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  Topic Review (Newest First)
09-10-2019 03:01 PM
ECIN This is not the first time we have been threw one of these deals , as sad as that is , yet , Mr B is taken it the worst , I took off early to come play with him , he always meets me when Iím taken off my work boots , he stayed in the house , now thatís a first since heís been here .

Your all right about waiting , I may have hit the panic button , but I was upset seeing my little buddy in this shape .

Allison , donít worry about posting up pictures l have always admired your Dobers just glad to see you back on here !

Well , better check on B
09-10-2019 02:42 PM
dax0402 My heart is breaking for Mr. Business and you and your wife. All I can say is just keep moving forward and all of sudden there she will be. Maybe when you least expect it!
09-10-2019 02:38 PM
Lannie I agree with what everyone else has said about giving it some time. When the right one comes along, you'll know it, but she won't come along UNTIL it's the right time. Just relax and enjoy Mr. B's company.

I'm having the same problem with the grieving survivor dog, but my survivor was never as close to me as Zip was, so it's hard for both of us. I'd like her to sit next to me and cuddle, but she's just not a cuddler. She spends most of her time alone. I have been taking her squeaky, Mr. Porky (he's a porcupine), out and throwing it for her, but I'm having the same problem, she (I'm talking about Missy, the O.D.) will run after it, but 9 times out of 10 she just stops and doesn't even bring it back once. I'm getting plenty of exercise running after HER toy, though...

I finally decided to just try to go "back to normal" as much as possible. I'm not fawning over Missy or trying too hard to get her to spend time with me, just appreciating when she does and telling her how much I love her as much as I can. That's all I can do right now. I know every situation is different, but so far that seems to be working for us, so maybe it can work for you, too. In a while. Right now it's still too raw, I know.

I wish we were neighbors. We could help each other with farm chores, and sit and have coffee and talk about our dogs.
09-10-2019 01:56 PM
LadyDi Give yourself some time.......you will know when its right...you always do.
09-10-2019 01:56 PM
alan j. These things take time and time the cure for what everyone is feeling.
As for Kadin , you and your wife are the most important thing in his life.
It is always said on this site that good things come for those that have the patience to wait and i am sure you know this!
Hang in there buddy.
09-10-2019 01:29 PM
allisonJ
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post
Oh yeah ! Ali was the BOSS



I am afraid of putting two males together , now John and Bug Russell can do it and get along fine , but I not them



Just thought it might be safer with a female .



Doc


Iím so Sorry for posting the M&M photo on this thread about your grief. I Forgot some basic DT rules itís been a while. [emoji2360]


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09-10-2019 01:21 PM
allisonJ Thatís right, they do not live together nor have they spent more than 3 consecutive days together in the last year. I hope I never have to witness that kind of scene!


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09-10-2019 01:16 PM
dobebug
Quote:
Originally Posted by allisonJ View Post
I am so sorry for your loss. So you for sure donít want another male? Was your female the alpha out of your two dogs? Was she the boss of him? Asking bc thatís the situation over here with moose and Mina. She def tells him what to do everyday! We think he gets tired of it but he always goes back for more. M&M play good together and love each other but He plays so much better with his brothers. they come over to stay for a couple of days at a time and they basically just sprint around the yard and play wrestle all day and wear themselves out. Everyone warned me about having 2 males together but moose and his 3 brothers love being with each other and we never have any issues. Mina on the other hand likes to be the boss of ALL of them. Maybe itís a female thing. Hope you get some relief soon and canít wait to see pics of your next dog. Thinking about you and your wife during this difficult time. Hugs from TX.
Hey AJ,

Even though Moose plays very well with his brothers they are still relatively young dogs--and his brothers don't live with him 24/7. The thing to remember with multiple males is that everything can be just fine until it isn't. And John can tell you about having dogs who always got along and were the best of friends until one day one of them tried to kill the other and it became a matter of rotating two males who couldn't even tolerate seeing each other.

It can work with multiple males--it has for me and some of that I regard as just plain luck. But I've also seen the results of it not working and I think having a male and female if you only have two is much safer.

Just saying...

dobebug


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09-10-2019 01:00 PM
dobebug
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post
Oh yeah ! Ali was the BOSS

I am afraid of putting two males together , now John and Bug Russell can do it and get along fine , but I not them

Just thought it might be safer with a female .

Doc
Kenny,

Even though I have kept multiple males (Dobes and occasionally another breed) for years I always qualify that fact with the additional fact that I've had some exceptional circumstances that have made it work for me and I don't recommend it for most.

But I'm with MeadowCat--don't be in a rush to get a companion when what you have had in the past and probably want again, is a well bred puppy who can grow into her place in the family. Yes, her--she'll grow up and boss Mr.B around but that's what bitches do. There's an old saying that used to be on a lot of T shirts--"Dogs drool and bitches rule"--with a picture of a Dobe. I had one of those for years.

Get Mr B in a class again--hopefully the farm work will slow down fairly soon and give you a chance to work with him and take him to classes again.

