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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a 3 yr. old, a 5 yr. old and a 7 yr. old. We have had a unique situation come up and are looking at an adult doberman to possibly bring into our home. We have spent some time with her. She is 5 years old and is extremely outgoing and loving with adults. She however is very jumpy with my children. The older two boys are very gentle however they do love to give her gentle hugs around the neck which she does not like and pulls away from. She relishes hugs from me though! Our three year old does well and we are very persistent on teaching him how to be very gentle with her however there have been times he has come up behind her and put his hands on her and she jumps and turns to face him. She doesn't growl she is just very very jumpy. I am not exactly sure how to adequately teach a three year old to act perfectly around this dog for the simple fact that he is three. He doesn't hit her or crawl on her, he simply puts his hands on her to pet her. My question is if this dog should even be considered for our home. She obviously is not accustomed to children at all and has grown up around adults. I simply do not know if the kids are something she will gradually get used to or if she is too old to really settle in with kids. Has anyone else brought an adult dobe into a home with young kids? I am feeling like a puppy that can be brought up with my children might be the best option which, although will be much more work, is what we had planned on doing originally. Thanks for the input.
 

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I'll be interested in the advice u'll be getting, our home is all adults also. Wondering how she'll act around my small grandchildren, when I get them.
 

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Children that age do things that are inappropriate to a dog. 3/5/7 will not be able to read the dog nor respect it. I wouldn't want to be brought into a situation where I was subjected to children those ages and I doubt the dog will either. There is no way you can supervise all 3 of the kids all the time and the dog will suffer for it.
 

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I wouldn't do it either. A rescue would not place a dog like this girl, with a family with young children, she is obviously uncomfortable with them. Just my opinion.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Children that age do things that are inappropriate to a dog. 3/5/7 will not be able to read the dog nor respect it. I wouldn't want to be brought into a situation where I was subjected to children those ages and I doubt the dog will either. There is no way you can supervise all 3 of the kids all the time and the dog will suffer for it.
Just digging in a little deeper into your statement....are you saying that you don't think dogs in general should be around young kids? Even though I will say that I have worked very hard to teach my children to be very respectul of dogs I am not the person that is going to sit here and defend my children like an idiot saying they are perfect with dogs. They are kids and I agree with the things you said. I however have witnessed doberman after doberman loving and protecting children and patiently puting up with their childish antics. This girl just doesn't seem to be one of those types of dobes which is a bummer since she is fantastic otherwise! :(


It seems like the consensus is that she should not be placed in a home that she is not completely comfortable and she will not adjust to the change which is what I needed to know. I guess in the back of my mind I was thinking, perhaps she will become accustomed to the children. Thank you all for your input! Much appreciated as I needed a little guidance in this one!
 

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Just digging in a little deeper into your statement....are you saying that you don't think dogs in general should be around young kids? Even though I will say that I have worked very hard to teach my children to be very respectul of dogs I am not the person that is going to sit here and defend my children like an idiot saying they are perfect with dogs. They are kids and I agree with the things you said. I however have witnessed doberman after doberman loving and protecting children and patiently puting up with their childish antics. This girl just doesn't seem to be one of those types of dobes which is a bummer since she is fantastic otherwise! :(!
I believe kids and dogs are a wonderful combination to a point. The ages of the children is what concerns me. Add to that the dog in question seems uncomfortable with them tells me that there is a good chance of a problem. Also this applies to any dog not just a doberman. Your statement "patiently putting up with their childish antics" is a concern for me. Somewhere there is another thread about a dobe that bit a child that it was familiar with when the dog was left with friends for a time. The dog reacted to something. ALL dogs have a limit. And what some see as "childish antics" could be in reality teasing or harassing a dog. From your/kids view it is harmless until the dog has had enough and the kids don't read the dog's language to stop. That's when the dog speaks in the only way it knows and bites. Most dogs try to move away or give a growl or some other non physical sign but when kids continue to push that's when the dog feels there is no escape and bites. Again......ALL DOGS HAVE A LIMIT. Children have a knack for finding it.
 

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I think any dog that shows the least bit of nervousness around children should not be subjected to a home with small ones for their own mental well being as well as the physical well being of the children.

Imagine if you had to move to a place with strangers and 3 of those strangers did inappropriate things. Running at you screaming, coming up behind you and suddenly touching you harder then you feel comfortable with, things of that nature. How long would it be before you lost your cool with one of them?
 

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Just digging in a little deeper into your statement....are you saying that you don't think dogs in general should be around young kids? Even though I will say that I have worked very hard to teach my children to be very respectul of dogs I am not the person that is going to sit here and defend my children like an idiot saying they are perfect with dogs. They are kids and I agree with the things you said. I however have witnessed doberman after doberman loving and protecting children and patiently puting up with their childish antics. This girl just doesn't seem to be one of those types of dobes which is a bummer since she is fantastic otherwise! :(


It seems like the consensus is that she should not be placed in a home that she is not completely comfortable and she will not adjust to the change which is what I needed to know. I guess in the back of my mind I was thinking, perhaps she will become accustomed to the children. Thank you all for your input! Much appreciated as I needed a little guidance in this one!
I agree that dogs and kids can be a great combo with proper supervision. In this case, it sounds like you are pretty on top of teaching your kids to respect dogs as much as kids their ages can be expected to. However, you are talking about a dog that is obviously uncomfortable with children to begin with. I agree with others that there are other adult rescue Dobes out there that would be more comfortable around kids to begin with that you might be able to look into! Thanks for taking everyone's advice into account:) Many people come here asking for advice, but then get upset when they are told something they don't want to hear!
 

