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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My husband and I have different "techniques" on how to train our dobie. My husband is very relaxed. He lets Rocco get away with alot and he's not consistent. When Rocco whines and cries in the crate(after exercise and being out for awhile) he thinks that he wants to go out . I try to tell him that he's getting played by Rocco and he takes him out anyway.:help_up_2
I practice dominance. I beleive in exercise, disapline and then affection. We take him to obedience training classes and what I work on with him is out the window when he's with my husband. I know it's confusing for Rocco. I know that my husband thinks of him as a " human child" I think of him as a dog....an awesome dog but still a dog! My husband and I work nights so we have to have Rocco on a flexible but structured schedule. Also we want a well behaved dog. Because you know a not well behaved doberman gets a bad rap!
My question is....does anyone else have this situation? and how do you deal with it?
Thank you in advance!:peace:
 

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I have a similar problem with my significant other. I feel he is too harsh at times with Khan. I feel that he doesn't let the dog know exactly what he expects of the dog, then corrects him. I think we have to walk a fine line and be disciplined, but also understanding. I have brought it up to him before, but I try not to "harp." I have been known to give a gentle reminder, "honey, he doesn't know what you want." Or, "tell him what you want." It's very hard and I sympathize!
 

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I think we all share this problem in some way shape or form. I have 4 sons and hubby....and not one does what I tell them to do with Petey. Dispite all the different people spending time with him, he is doing pretty good at nine months old. Petey has learned he can get away with different things with each person too. He is one smart puppy! So I really don't have answers other then constantly letting your hubby know how you want things handled. I'm always telling my family the names of commands I want Petey to know...so they use the correct word for Petey to understand what they want from him. I also had to lay down some strict rules about rough playing, now they understand why I wanted them to stop the nipping...because at this point....he is huge and very strong.

Carol
 

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My trainer told me that both parties should be on the same page as far as comands you use, and how and when you use them, but at the same time the more you both work with the dog, the better he will understand each individual person who walks him.

For the best results, you have to work together and agree on the same things or the dog is going to favor one or the other parent for certain things.
 

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Carol's right on. Both my dogs know they can get away with more stuff with my GF than with me. I am the more dominant one in the house let'say. She takes Rock to obedience class and then shows me how to do it and what words to say. I think this helps out a lot. Consistency is the key. Everyone is going to handle the dog differently but it's paramount to use the same words and hand gestures.
 

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I have Rudi all to myself. Luckily I know when Rudi needs to go out. He runs to the door if I say "need to go out, go potty?" and gives a big lick, lip smack if I say "wanna eat, are you hungry? or are you thirsty?" I can see how hard it could potentially be if two people are trying to train a dog. Both of you need to set guidelines with eachother, figure out what you want to accomplish with your boy together and follow that. It doesn't have to be all training all the time, there has to be fun and downtime, too. But both of you need to be on the same page.......how do you think a real human kid will turn out if both parents can't raise a child with the same idea?
 

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My hubby and I also have some differing opinions about training techniques. Not many - but a few. And thankfully, I am continuing to "show him the way" ;)

For example, he caught Red digging under one of the trees in the backyard, so he put him in time-out... for an HOUR AND A HALF. This happened while I was at work, btw, and Red was still in time-out when I got home which is when I heard the story.

I (nicely) explained to him that a 5 minute time-out is more than sufficient for punishment of wrong-doing. After that point, the dog has no idea why he is continuing to be punished and only becomes afraid of the punisher.

And the great part about this is that Red totally proved my point by avoiding James all night - he wouldn't come to him, and would only lay at my feet, refusing to move. This behavior successfully drove my point home and to prove that too-long time-outs are not effective punishments, and James felt really bad about it afterwards.

This is only one example, but my tactic is to tell James in a NICE way that it would be better, and more effective, to do it this way. Don't start yelling at him, or talking down to him so it makes him sound like a moron, or he will only go on the defensive and not listen to a word you say - and will probably deliberately not do as you say.

You know you're hubby's personality type better than any of us, and I'm sure you know exactly what to say, and how to say it in order to get your way. Same rules apply here. Use your female cunning to manipulate him into the consistent training partner you (and your puppy) need. ;)
 
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I can't stand it when people talk down to me. I know they are just trying to show or tell me the correct way to do it but aarrgghh! I don't know maybe it's a guy thing.
 

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I thought it was only me that had this problem!! Me and hubby have lots of 'disagreements' on how to handle situations with Tia. I feel that he isn't consistant enough, and isn't clear on what he wants from her and it drives me mad!

