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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have my eyes on a black female but i wanted to just clarify a few things before I go through this. I recently found a new home for my foster dog and it's time to get a forever dog. I honestly thought this foster would be but she attacked my buddies father a month in and showed serious signs of aggression. That neither here nor there and we found a great home for her.

I know Dobe's are sweet and loving but I wanted to be clear of their general characteristics. I know mostly their just big lap dogs but my GF is scared of them based on appearance. She knows this is wrong but until i bring home a puppy and she falls in love, I just want to throw some facts at her why this dog is among the best. She's a dog lover and i know she'll melt at the sight of that cute face. We had plans of having her mother watch her every now and then as well as her sister, I just wanted to be sure this is the dog for me since our last foster shook me up a bit.

So DT, lay some facts on me!
 

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joie de vivre
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I would caution against bringing home a dog breed that everyone in the house isn't fully on board with before the pup comes home.

If she's afraid of the breed she could misinterpret a lot of puppy antics and mishandle things which can cause problems. If you guys live together, I'd make sure she is 100% behind getting a Doberman. Otherwise, I think you guys might need to look into some other breeds that you both will be comfortable with and enjoy owning.

Has she spent any significant time around adult Dobermans?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
No I only know of 1 doberman in my area. She LOVESS dogs, loved my WGSD, loved my Belgium Mali, but when it comes to dobes, pits and rots, she gets uncomfortable. Crazy enough, my buddy has a pitbull that she loves and another has a pitbull puppy that she wants lol. We don't live together yet but she would play a major roll in the puppies life. I think she just has the view of the older movies when they were perceived as attack dogs and what not. I was thinking about bringing her up to the breeder and check out their older dogs and see how she is with them. She loves and prefers little dogs, she has a jack russel and her sis has a Jug, but loves big dogs as well.

My only time I spent with an adult Dobe was when i was little and he was my ride on horse :) I miss that dog and I've been wanting one ever since.
 

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joie de vivre
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I think she needs to spend time around Dobes in general, in that case. Not only is she afraid of the breed but it sounds like she really has no idea what a Dobe is like at all. If I were you I'd definitely schedule some time to spend at the breeders around their dogs. I'd make every attempt to go to any and all shows/competitions in your area where you might find Dobermans entered.

If she's never been around Dobes it might even turn out that she's not afraid of them after all, but they annoy the holy crap out of her with how active and underfoot they can be and how they just have to glue themselves to you the second you stop moving or how they constantly have to be in the middle of everything - it can be cute when it's a small dog but when it's a 75-lb dog standing on your leg with their head shoved right in front of yours to watch what you're doing, some people don't like that (crazy, I know :)). I love it, but it can and does drive a lot of people crazy to deal with such a big, in your face dog.

I standby my statement that everyone needs to be on board with a Dobe pup and everyone needs to know what they're getting into. If you think you'll probably eventually live with her or you hope to - she needs to be totally on board. Or you need to be prepared for it to possibly end the relationship if she turns out to be really unhappy with the situation. Dobermans are that time consuming and needy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the replies and i love that video, especially when they look back to the fawn wondering "you got piece fo me plz?" haha I'll be sure to show her that.

I should probably add a little about myself while I'm here. I'm 24 years old, work roughly 45 hours per week and a very social person. I would like to bring my dog virtually everywhere with me and be able to trust her in different situations. I don't like leaving my dog behind because I cant take it a certain place and neither does my GF. I'm an athletic person and we would go to the beach, on hikes, swimming, camping and what not. Of course, i love a velcro type dog and so does my GF. I will definatly bring her up to the breeders and let her fall in love.... I mean... how can you not?
 

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If she loves a velcro dog then you need to also show her all the posts on here of the velcro, snuggle, cuddle dobe photos.
 