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Please don't risk it if you are not 110% confident and sure. A friend of mine recently adopted out an adult dog to a woman with young kids. The dog was already nervous around kids but the woman wanted to try. The dog ended up biting the kid in the face(because the kid was being a kid and was acting up around the dog) causing the need for plastic surgery. The dog is now dead when it could have perfectly thrived in a home without children. There are SO many dogs out there needing homes, I would go with a totally kid-tolerant one before trying out one you are unsure of and facing the worst consequences.
 

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Please don't risk it if you are not 110% confident and sure. A friend of mine recently adopted out an adult dog to a woman with young kids. The dog was already nervous around kids but the woman wanted to try. The dog ended up biting the kid in the face(because the kid was being a kid and was acting up around the dog) causing the need for plastic surgery. The dog is now dead when it could have perfectly thrived in a home without children. There are SO many dogs out there needing homes, I would go with a totally kid-tolerant one before trying out one you are unsure of and facing the worst consequences.
I agree with ZR 100%
-but, let me ADD:

- I have trained dogs and my only kid (son just turned 29)...I would not fear, a problem with him...in this situation / even when he was young, but this Dad is nearby (initially)
I think this dog could be low risk to home...provided your children are respectful and loving to the dog, and want to engage in supervised play.

BUT, I haven't seen how nice your kids are or well mannered (+/-)...for the success of the homed dog.
- if they are perfect angles around the dobe...I would think, NOT an issue
- IF NOT / just opening up another can of worms !!
I know less about the behavior of your children, than the dog...and therefore, my answer is ~~~with a grain of salt.
CAN it WORK - YESSSSSSSS, if your children...are on board...and are responsible.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Please don't risk it if you are not 110% confident and sure. A friend of mine recently adopted out an adult dog to a woman with young kids. The dog was already nervous around kids but the woman wanted to try. The dog ended up biting the kid in the face(because the kid was being a kid and was acting up around the dog) causing the need for plastic surgery. The dog is now dead when it could have perfectly thrived in a home without children. There are SO many dogs out there needing homes, I would go with a totally kid-tolerant one before trying out one you are unsure of and facing the worst consequences.
This is good (not good that a child was bitten but good info for me)! Thank you! Funny thing is as long as she is the one approaching them she will ask for pats all day long and even jump on their laps on the couch. And they really are very gentle with her but like you said, especially at 3 yrs. of age, there are times they are just kids and as hard as I try, they push boundaries!

Yup, she will be headed back to the breeder and we will wait on a puppy that can grow up with these 3 little monsters!
 

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i definitely wouldnt risk it. it wouldnt be fair to your kids or the dog. like others said, there are many dobes in need of homes that are not phased by how impulsive/loud/affectionate/clumbsy kids are. if your child wants to walk up and give your dog a gentle hug, you shouldnt have to worry about that. i believe the situation will end up stressing you out. in time, youll find the perfect addition to your family :)
 

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This is good (not good that a child was bitten but good info for me)! Thank you! Funny thing is as long as she is the one approaching them she will ask for pats all day long and even jump on their laps on the couch. And they really are very gentle with her but like you said, especially at 3 yrs. of age, there are times they are just kids and as hard as I try, they push boundaries!

Yup, she will be headed back to the breeder and we will wait on a puppy that can grow up with these 3 little monsters!
The thing is, this woman let her guard down around the dog. It all seemed great in the beginning and then she got to relaxed and that's when Dot took control.


Beginning:

"Dot is still doing great, we only had that one problem. She is the best thing that has happened to our family in a while. I am so happy we found her. "

1st bite:

"Well all has been going so well, until today. Dot bit a little boy. He has been at my house several times, and she has been barky, but leaves the boy alone. The boy doesnt like dogs so there has been no interaction between the two. I am so very upset. I don't know what to do. I am now scared that she will bit someone else. What should I do. My husband wants her gone immediately. Help please. She bit his nose and cheekk. Boy is ok, really scared now. The kid was talking to me in my bedroom, Dot was in another room, walked in quitely and just went over and bit him. I promise you I am very careful with Dot. As she is still new to our family, I introduce her several times before I just let her around anyone. Dot is and always was very aggressive towards or friends that are not here often. Up until today she has been relatively ok. One of my gfs came over last week and Dot was fine with her, she came over a little bit ago to help me with homework, and Dot lounged at her. I am so upset, I love my Dot, but can not keep her if she is going to act like this "

"I want to keep her so bad. I just don't think it possible. She is a great dog. I babysit this little boy 3 days a week. So she would be caged or crated that whole time. It just not fair to her. I really don't think that she would attack the baby, but if she did I would be so very upset that I dont know what I would do."

