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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, I hope it's okay to post this here. I started to post under the Doberman Rescue Thread but I think it's better to start a new post.

As a few of you know I have a female dobe, 2-years of age. She is a beautiful girl. However, as I stated under the rescue thread I think that in the best interest of the dog I should find her a new home. BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, please understand that this is a very hard thing to do. I have struggled with this decision for some time.

I have been doing as much research and talking to trainers as I can considering my busy schedule. I reallize I am not a good match for this breed. She is true to her breed and requires a lot of attention, exercise, displine and consistency. This is a smart dog. She has so much potential.

I will admit I am not a good owner. I should not have agreed to take her when an ex presented her to me as a gift. (He gave her to me for the wrong reasons, I accepted her for the wrong reasons. I thought it would be cool to own a dobe.) I know a little about dobes but the thing she needs most is the thing I have least - TIME. I am almost never home, lack patience and I am not dominant/firm enough with her. I find it cruel to leave her in a cage 10 hours a day. I DO try to get walks in but most of the time I am home just long enough to let her out, give her some food and then put her back in the cage. Is it any wonder she cries and paces?

I have asked friends, neighbors and family to help but they are just as busy OR they are willing to help with the little dog but not the big dog because she is "harded to handle". It frustrates me but when I first got her I was home more, my mother stayed with me and could help (but even she told me she was too big for her to handle for walks even on a gentle leader) and I put her in training. But now my schedule has changed. The last time I did an 8-week course we missed half of them due to my schedule. I think she KNOWS. She acts like she is depressed. I know they say dogs don't have human emotions but she seems very sad.

I noticed on some other threads that people got mad that an owner could give up a dog that is older and said how cruel it was. But isn't it cruel to keep her locked up in a cage all day? Isn't just as cruel to yell at her in frustration because you are tired and she just wants to go for a walk late at night?

I understand that when you accept a pet you accept a huge responsibility. And I was wrong to have accepted her. I thought I could handle it. Wouldn't it be better to find her a new home, a BETTER home? One where she gets the attention, discipline, consistency and exercise that she needs?

I will tell anyone who is interested in her EVERYTHING about her. I will give them all of her medical records. I want her to be happy and placed in the RIGHT home. Please let me know what I should do.

Sincerely,
Renee
P.S. I do NOT want her to go to a foster home. How many times do we read that dobes have separation anxiety issues? I think it would be best if she goes from this home directly to her new home. Please help me find her a GOOD home.
 

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I do hope you find Lexi a great new home you are putting her needs before your own which is better than what some people do.
Good Luck
Patches Mom
 

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Actually hats off to you for recognizing your part in the error of getting Lexi. Then acting upon it with the best interest of the dog. The research you have been doing and talking to trainers is great and as you said unfortunately this wasn't done prior to accepting the gift of a dobie. There are allot of people in this world who never say there sorry and they are always right, and never acknowledge there mistakes. It would be wrong of you or anyone to just carry on and keep the dog under the circumstances you describe. I don't think your being a bad owner you now are being a good one. You on the other hand are doing something positive about it. Knowing what is best and being logical is hard, especially when the emotions kick in and rock the boat. You are not the only one this has happened to nor will you be the last unfortunately. In reference to the posting on the older dog If I remember correctly the statements were mainly because it was quite old and the chances of it being adopted were close to nil. Your Lexi is only two still a very young dog, just coming out of her puppy Rambo stage. There are allot of breeders out there once there bitch or stud becomes a certain age, and they have been within that home for the most part since birth or close to it, sell them to make room for the new breeding program. Yet some people look at that as if it is the norm. Who is to say, that is a whole nother area to get into and I am going to stay on tract with your issue, that relates to you. I feel for you in this hard decision you have made and I strongly hope you will remember when you see a cute little dog of any breed and say no I can't have it because of all the reasons you stated in your posting. Maybe someday things will change and you will be able to welcome a dog into your home if you are able to be at home more and spend time with your four legged friend. Good luck with finding Lexi a forever home.
 