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Riley's Mom
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I've always wanted a dobe, and it took a ton of convincing to get permission to have one here. Just do tons and tons of research and explain as much as you can about them first. Show how knowledgeable you are, and explain how all of the dobe's needs will be taken care of and address any and all of her concerns. Take her to see some dobes in person as well.

No matter what though, it has to be something you both agree with. As others have said, if she winds up misunderstanding anything, it could cause trouble. I've had to correct people here multiple times already about how to react to situations properly to avoid problems, and understand the whys and hows of things regarding Riley's personality and communication.

It's rough at first, but it gets better. Riley was a terror puppy just the other week, but he has already shown signs of improvement with manners. It's a learning experience for both the dog and his or her people. You grow together though. The perfect companion doesn't form overnight.

Getting an adult will come with it's own set of challenges I am sure, but basically, research, research, research... it sounds like you have the right idea! I am about your age and I definitely feel the same passion you do, lol!

And yeah, I'm just repeating people mostly.

:D
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
If she loves a velcro dog then you need to also show her all the posts on here of the velcro, snuggle, cuddle dobe photos.
I'm loading up the flash drive @ work now, thanks for the tip! haha
Actually, I might just have her surf all the threads herself with all the comments attached, makes it a little more special!


I've always wanted a dobe, and it took a ton of convincing to get permission to have one here. Just do tons and tons of research and explain as much as you can about them first. Show how knowledgeable you are, and explain how all of the dobe's needs will be taken care of and address any and all of her concerns. Take her to see some dobes in person as well.

No matter what though, it has to be something you both agree with. As others have said, if she winds up misunderstanding anything, it could cause trouble. I've had to correct people here multiple times already about how to react to situations properly to avoid problems, and understand the whys and hows of things regarding Riley's personality and communication.

It's rough at first, but it gets better. Riley was a terror puppy just the other week, but he has already shown signs of improvement with manners. It's a learning experience for both the dog and his or her people. You grow together though. The perfect companion doesn't form overnight.

Getting an adult will come with it's own set of challenges I am sure, but basically, research, research, research... it sounds like you have the right idea! I am about your age and I definitely feel the same passion you do, lol!

And yeah, I'm just repeating people mostly.

:D

Unfortunately at this time, an adult adoption is out of the question. We had our hopes up a little to high for our rescue dog that she would be our forever dog and it crushed us both given her issues. I of course would be willing to, but i can't see my gf that upset since she gets attached to dogs way to fast. I've been on this board for a while and have learned a TON and continue to everyday. What my GF needs to see is how affectionate and loving these dogs truly are and not what they are perceived to be.
 

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Interestingly enough I was in a similar position to your girlfriend. I love dogs and have owned many - labradors, border collies and my parents had English Pointers. My husband always wanted a Doberman. I was slightly anxious of them to be honest and was not that keen. However I met the parents of the litter and spent time with the puppies.I was still a bit reserved about it all when I saw how big Luther's mum was!!

However I agreed to it as my husband is the one who works from home and would be spending alot of time with him.

I have to say that 12 months on I am a total convert. Don't get me wrong Luther was really demanding and quite obnoxious as a young pup. Stubborn at times and the nipping...OMG. However we persevered, agreed a consistent approach, agreed training and 'command' words and we are getting there. The nipping stopped but he still thinks it is fun to stick his nose in your bum when you turn your back!

I cannot believe how much of a velcro dog he is. He sticks to my side when I am home, and loves play and keeping his brain active. He can get under my feet and at times I wish he would learn to play by himself:D

However I adore him. Saying that he broke the sofa last night!! Leapt on my husbands lap and it could not take the additional 50kgs!!...cheap sofa though:mad:

Please feel free to pass on my experiences to your GF - happy to answer any questions if she wants to PM me too.

Ruth
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Well she says she doesnt want a dog that looks scary... lol... Anybody want to post some pics to make her think otherwise?!?!
 

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That's funny to me because my thought process is the total opposite. In today's society I wouldn't want anything BUT a scary looking dog. People are nuts out there and I feel more at ease going out with Prime at my side because his looks deter strangers from approaching me. I know my parents feel better with him around me, especially with my dad being a cop.
 

