I wished Kohl away.. I came across a diary entry this morning..
I resented Kohl because DH wasn't there (he travels alot). I took it out on Kohl.. I know I was a great mom but there were so many times that the whining just annoyed me and I would just go lock myself in my bedroom. What I would give to have that whining back... Just for one more day.. I just want my baby back. I miss him so much.
I am not sorry for doing what was right becasue those last few moments I was with him he wasn't even Kohl.. I wish I just payed more attention to him, loved him more, been more patient and understood sooner that he was sick and all his problems were related to that and not because I thought he was a bad dog. Because he wasn't. I wasn't a good mommy sometimes.. I loved him.. I loved him so much and I wish I would have told all of you of the good times not the frustrating bad time. Which were no fault of his own. I wish I understood that he was sick from the start and that he was going to have such a short life with us. I wish we would have gone to the dog park more, I wish I would have just taken more time to sit on the couch with him and let him chew his raw hide on my lap with out carring that he was getting it all over me. I wish I could hear him whine to be let out just one more time.. That is all I want.. Just to have him back. I want one more chance to prove that I loved him so much and that I can't pick the pieces up because I miss him so much
I resented Kohl because DH wasn't there (he travels alot). I took it out on Kohl.. I know I was a great mom but there were so many times that the whining just annoyed me and I would just go lock myself in my bedroom. What I would give to have that whining back... Just for one more day.. I just want my baby back. I miss him so much.
I am not sorry for doing what was right becasue those last few moments I was with him he wasn't even Kohl.. I wish I just payed more attention to him, loved him more, been more patient and understood sooner that he was sick and all his problems were related to that and not because I thought he was a bad dog. Because he wasn't. I wasn't a good mommy sometimes.. I loved him.. I loved him so much and I wish I would have told all of you of the good times not the frustrating bad time. Which were no fault of his own. I wish I understood that he was sick from the start and that he was going to have such a short life with us. I wish we would have gone to the dog park more, I wish I would have just taken more time to sit on the couch with him and let him chew his raw hide on my lap with out carring that he was getting it all over me. I wish I could hear him whine to be let out just one more time.. That is all I want.. Just to have him back. I want one more chance to prove that I loved him so much and that I can't pick the pieces up because I miss him so much