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awww Im so sorry :( I agree with Waiting it must be hard to make such a choice but good you recognized it.
Is there a dobe rescue you can contact by you? Be very careful finding her a home on your own. and I wouldnt give anyone a dog over the internet. If you want to find the best home for her a rescue will be able to make sure her transition is smooth and a suitable family is screened.

Is she spayed? if not...if you find a home for her make sure YOU take the time to get her spayed...You dont want her to suddenly be producing puppies like crazy or something.

Im so sorry it didnt work out. But your right. It is better for her quality of life to have a family that can spend more time with her. Who knows maybe you can visit her once and awhile in her new home :)

But if you let us know where about you are located...I only know of Illinois Doberman Rescue www.ildoberescue.com but other members know how to put you in contact with other doberman rescues. :)
 

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P.S. I do NOT want her to go to a foster home. How many times do we read that dobes have separation anxiety issues? I think it would be best if she goes from this home directly to her new home. Please help me find her a GOOD home.
That is a hard decision.
Dobes certainly require a lot of work and aren't the breed for everyone. I know doggie daycare helps with some of that extra energy for some owners. My Dobes don't have separation anxiety issues, they enjoy time with their humans very much and need human interaction, but are fine being left alone when needed for short periods of time.
I want to let you know foster homes aren't a "bad thing". Sometimes foster homes turn into forever homes as well:) Also, Doberman specific rescues can usually do a really good placement for a new forever home b/c they are so skilled with the breed and have LOTS of experience working with the public and matching owners to Dobes. Giving her to a well respected Dobe rescue would be a good choice.
 
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I am sorry about what you are going through....but you are being a good dog owner. You are doing what is right for your beautiful girl. You are not giving her up when she is a senior at the end of her life, she is still very young. I have done the same thing twice. It was with young puppies,7 month old lab and a 6 month old lab/dobie mix, but I knew in my heart I couldn't give them the home they deserved , I had human babies, and they were more dog then I expected. I made a mistake and corrected it. They both went to people who thanked me many times over for the gift. This is what you are doing. Contact a rescue, you want her to go into a home, even if it is a foster home, they can best determine who she should be adopted by. You don't want her to go to someone who will also give her up. Someone out there is about to become a very lucky Doberparent....and they will be thankful to you too. On the other side, my last three dogs were rescues, Howard was a German Short-haired Pointer that I got at around 11 or 12 years old from the animal shelter, he was running loose, I had him for close to 5 years....what a PITA...but the stories we now have to tell!!! Uno a Weimaraner was 17 months old when I got him, loved him like one of my kids until he died of cancer in October and Mason was also a Weimaraner, who had epilepsy, cursed the prior owners for not telling me the truth, but kept him anyway...and truly loved him to the core, the sweetest dog I've ever owned. He died only on January 2nd of this year, he went into seizures and the vet couldn't stop them, he had so many that his temp went over 107 for 6 hours, it completely destroyed his brain. One of the saddest days I've ever had. Masons time with me truly was a gift, I am now thankful that I had him for the years I did, he taught me about love and patience, because dealing with seizures is very hard on the caregiver, I do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Good luck...it isn't an easy thing you are doing, but it is the right thing.

Carol
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Actually hats off to you for recognizing your part in the error of getting Lexi. Then acting upon it with the best interest of the dog. I feel for you in this hard decision you have made and I strongly hope you will remember when you see a cute little dog of any breed and say no I can't have it because of all the reasons you stated in your posting. Maybe someday things will change and you will be able to welcome a dog into your home if you are able to be at home more and spend time with your four legged friend. Good luck with finding Lexi a forever home.
Thank you for your kind words. It is VERY hard and every time I look at her I get choked up. I feel horrible but I have to remind myself she isn't doing good in this situation and that is why this has to be done. She has such potential and I just know if she's placed with the right home she'll do wonderful. There will be no more pets for me for some time if ever. It will be too hard to remember my Lexi girl. Thanks again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I want to let you know foster homes aren't a "bad thing". Sometimes foster homes turn into forever homes as well:) Also, Doberman specific rescues can usually do a really good placement for a new forever home b/c they are so skilled with the breed and have LOTS of experience working with the public and matching owners to Dobes. Giving her to a well respected Dobe rescue would be a good choice.