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joie de vivre
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Well she says she doesnt want a dog that looks scary... lol... Anybody want to post some pics to make her think otherwise?!?!
I know you're being lighthearted about this, and that's good, but I'll just say it again. She needs to spend time around adult Dobermans before the puppy comes home.

All the positive pictures, videos, and stories in the world can't substitute for actually interacting with the breed.

Ultimately, the puppy will be yours. You guys don't live together so clearly you can make whatever decision you want. But if you are serious about your GF then be fair to her about this. If I were you, I'd chill out and stop hitting her up to look at pictures and videos.

I know you're excited and you want a puppy but I know if I were her and I felt a certain way but my SO were bugging me, even playfully, about it, it would get old and I'd feel a lot less open to the opposing side. Relax. Again stories, pictures, and videos are not going to change her mind. I feel okay about watching videos of Green Mambas but I sure as hell don't want to hold one. Make sense? She's uncertain and the only thing that will put her at ease is going to be face-to-face interaction with good, stable Dobes. I'd focus on making that happen rather than saturating her with all things Doberman that won't make a difference.

It can be hard sometimes to understand someone else's uncertainty or fears when you've never experienced it. But it's kind of patronizing for someone who doesn't share that fear to expect someone else to just sorta lighten up by looking at pictures and videos of what they're afraid of. Don't pressure her. Just set up a time to go to the breeders and hang out with their dogs and talk. Let her own experience make up her mind. You just can't tell someone else how to feel or think.

I'll butt out now. Good luck to the both of you!
 

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Dober-DERP
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Maybe it's the cropped ears that throw her off? Show her pictures of Dobes with natural ears

While I agree 100% with brw1982, but I have also found that with many people the look of natural ears on a Dobie make them look much less intimidating.

Now let me tell you a story....

Once upon a time (several years ago), my boyfriend Jeff was dating a girl named Ruth. Ruth is scared of any "intimidating" looking dog over 50lbs or so (So if it isn't a Lab or Retriever essentially). Jeff got an offer to get a big 9 month old male named Duke. Shortly after getting Duke, Jeff's work schedule changed and he needed to work more, leaving Ruth as the main person with the dog.
Duke (because of his previous owners) had some behavior issues, but nothing a little training and attention wouldn't correct. Like most young Doberman he was also high energy. With Ruth being afraid of him, it made his behaviors worse and worse. Also since she was afraid of the dog, she couldn't make him obey her properly.
Again because of her fear, she didn't walk him enough. As anyone knows, if a dog becomes bored and hyper it's a very bad mix.
It became SO unfair to the dog, that Jeff finally had enough and re homed the poor fellow hoping to give him a better life. Unfortunately Duke ended up biting a child and was put to sleep about a year after being re homed.

Moral of the story, if you fear the dog it'll be bad.
With your girlfriend being unsure of this situation, this could very well be you and your dog. Or you guys (as was said) could split up because of this.

Maybe rethink a Doberman and let her get the Pitbull puppy she's looking at. There will always be another Doberman puppy. You said your only 24, so you have LOTS of life left to get the perfect one. 45hrs a week is a long time to be away from home with a new puppy, so your girlfriend would be the one taking care of it. You can use that time to bring her to shows and introduce her to adult Doberman and get her comfortable, and to save up enough money for a well-bred dog (DON'T SUPPORT BYB)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I appreciate the all the information on making her get on board. After sending her some cute photos, she realized that she was in the wrong for discriminating a dog based on appearance. She still thinks they are scary looking, really?, but I can understand that (i personally want to give every dobe a big hug) Yes it's a big dog and she's only used to smaller dogs, but who says a smaller dog and a Dobe cant coexist? We'll be checking out some breeders close by so she can mingle with the adults. My belgium Malinois was the scariest looking dog I've owned and everyone feared her, but my GF was head over heels for her?