and the final straw:

"My dd was bit by my dog. I dont know if yall remember but I adopted Dot, the American bulldog. My dd was bit on the face. She received 40 stitches, and we go to see plastic surgeon on fri. I loved my Dot, but she was put down on sun. I feel like crap. I got a dog my dh was not sure we were ready form then I put my dd in harms way, and Dot had to be put down. I am super upset about the whole thing. My older girls were at their dads house for a lot of the summer. During that time it was only me Dot and the baby. We did everything together. The baby rode her, pulled her hair, poked her, feed her. Heck the watched tv together, and Gianna walked her. We had a lot of very good times together in a very short time. Dot was the dog that I searched high and low for. It was a great match until this. I am so very thankful that my daughter is ok. And yes she is way more important than the dog. I feel I did the right thing, but it was still hard. "
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
The thing is, this woman let her guard down around the dog. It all seemed great in the beginning and then she got to relaxed and that's when Dot took control.


Beginning:

"Dot is still doing great, we only had that one problem. She is the best thing that has happened to our family in a while. I am so happy we found her. "

1st bite:

"Well all has been going so well, until today. Dot bit a little boy. He has been at my house several times, and she has been barky, but leaves the boy alone. The boy doesnt like dogs so there has been no interaction between the two. I am so very upset. I don't know what to do. I am now scared that she will bit someone else. What should I do. My husband wants her gone immediately. Help please. She bit his nose and cheekk. Boy is ok, really scared now. The kid was talking to me in my bedroom, Dot was in another room, walked in quitely and just went over and bit him. I promise you I am very careful with Dot. As she is still new to our family, I introduce her several times before I just let her around anyone. Dot is and always was very aggressive towards or friends that are not here often. Up until today she has been relatively ok. One of my gfs came over last week and Dot was fine with her, she came over a little bit ago to help me with homework, and Dot lounged at her. I am so upset, I love my Dot, but can not keep her if she is going to act like this "

"I want to keep her so bad. I just don't think it possible. She is a great dog. I babysit this little boy 3 days a week. So she would be caged or crated that whole time. It just not fair to her. I really don't think that she would attack the baby, but if she did I would be so very upset that I dont know what I would do."

and the final straw:

"My dd was bit by my dog. I dont know if yall remember but I adopted Dot, the American bulldog. My dd was bit on the face. She received 40 stitches, and we go to see plastic surgeon on fri. I loved my Dot, but she was put down on sun. I feel like crap. I got a dog my dh was not sure we were ready form then I put my dd in harms way, and Dot had to be put down. I am super upset about the whole thing. My older girls were at their dads house for a lot of the summer. During that time it was only me Dot and the baby. We did everything together. The baby rode her, pulled her hair, poked her, feed her. Heck the watched tv together, and Gianna walked her. We had a lot of very good times together in a very short time. Dot was the dog that I searched high and low for. It was a great match until this. I am so very thankful that my daughter is ok. And yes she is way more important than the dog. I feel I did the right thing, but it was still hard. "
Wow! Well I will say that this dog differs greatly in that she is extremely accepting of anyone that walks in the door. In fact she is so friendly that I am not sure she would do a thing other than wag her nub if a complete stranger walked into our home while we were gone!! So she has NO aggression issues whatsoever with adults. That is why I am somewhat surprised how she is with the kiddos. She seems to have a stellar temperament otherwise!
 

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There are lots and lots of dogs in rescues that would be more than happy to be loved up in your home by yourself and your kids! Five years old is a tough age for a dog to be at and adjust to small children and I'll throw my vote in with the others who have commented and say that there is definitely a great dog out there for you but this one isn't it. If I were you I'd try to find a pup between about 5mo and a year who has been well socialized and isn't showing any behavioural difficulties so that you don't have to try to parent three kids AND have a wee puppy to take care of too! :)
 
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As someone who works with rescue, we would not adopt that dog into your family. If she's already showing discomfort the risk is high. Additionally, you may want to teach your kids not too hug dogs (especially dogs they don't know really, really well). Hugging is uncomfortable to most dogs. Many will tolerate it but it's not something that kids should ever do with an unfamiliar dog.

I will echo the statement that there are SO many rescue dogs out there who have lived with kids and would be happy to find a family with them.
 
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Rode her, pulled her hair, poked her??? Tragedy the kid got bit when it sounds like the parent is the one who deserved it.
This is a stellar example of every dog has a limit. Why in the hell would an adult (obviously a stupid one) allow a child to harass and abuse a dog. I think they put the wrong animal down.

This is why small children, oblivious adults and dogs don't mix. No offense to the dog.......
 

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It sounds as if the right decision has been made, and with a wonderful understanding that, even though we wish it were true, there are parents that realize kids will be kids and that not all dogs are created to be around kids. I think the best combination of a dog and a child are ones that grow up together, and can learn how to act around each other together. Learn each others boundaries and tolerances while growing. This is not license to be abusive to a dog, however, a puppy is much more forgiving than an adult that is not accustomed to small children.

I hope you find the perfect puppy for your family, and I hope that the dober gal finds her perfect forever home as well.
 
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