Are you sure? It scares me to think she will go to the foster home and get "lost" among the other dogs and have more problems. She likes being the center of attention. She can't handle my attention else where, not even with the TV, sometimes. She is an indoor dog, too, so she won't do well left outside in a kennel. How can I be sure the foster home will be good to her? She's very sensitive and emotional.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I am sorry about what you are going through....but you are being a good dog owner. You are doing what is right for your beautiful girl. You are not giving her up when she is a senior at the end of her life, she is still very young. I have done the same thing twice. Good luck...it isn't an easy thing you are doing, but it is the right thing.

Carol
How did you get through this? I cry whenever I think about it but then I'm so busy I feel like I forget and I feel ashamed. She is just a big ball of love. Will she ever forgive me for this?
 

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Are you sure? It scares me to think she will go to the foster home and get "lost" among the other dogs and have more problems. She likes being the center of attention. She can't handle my attention else where, not even with the TV, sometimes. She is an indoor dog, too, so she won't do well left outside in a kennel. How can I be sure the foster home will be good to her? She's very sensitive and emotional.
A lot of people have multi dog households, so if she went to a foster home with other dogs, it would only benefit her in helping her learn to adapt to sharing time and space. A foster home involved with Doberman rescue will know the neediness of a dobie too, and I really don't think a good rescue would foster to someone that would keep a dog outside in a kennel, that negates the purpose of the foster home in the first place.

You can always contact Doberman Rescue and keep her at your house until they find potential adopters also.
 

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How did you get through this? I cry whenever I think about it but then I'm so busy I feel like I forget and I feel ashamed. She is just a big ball of love. Will she ever forgive me for this?
Yes....and she will always remember you too! My Weim Uno was devastated when I got him,missed his mommy and daddy, but soon got velcroed to me, to the point of obsession, his prior owners didn't have time for him, both worked full time, and were in the process of divorcing, they also had his older brother and his mom. He was never taken anywhere or socialized. I was more then happy to have him join my life, I had a fantastic 8 years with him. Every so often he would get to see his prior parents....and he would go nuts with joy! But when it was time to go....he went with me!!! Never a question in his mind who was his owner. The last week of his life, I invited his prior owners over to say goodbye to him, and they came, it was so wonderful that he still had them in his life, and it brought him some joy those last days when he was so sick with cancer. I loved that dog completely....and if they hadn't given him up, he wouldn't have had the great life that he did being my dog, which is kind of like landing in heaven! Your baby WILL find new people who will adore her, and she will be fine! I know this in my heart. I've been on both ends and it has always turned out great. Screw GUILT!

Carol oxoxoxox
 

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Good for you for being adult enough to appreciate that you don't have the time needed to give your girl what she needs. What area of the country are you in as there might be someone on the forum who might be interested in meeting you and Lexi and, if it's a good fit, might be willing to adopt her. Contacting a rescue is your best bet. Good luck and please know that you are doing the right thing for Lexi.
 

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ReneeS, please consider a rescue, let us know what area you are in and maybe someone can help you find a respectable one that is trustworthy. A rescue will find a good home, one that will fit your dog and your dog will fit into. You could look and maybe find a home but most likely you will be at a disadvantage to be able to check out where your girl would go. Once she leaves your home you don't know what situation she would be in and I know you don't want that.

A Doberman rescue will do what is best for him/her and will find a good home with stipulations that will always keep the dog's best interest in mind.

Good luck and best wishes with doing the right thing with her and I am glad you are thinking on what is best for her.
 

