a seven puppy litter. Four died from infections, possibly from the tail dockings? Luckily, we were early in the puppy reservation process and got our boy, who lived on to 10.5 y/o before passing. This was from a reputable DCPA breeder. So, it does happens sometimes. 😕

Hope you have better success in your continued "Dober Quest". (y)
 

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I've met several breeders and competitors in my region who turned out to be HELLA conservative (downright fash, if I'm going to be honest) after the last administration, so I'm sadly not at all surprised about this.

Just know you've avoided an eventual problem and keep on looking. :)
 
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