Dogs who have grown up with another dog in the house and who aren't used to being an only dog take the loss of their doggy companions hard but given time and more attention (which you are doing for Mr. B) and they will move on. And you said it in an earlier post--the best cure for the heartbreak of losing one family dog is to get a new puppy to raise--it won't be the same dog and I can tell you from personal experience that we never can actually replace a pet we've said farewell to. And that's another old saying that fits--"It's never the same river..."

The first two Dobermans that followed my very first dog suffered because I wanted the "same dog" and while those dogs were wonderful in their own right I was never as close to them as I was to that first boy--and they weren't him. I haven't made that mistake since--and I've had a string of male Dobermans who were, in their turn--"the best dog ever.."

Look for a new lil' girl--it won't be Ali, and Mr.B won't expect it to be Ali but it'll fill that hole in his heart and the one in your heart and Mrs. Ken's too.

dobebug and the Toad
09-10-2019 12:54 PM
melbrod Agree completely with MeadowCat. Grieving is a process we all go through at different speeds.

"5 Tips to Help Pets Deal with Grief"

https://www.petmd.com/dog/behavior/5...ets-deal-grief
09-10-2019 12:14 PM
MeadowCat I'm so sorry.

I think it's okay to let him grieve a bit. It's not abnormal. Many many dogs grieve the loss of a companion dog, just as we do.

My *personal* opinion is that I wouldn't rush into a rescue dog just to fill a place, unless it was the RIGHT dog. If you were looking for another well bred pup, there are options out there for that, too (but again, I don't think you need to rush into the WRONG pup for you).

I 100% think you are correct to stick to only females.
09-10-2019 11:56 AM
Cressrb Aw, she is still beautiful.
My experience is that the males will allow the girls to think they are boss, but one day when push comes to shove they will show their macho self and the girls respect it, but then the
next day, right back to bossing them.
09-10-2019 11:48 AM
allisonJ
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cressrb View Post
Hi Allison, nice to hear from you. Thinking about you the other day and wondering how it was going. Did Mina's ear ever stand on it's own?

I should start another thread for this.

No, her ears never stood. Very depressing but we still love our little Beanie. Meanie Beanie is what I call her sometimes.




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09-10-2019 11:24 AM
Cressrb Hi Allison, nice to hear from you. Thinking about you the other day and wondering how it was going. Did Mina's ear ever stand on it's own?
I should start another thread for this.
09-10-2019 11:24 AM
ECIN Oh yeah ! Ali was the BOSS

I am afraid of putting two males together , now John and Bug Russell can do it and get along fine , but I not them

Just thought it might be safer with a female .

Doc
09-10-2019 11:13 AM
allisonJ I am so sorry for your loss. So you for sure donít want another male? Was your female the alpha out of your two dogs? Was she the boss of him? Asking bc thatís the situation over here with moose and Mina. She def tells him what to do everyday! We think he gets tired of it but he always goes back for more. M&M play good together and love each other but He plays so much better with his brothers. they come over to stay for a couple of days at a time and they basically just sprint around the yard and play wrestle all day and wear themselves out. Everyone warned me about having 2 males together but moose and his 3 brothers love being with each other and we never have any issues. Mina on the other hand likes to be the boss of ALL of them. Maybe itís a female thing. Hope you get some relief soon and canít wait to see pics of your next dog. Thinking about you and your wife during this difficult time. Hugs from TX.


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09-10-2019 11:06 AM
Cressrb Doc, that breaks my heart. Our Kiri is in deep depression. I didn't realize it would affect them that much, but Dobermans I have come to realize are not ordinary dogs.
My daughter is thinking of getting a rescue, too. Just talked to someone today that wants to place their Greyhound. She isn't doing that well around six rowdy children.
The Greyhound, that is.
09-10-2019 11:02 AM
ECIN
How to mend a Dobermans Broken heart ?

Poor Mr. Business is heart broke with out his big sissy around

He goes out and checks her grave , has taken one of there balls out to it and laid it by the grave , then he walks back , maybe 5 or 6 feet and then he just lays there and watchís it .

He never meet me at the gate this morning , wife said heís just laying around , he is so , so sad .

We took him with us yesterday morning , to give him as much attention as possible . I can throw his ball , he goes and gets it , then lays down next to me , heís done .

I spent a lot of time Sunday on Doberman rescue , really couldnít find anything to work here , most are males .

I will be honest here , I did contact G Red about 3 weeks ago about one of the pups out there that was still available, but after getting Aliís diagnosis, felt , we had better pass , truly , I thought Ali would be here lots longer and didnít know if I could do a good job taking care of Ali plus the pup , plus Mr. B . Wish I had now did that in hind site .

I think the only thing that will help him is a new sister and that takes time . We are doing are best to keep him active , but he is lost .

As I type , heís just laying in the house . Thatís not right for him .

We have even talked about going to the local shelter and see if they have anything that might work . I donít know , I feel so sorry for him and the wife . They are all beyond lost and itís to damn quit in here


Doc

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