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Are you sure? It scares me to think she will go to the foster home and get "lost" among the other dogs and have more problems.
A foster home is basically a family. They live in a regular house with a regular family and Im sure are required to have the time and space for the dobe they will be fostering. A foster family will love Lexi as their own and they make it possible for Lexi to stay comfortably and happily in a home environment while waiting for her family to adopt her. People that foster dobes and any dog are doing it because they absolutely love dogs and cause they want to help. They don't ever HAVE to foster a dog...they just want to. and they will get attached to Lexi just like you did and they will love her and feel sad but happy when they have to leave to go to her real home.
The rescue knows what kind of family each doberman would be good for and will make sure they are qualified owners. Application, Interviews, Home Visits. They don't just let anyone that "THINK" they can take in a dobe and leave it at that. THey want to ENSURE they are putting each doberman in a responsible home.

I say call them...talk to them...once you talk to them Im sure you'll feel better about the situation.

and again if the rescue is close...and the home she finds is close...maybe you can visit her :) or you can send her little goodies by mail :)
 

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Are you sure? It scares me to think she will go to the foster home and get "lost" among the other dogs and have more problems. She likes being the center of attention. She can't handle my attention else where, not even with the TV, sometimes. She is an indoor dog, too, so she won't do well left outside in a kennel. How can I be sure the foster home will be good to her? She's very sensitive and emotional.
Dang it. I just wrote this long message and it got deleted. :cry:

Yes, I am sure. Good Doberman rescues know Dobermans very well, they know the breeds tendencies and quirks and are skilled at handling each one in a way that is best for the dog. Most ALL dogs like attention, most Dobermans enjoy being the center of attention, esp. when they haven’t received enough attention and need some exercise.
This is not unique, so don’t worry about that part, reputable Doberman rescues want to be fair to the dog above all else. They exist for the benefit of the Dobermans and have the individual dog’s best interest in mind. They care deeply about the breed and finding that perfect forever home.

And in many instances, they have dealt with the public long enough to know how to match the Dobermans and future owners up very well. It isn’t easy screening homes, people oftentimes lie, and giving her to a Doberman rescue would be more responsible than screening potential adopters yourself. They really make an effort to insure the new home is the best for the dog and have procedures and policies in place to protect the dog.
Many Doberman rescues have foster programs out of homes, so the dog benefits from the home environment in a more individualized setting. She will not get “lost” among the other dogs.
Also, sometimes foster homes end up being “forever” homes. I know this has happened to at least one or two members of this board. Most foster homes volunteer to foster out of the love of their hearts for the Doberman breed, they really take great care in taking care of the foster dog and helping them live a good life.

As an added benefit, she can learn more socialization skills as well if she needs them. I fostered a dog recently for a short time that was basically dumped by its owners (not a Dobe) that didn’t have much experience with other dogs and people. That dog really enjoyed playing with my dogs; it was like everyday was doggie daycare. That benefited both the dog and the future owners.

Another important benefit of Doberman rescue is that they always take the dog back for the life of the dog. If circumstances change and the person can no longer keep the Doberman, they will take the dog back at any time. This really protects Lexi and has her best interest at heart. That way she always has a good place to go.
Additionally, good Dobe rescues are always a phone call away or e-mail for any issues or problems that may arise. This also has Lexi’s best interest in mind as owners have lifetime support and sometimes if they live close enough hands on training and assistance. I know some Dobe rescues have annual picnics too, which are pretty neat to attend for the owners.

Also, the rescues have the Dobermans vet checked and treat any issues, which also benefits the dog and future owner.
 

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You have said you want your dog to have a BETTER home. There is nothig wrong with you wanting that for her. The important part is that what she gets *is* a better home, and not something worse.

Unfortunately, that is the tricky part. It's hard to know who is a good home. That's why getting help from a good Doberman breed rescue is the best way to go. They place dogs all the time. They know the breed, they use contracts to ensure that they can get the dogs back if the contract isn't met.