I also constantly tell him what words to use for which commands and he seems totally unable to remember them and makes his own up. Think he needs to attend obediance classes for himself!!!!!!
 

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I've said it before.....I'm getting shock collars for all the men in my life...except PETEY!

oxc
:biggthump Carol, that's perfect!!! With my ex, I had the same thoughts between the e-collar on high or the prong collar! When he would leave in the morning, Baron would follow him to the door and he constantly told him to stay, like was the dog to stay by the door all day!
 

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:biggthump Carol, that's perfect!!! With my ex, I had the same thoughts between the e-collar on high or the prong collar! When he would leave in the morning, Baron would follow him to the door and he constantly told him to stay, like was the dog to stay by the door all day!
My hubby truly is worse then the kids, and they are awful. I've always been blamed for none of our dogs being properly trained....when I got Petey I made a promise to myself and my family that I wouldn't be a push over with him, and would train him well, and I am keeping my part of the bargain....now we see who the real problems are....them, , not me or all the dogs we have owned!

Ecollars all around!!!! :)

Carol ox
 

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Instead of debating over how to train the dogs.(I tend to be a bit bull headed/ I am a Taurus) I let my GF take the dogs to puppy classes. I then get "trained" by her as she shows me the things that she was taught. I go into the whole situation as if it were me in a class and my teacher just happens to be my GF. It works out pretty well. If we have our pretend class she corrects me by showing me instead of being judgemental and telling me I'm stupid! LOL
 

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My wife and I are very different people so we knew that we needed to go to all the training classes together. We both agree that we need to be consistent with the dogs so we help each other remember the rules.

I tend to be more of the sucker and will on occasion give them a little treat or two (human food! I KNOW I KNOW I'M HORRIBLE!!! = ). I also am not as strict enforcing (I like to think that I just forget) things tranquil homecoming and moderate pulling on the leashes.

We are on the same page as far as punishment. Neither one of us likes to yell or physically strike our pets (although being from NJ I'm OK with some creative foul language! Of course all in fun) and if we are not around for the "act" then we will not punish them since they will not know why they are being punished for. We find using a certain tone of voice really lets them know when they are doing something bad or we are disappointed.

We also may not be the best of owners/trainers since despite knowing that they are dogs and require pack rules we still treat them like family. They pretty much have the whole house to themselves (inside dogs but never on beds) as long as they obey commands.

Funny thing is while my wife is better at discipline and structure I'm better at the caring for them (I bath them in the shower every month, make sure water is fresh, etc...).
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thank You All! I'm glad I'm not alone!! It gets very frustrating when your both not on the same page. When I walk him in the morning..he's great. When WE walk him in the morning he becomes unruly and distracted by hubbys "affection first" rule. GRRRRRR! I was watching the dog whisperer and Cesar made the comment that you treat (train) your dog the way you treat(train) your children. I thought about that and...it's true...for me anyway. We have 3 girls(17,14 and 13) and I'm very structured, my husband is very "relaxed". I think for me it's a "respect -thing"...they get over on him. He askes for it...I demand it! I'm the momma!!!! LOL!
 

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My boyfriend and I have the oposite problem. I am the push-over. Dogs are smart though. Your husband will find (as I have) that if you do not tighten your grip on these babies, they do not respect you. though my dog always loved me, he wouldn't do as I told him. On the other hand, when my boyfriend told him to jump... he did. I learned and so will your husband. I had to start over with my dog beginning with sit, stay and come before he started looking at me as his boss instead of his servant!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Biz, I think my husband is "feeling the burn". I had to work and my husband took Rocco to class and Rocco did nothing for him!! He called and said that Rocco was unruly in class! I told him I was surprised, he's always so good with me! LOL!
 

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Since I'm home with Java 98% of the time, I had to have a family meeting to let my hubby and son know that there had to be ONE way to train Java and we all had to be on board ie. saying 'down' not 'lie down'. I feel the same way about time outs - short and sweet and immediately following the transgression, not ten minutes later.

I also agree with Kratty's assessment on house training and think it applies to discipline as well: take the newspaper and hit self on the head. We all know that Java is a funky clothing thief, so no one should be leaving clothing where she can get it! If I see her sneak off with a dirty sock, it's her human's fault as much as it hers.

As Java has gotten older, training her has become so much easier. Wish I could say the same about hubby and son...And that shock collar goes around which body part....? lol
 
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