Zipper has left me
It's been a week and a half, and I'm still not sure I can write this. My good girl Zipper is gone. She was with me for 6 years and spent that entire time trying to find new and interesting ways to kill herself. She was THE dumbest dog that ever walked the earth, but also the sweetest, and I spent the last 6 years trying to "save" her from herself. She never went outside to potty without me at her side, watching her every move, to make sure she didn't gorge on dried weeds or sticks or rotted dead animals the cats had killed and left for her. She refused to wear a muzzle. When I put it on her, she just stood still and wouldn't move. Same thing with her coat and booties. Her feet would freeze in the winter, but she would NOT wear her booties. She was the highest maintenance dog I've ever known, but I loved her more than any of the others. She would let me do anything with her and never complained, even when it was something awful (and there was some awful stuff sometimes when she'd get sick).
This last time, I thought it was just another case of gastric distress, so I did all my usual treatment for that, but she didn't pull out of it. Then the watery diarrhea started, and we took her to the vet to see what the heck was wrong with her THIS time. They couldn't figure it out, either. She had x-rays and ultrasounds, they gave her IV fluids and antibiotics (we were thinking maybe some kind of infection), but nothing worked, and she stopped eating. Zipper had never refused to eat IN HER LIFE, so I knew something was terribly wrong. Unfortunately, we never found out exactly what it was.
She stayed at the hospital for a few days getting more intensive care than I could give her at home, but we finally had to make the decision to send her Across the Bridge. If we could have just figured out what was WRONG! It was the most gut-wrenching thing I've had to go through in a loooong time. She was scared, and that tore me up, but I held her tight and told her how much I loved her (I'm glad I'm not saying this out loud because I'm bawling like a baby again), and the last thing she knew was that Mom was hugging her and that Mom loved her more than anything. And then she went to sleep.
I am devastated. If she'd shown any improvement, or offered to eat even a tiny little tidbit, I would have brought her home and continued trying to make her better, but she was halfway gone already, and there was nothing else I could do. I'd spent the previous week sleeping with her on the couch so I could get up as soon as she moved, and take her outside if she needed, and I wasn't eating because I was so busy worrying about her... and now I have all this spare time and I'm just standing around feeling lost. It's not a good feeling.
I know this will pass, but it's taking a long time, and I just needed to get this off my chest. I know you guys will understand every word I wrote. Most people tell me, "It was just a dog, dogs die all the time," but it was NOT just a dog, it was the Zipster, my constant companion and pain in my ass.
But oh, how I loved her.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know the ache all too well.
I am sorry for your loss.
May peace return to your life soon.
Oh so sorry for your pain and loss. Run free little Zipper.
Throughs and prayers To you Lannie .
I am so sorry for your loss.
Your information panel rips me apart:
Dogs Name: Zipper, Cody, Shogie, Thor, Ninja
Titles: All of them are angels now
It is so hard when they leave us; it never gets any easier.
They bring such joy into our lives. One day you'll be able to remember the time you spent together and smile, but right now, it's time to cry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. I think the pain never lessens......you just get used to it.
I am so sorry for your loss. They really do take a part of us.
I'm so sorry for your loss. :crying:
I'm so sorry.
So sorry. Most of us have been there too and truly know where your at. It will get better, but you will never truly forget her. Their quirks stick with you always.
So sorry for your loss of Zipper - it is clear that she was very loved. :crying:
Real sorry to hear this news.......and YEP....we do understand.......more than you know.
Let yourself experience the grief.........cry or scream if you have to ........its part of the process.
And .....No...... you will never forget Zipper......but you have learned to love something .....to love something more than you ever thought you could.........that is an experience you can apply to everything else in your life now.
So hoping you will have peace when it's time........we all love you and yours!
Oh no! They are never "just a dog". They are your dog--through good times and bad even if they don't have much of a brain--they know how to love.
So sorry you lost Zipper--it's harder, I think, when you never are able to figure out what was going on with her so you don't know if you and her vet were doing the right thing.
Makes no difference now--Zipper is gone, where the good dogs go to feel good again and to run and play--we've all got dogs there to keep her company--and it won't matter about her brain there either--maybe she'll get a new one.