Yes I work a lot but i have a few thoughts that might work out. My girlfriend (pending her being 100% on board) works in retail so her schedule always changes. During the times she has the morning off, she can commit to the dog. My mother has Mondays off so on days she doesn't, my mom could take care of her then. On other days that my GF's mother has off from work, she would take her when shes a puppy, not positive about an adult. Other days, doggy daycare? your thoughts? I don't mind spending the money, especially while she is a puppy, to better socialize her with other dogs.

PS, I would never buy from a BYB, i know these dogs are expensive but I have the money already saved up for one now.
 

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I think she's trying to tell you, in several different ways, that she doesn't want a Doberman. If this is a serious relationship I think you need to honor that, for the sake of your relationship and the sake of the dog. Maybe it's not the right time right now.

If you seriously want a Dobe in the future, let her get to know some, with NO pressure that you are ready to get a pup right now. Volunteer with the local Doberman rescue (do some events where you get to meet/hang out with the dogs). Maybe you can be an emergency foster home for when regular fosters go on vacation.

If you pressure her into this breed it can only end in heartbreak for everyone.
 

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mine is super charismatic-outgoing and sweet to people =
but I was suprised how mean to UPS guy
he always barks alot at mail people but once he got out
and the UPS guy had to block Sparky with a package==SParky bit thru it
top to bottom...thank God it was not the man or else SParky would have
been quaranteened==point being from my experience even if you get a
super sweet one=they are protection dogs and you can't train that out of them
I have tried to train Sparky about the mail people but after over thirteen years
of trying I gave up==he HATES them-=even in the car be growls at their trucks
passing by in traffic==
 

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I adopted an adult red female with docked tail and natural ears

she is stand offish but once she likes you she is all over you wanting attention

the natural ears and the red color do make her appear less intimidaiting, but ppl still stand clear

plus she is cat and dog friendly, a must as we have a cat and visit family with cats, she also loves walks and going out without but due to her being standoff we try not to place her in really croweded areas that could be uncomfortable for her
 

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Supersized Warlock Alpha
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My husband wasn't fully on board with a Doberman initially - it took a lot of convincing (and we had a GSD previously). He knows I research well, so that was a part of it. But I did actually inundate him with information, photos, and videos. I had people here post sweet/endearing photos and videos, which he watched.

One day I came home and he was watching this - I think he searched "doberman attack" on youtube, and this is what he came up with. This guy also has a ton of adorable videos with this same dog and his chihuahua playing.
OgdttKGgvlg

We also did go and meet some adults, which helped significantly, since he's a dog person so could see through their intimidating appearance, and see their true demeanor in their eyes, expressions, and body language (and nub wags). Silas has won over many people, and though he has about 3 million adorable photos it's never the same as when they get to spend time with him - you can see the shift in people.

I agree that she should be fully on board since they're so much work, and there is so much breed prejudice out there, that she needs to be an advocate. We've had countless people post on this forum who are stereotyping their own puppies - the pup is biting and nipping like every puppy does, and they're posting about their "aggressive" Dobe puppy. She needs to be able to understand this before the pup comes home. Since she's familiar with working breeds that you've had in the past, she should also understand that these dogs are pushy and can be intense but a Dobe with a proper temperament would never be unpredictable or a loose cannon.

I think that volunteering for a rescue is a great idea. Also, find out when the dog shows are, when the Dobes are showing, and go there. Not only are they a stunning breed in the ring, but she can meet a bunch of adults and probably a bunch of puppies and youngsters.

There are a ton of threads on this forum about Dobes being sweet and snuggly. There are also threads about Dobes as therapy dogs. If your girlfriend really understands dogs, she should be able to see past their "scary" appearance and really see in their body language and eyes that they are stable, loving dogs.

I can put up countless photos myself. :) Here's Silas working at the local library in the Read to Rover program.
 
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