There is nothing wrong with a foster home, in fact it is better than having her waiting in a kennel somewhere for someone to adopt her. I have fostered Dobermans and cats, and in fact I have a foster cat right now. She is currently hanging out in my bedroom with the door open because she doesn't like my cats, but she is getting more used to them. IOW she is treated just as my own pets are. The people who foster Dobermans for the Doberman rescues do it because they want to help the dogs. While a dog is in a foster home, the foster parent can learn about its personality and what if any training it might need before adoption.

Separation anxiety means a dog who can't handle it when its owner leaves it, such as for the day to go to work, it doesn't really refer to the dog leaving its current home to go to a foster home. Dogs are capable of adjusting to more than one or two homes, providing they are loved and treated well in all of them. In fact, this is how the guide dogs for the blind are raised, they go thru at least three "homes" before being matched up with their blind owner.

Advertising a dog over the internet is probably the worst way to try to rehome it. It's worse than your local newspaper because it reaches the entire world, you can't meet the people who say they want the dog, you don't know if they're telling the truth, and just because people are on a Doberman forum, doesn't mean they are all great people and/or won't take advantage of your dog. I've seen it happen that people lied over an internet list to get a dog, got it, and eventually dumped it. Luckily for the dog, a rescue group retrieved it from the pound where it ended up.

So IMO your best bet for the sake of the dog is a Doberman rescue. If you don't know of one in your area, you can look on the Doberman Club site, at www.dpca.org or tell the group here what area you live in and someone can probably refer you.
 

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Please go with a rescue their are people out there that read the newspaper ads & internet ads go to homes and talk like they are the best dog owners in the world. In reality the are out to find dogs to be bait dogs for their Pit Bulls. A bait dog sometimes has its mouth duck taped shut and the Pit Bulls used for fighting are turned loose on the helpless dog. Also If Lexi is not spayed they are people that look for females unsprayed to use as puppy machines.
Rescues know all about the above know how to screen against those type of people rescue is the best way to go for Lexi.
Patches Mom
 

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Check out the rescue I volunteer at. Look at the adoption link and check out the contract. Southwest Ohio Doberman Rescue is about 20 minutes east of Cincinnati. http://www.swohiodoberescue.org/index.html
I had to jump thru quite a few hoops to be accepted by the rescue. (I adopted Rudi from Hand Me Down Dobes in Columbus, Ohio) Rudi was found as a skinny stray and the rescue made a perfect match between us. 6/5/07 will be our 2 year anniversary!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Okay, here's an update. I am quite baffled. I wrote this big long email to a doberman rescue and they responded by suggesting I call them which I did. The lady I spoke to was extremely nice but I got this feelling she was giving me pointers on different things I should try versus giving up the dog. She said everything I was writing about is just what the breed does and wasn't out of the ordinary and that I just had a dog with a very high prey drive. She suggested such things like a pincher or prong collar and taking the dog to doggie day care. I can't afford doggie day care, not even once a week. She said I could send in a bio on the dog with the good and the bad and some pictures and I would be on what I'd call a referral program.

Then a friend suggested I try one in Indiana and I called. Again I got a VERY nice person who spent several minutes chatting with me and this person again gave me pointers. She said dogs don't keep count or track of the time you spend with them. It's more the quality of time you spend with them. She did take my information and said she would call back but again I hung up feeling even more confused about this. She also said that for some dogs 2-years of age is like the teenage years for a dog.

Maybe I overreacted and jumped the gun on this? I mean, are they saying that spending time in a cage isn't all that bad if I work with her for only 15 minutes a day?

Since Lexi seems to get really bad gas when she eats fast I decided that it was just as easy to use her food like a treat and make her do her commands in order to get fed. It goes pretty fast - about 10 minutes at best - but when I get done she goes and gets a drink and then I let her outside. She seems okay with this.

Am I fooling myself into thinking this will work out after all? What do you think about the prong collar? There is one other weird thing I've noticed lately but I have to go. I'll ask about it later. Let me know what you think!
 
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