For you, time is the only thing that helps you--but in time you'll remember all the good things, the funny things, the dumb things that made you laugh...and maybe she'll send along her summer replacement--sometimes that happens too.
My condolences on the loss of your beloved Zipper. :crying:
I am sorry for your loss and the pain that you are going through. RIP Zipper
Ahh Iím so sorry to hear about Zipper - it sounds like she was a wonderfully stubborn and independent girl! I know your pain all too well, it just breaks my heart when any of us have to say goodbye to a wonderful doggy soul. Sending you all the best wishes and thoughts and puppy prayers <3
Thanks so much, you guys. I knew you'd understand that losing ANY dog is painful, but a sweet Dobe is so much harder. Why are they so different? I'll bet none of us could put it into words, but there's just something *more* about a Dobe. The saddest part of all this is that Zipper was my last one. It was a miracle that we found her in the first place, considering where we live, and at my age, I'm getting a bit creaky and not able to keep up with a healthy young one that much anymore. Zipper was old like me, so we kinda moved at the same speed, and that was OK. :)
Dobebug, your post made me smile. Get a new brain. LOL! My husband and I used to joke about Zip only having three working brain cells. One for barking, one for eating, and one for spinning in circles. Those were the things she did best. But there was one more, I think. The brain cell for love, and it was a big one. I miss so much not having her lie in front of the couch while I'm crapped out watching a movie, my one arm across her shoulder or stroking the top of her head. And if we had a storm, or she was nervous about anything, she'd back up tight against me so I could lean forward and give her a whole-body hug. She gave good hugs.
I know you all already know these things, I'm just rambling, and I'm only doing it because I know I can, here. Because your boys and girls do the same things. I have plenty of things to distract me, however, and for that I'm grateful. There are some new kittens in the house, and a new calf out in the barn, and the remaining house dog, Missy, to try to help get over her own grief.
Speaking of that, hubby and I had to leave yesterday to go to town to see the dentist, and Missy apparently thought we were going to visit Zipper again, and was literally throwing herself at the door, screaming to go with us. I finally yelled at her to back up, and she wouldn't, which is SO not like her. She's normally extremely obedient, but she was NOT going to be left home. I decided it was best to take her with us, so she could see that we weren't actually going to visit Zipper. I guess we'll be taking her with us the next few times we go anywhere, until she gets the message that Zipper is not going to come home, ever. Zipper might have been the dumbest dog I've ever known, but Missy is the smartest (she's a Malinois cross), and she challenges me every day to out-think her. So it's not like I have nothing to do, and eventually, my bouts of melancholy and weepiness will get less and less. I want to remember Zipper and smile, not get all blubbery and start crying every time. Zipper would be sad that I'm sad.
And life goes on.
Lannie , itís not ramble , itís talking from your heart , I think I can say , that we all enjoy hearing about ZIP , I know I do .
I'm sorry for your lost. Good thoughts and well wishes are being sent your way.
Keep writing.......it's good for you to express these feelings in any place that you are comfortable.
It's not rambling--it's sharing the story of a life with your dog and what it's like now.
I ramble (I just call them stories and tell people that I'm good at telling stories. Since you are living in the wilds of South Dakota I'll tell you a South Dakota story. But it's about Dobemans too. I was born in South Dakota but mostly didn't live there--my folks moved to Seattle when I was 2 or maybe 3 but I spent summers with my grandmother in South Dakota and one memorable winter when I had so many bouts of pneumonia they had my mother send me back to South Dakota (where it was a lot colder but drier.
But when I was very small and before we moved to Seattle I met my very first Doberman--a red dog who I learned later had a major league reputation as the only dog who could out hunt and out retrieve pheasant better than the Setters could. I only really remember that the Dobe was taller than I was and he was very warm and liked to be petted. I also remember that my grandmother (who didn't yell at people) yelled at my grandfather about letting me near that bad dog.
Much later when I got my first Doberman my mother wanted to know if I remembered the big red dog--I remembered the dog but had no idea of the breed--what the heck does a two year old know? Not much.
My home area in South Dakota was in the heart of wheat and pheasant country--Redfield, the County seat of Spink County, SD.
So very, very sorry for your loss. They are just never with us long enough! Sleep softly sweet Zipper!
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