Are you your Doberman's "mom/dad"?

I think my mum is our dog's "mum" too. She is ruler of the food, boss of the house, everyone listens to what she says and both dogs are submissive towards her and won't put a foot wrong around her, they are also the same to my grandmother who lives with my parents, but then again everyone is cautious around my grandmother! Lottie loves the men in our house, but she doesn't really listen to them, they are there for play fighting and cuddles. I think I am Lottie's "person", when I go home to the farm (I don't live with my parents & Lottie anymore), Lottie is with me constantly and she listens to me over everyone else... if she is going to do something naughty I just have to glance at her with the right face (angry lol) and she stops in her tracks. When I am not home she seems to spread her love equally between my mum and my aunty who lives there at the moment.

ETA: I have no problem calling myself "mum" in relation to Lottie, and at work (boarding kennels) I always refer to people as their dog's "mum" or "dad"

I am known as "Mom/Mommy/Ma/Mama", my husband is known as "Dad/Daddy" and we call Zeus a mirade of pet names, including "Baby", "Buddy", "Sweetie", "Muffin", and "Crazy Dog" just to name a few.

The manner of referring to people as familial titles started with my first dog (Domino). We adopted her when I was twelve years old or so, and we would refer to any person in the house depending on what their relationship would be to Domino were she a human child - mommy, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, etc., etc.. It would seem strange for me as a kid to say to Domino, "Go to [enter my parent's name]". I carried this approach with me when working with horses over the years, and now apply it to Mr. Zeus. He doesn't seem to mind.

However, I would be lying if I said there was NO projection going on. We have no children, and do not plan to, so my maternal tendencies are satisfied by dotting on Zeus. However, I am constantly reminded that he is indeed a dog, I am a mere human and while we do get along very well and try extremely hard to understand one another, it only succeeds 90% of the time. I cannot get inside his head, and he cannot get inside mine. I cannot talk "dog", and he cannot talk "human", no matter how hard we try. But we get by as best as to two members of separate species possibly can.

IMHO, either extreme stance on this issue - thinking that the dog IS your literal human child on four legs with some extra fur and a tail, OR that a dog is simply a beast of burden with no emotions, cannot think or share in any experiences that a human can and must be controlled, dominated, maniuplated, etc. - are just that, extremes. As long as you know the dog is a dog, love them for who and WHAT they are, and try not to make them into something they aren't, you should be fine. But then again, what do I know?

Heidi-G said:

I think this is an interesting thread.

In our household our dogs certainly have a mommy & daddy in us. They know the difference between the names as well. Additionally I will add that my mother & mother in law both refer to themselves as "Grandma" to Heidi & Otto.

Now if you want to think it's weird how I bet the majority of us that are moms & dads to our dogs refer to ourselves in 3rd person.....I'm with you. I have no idea why we all do that. lol

Click to expand...

Oh I don't think it's weird--it's quite common actually from what I've seen. I said it weirds me out to be referred to that way by others since that's not the relationship that I view myself to have with my dog.

I did have to chuckle at the "he even knows us as that" sort of thought though. Of course he does if that's how you refer to yourself right? My dog knows "where's [my name]" as well.

Heidi-G said:

When I first read what the OP said, I was thinking to myself, "person" really? But I guess there are a bunch out there that do not consider themselves mom or dad to their dogs.

Click to expand...

Yep--very different words, but I do think the emotion is the same. I know that *most* people who refer to themselves as mom/dad aren't actually confused about what their dogs actually are. I don't think we have proper words in the English language to convey what our pets are to us, and the closest relationship that we can compare it to is the care giving mother/father role even though we know that's not quite right either.

I know when I explained how personal the phrase "my dog" is to me, many were surprised. I don't have many people/things that I would refer to as "mine" like that. I have two people that I consider "my friends". I have a lot of acquaintances, but "my friends" are ones that I have close and deep relationships with. I have an immediate family that is mine--I'm very protective of them. For me, *my dog* says thousands of unsaid things...my friend, my confidant, my buddy, my best friend, my companion, my partner....