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Da Boss
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3,492 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman fiend - come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill us all-
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot
Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss -
well, maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

Dig under fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more - I call
Them a vocation.

My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet. I blow a big one.

The cat is not all
Bad - she fill the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

Are you gonna to eat that?
You gonna eat that?
I could eat that!!

This really made me giggle...especially the part where everything has come to kill us all. Reminds me of Brandy "alerting" us to all the dangers of the neighborhood. Enjoy! :D
 

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Registered
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12,009 Posts
2 daily favorites here...from Amy:

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Are you gonna to eat that?
You gonna eat that?
I could eat that!!

Thks. for sharing a great canine funny...how true.
 

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Maximus Odin Aurelius
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549 Posts
My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet. I blow a big one.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Absoluely can relate to these two! "Major Moochimus" is his dinner time name. :hungry:
 
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