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08-22-2019 09:26 AM
Lannie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hilary View Post
Late to this thread, but just wanted to chime in with warm healing thoughts for you and your broken heart. I lost my first Doberman at age 6 too, only 1 year ago (wow! it feels like yesterday...). She succumbed to a byproduct of her obsessive need to eat what wasn't food. She took my heart and blasted it into trillions of pieces when I lost her. I still find it completely bewildering that something I loved so intensely could leave me forever after only 6 years. I'm still furious about it, actually.

But her loss opened the door for another. An absolute DREAM of a dober-dude. He is such an unexpected gift and we adore him immensely. Very different from her. One day he too will destroy me and I am very aware that I treat every moment with him like we're on borrowed time. Even if I have him for 13 years, it will still be short change.

In those deepest moments of grief I sometimes wondered if it was worth it. They good years of love worth the agony of losing them. Distance from the moment will make that answer clear. It's worth it.

Hugs to you.
OMG, you had the same trouble I did. Zipper was actually 10 when she died - I got her when she was 4 years old. But same thing - she wanted to eat everything, no matter what it was. We have a woodstove, and I'd go out to do barn chores in the morning and come back to find she'd been in the kindling box and eaten some dried branches. Or at least parts of them. On more than one occasion I had to syringe some hydrogen peroxide down her and then take her outside and wait for whatever it was to come back up. She had one obstruction surgery before we got her, and one after, and then for the rest of her time with me, I spent 24 hours a day trying to make sure she didn't eat anything she shouldn't. Amazingly, it wasn't a blockage that finally did her in, but it was *something* wrong in her guts, so it probably stemmed from those two surgeries, or something she ate. I couldn't always get the "whatever" out of her mouth before she swallowed it, and if she saw I was coming after her, she'd run away. She was SO much trouble. I think she came to live with me to teach me the meaning of love and patience.

I'd love to have another Doberdude, too, to take my mind off all this, but it's not to be. Out of 5 dogs, she was my only girl, and she was sweet beyond belief, but like I said, trouble with a capital T.

Your girl died on the same day (August 3rd) as my first boy did, back in 1998. Twenty years, to the day. That was a terrible day, but lucky for me there was a gorgeously handsome rescue boy that needed a home, and I gave it to him, so I had another beauty to fill my days with laughing and happiness.

I'm getting better. I've managed to type this entire post without crying. I hope you're over your crying by now, too. I hate crying, it makes my eyes all sore and puffy and I feel icky and have a headache. Smiling is much nicer.
08-21-2019 12:36 PM
Hilary Late to this thread, but just wanted to chime in with warm healing thoughts for you and your broken heart. I lost my first Doberman at age 6 too, only 1 year ago (wow! it feels like yesterday...). She succumbed to a byproduct of her obsessive need to eat what wasn't food. She took my heart and blasted it into trillions of pieces when I lost her. I still find it completely bewildering that something I loved so intensely could leave me forever after only 6 years. I'm still furious about it, actually.

But her loss opened the door for another. An absolute DREAM of a dober-dude. He is such an unexpected gift and we adore him immensely. Very different from her. One day he too will destroy me and I am very aware that I treat every moment with him like we're on borrowed time. Even if I have him for 13 years, it will still be short change.

In those deepest moments of grief I sometimes wondered if it was worth it. They good years of love worth the agony of losing them. Distance from the moment will make that answer clear. It's worth it.

Hugs to you.
08-20-2019 07:45 AM
LadyDi That is a great idea......I would love to hear the stories..........and see the pics........
08-19-2019 09:48 AM
Lannie All this crying in my beer is not good for me. As soon as I can figure out (again) how to post pictures properly, I'm going to start a happy thread about all the funny and sweet things that happen around here, and with all these animals, there are a lot of funny and sweet things that happen around here.
08-19-2019 09:43 AM
Lannie Thank you, John, I had a busy couple of days and didn't have time to respond to this.

It's nearly three weeks now, and I'm still not used to her not being here. I still make a wide turn around the edge of the couch as I'm coming into the living room, so as not to run into her big feet hanging out as she's sleeping on her end of the couch. And there's no one to clean up the spilled chicken food that Chicklet throws out of her cage. Yes, we have a chicken in the house, it's a long story. Zipper would always go over to her cage and pick up the little pellets that Chicklet scattered while she was eating. Now it just sits on the floor and I have to vacuum more often. I guess that's a good thing. And the water bowl gets stagnant because she's not here to empty it. The cats drink hardly anything, and Missy the hairy dog refuses to drink anywhere but the toilet, but only after it's been flushed. She likes her water cold and fresh. (At least it makes me keep the toilet sparkling clean, so I guess it's a good thing, too.)

Yesterday I was in the kitchen doing something, and the TV was on in the living room. There was a dog on whatever show was on that whined, and it sounded so much like Zipper, I instinctively said, "Just a minute honey, I'm coming," and dried my hands off to go take her outside. Then I remembered.

I didn't have this much trouble when I lost my first boy, and I was with him for 15 years. Of course, I got another boy almost immediately afterward, and that took my mind off losing Ninja. I was living in Portland, then, so there were people and dogs and all kinds of civilization all around me. But there are no Dobes here (and very few people), and do I really NEED another dog? No, I don't. Do I WANT another? Yes, I do. God this is so hard. I still have Missy, and she's finally starting to get over her grief, I think. She actually came out and got on the dog end of the couch last night as we were watching a movie after dinner. Used to be, she'd get up there and then Zip would want up there (it was technically Zipper's spot), but she wouldn't try to make Missy move, she asked ME to make Missy move. It was kind of funny. She'd walk past Missy, and get right in my face with those sad eyes, and when I'd ask her what she wanted, she'd cut her eyes just briefly to her spot on the couch, then look back at me and wag her stub. Plain as day, "Mom, make her get off my blankie!" So I'd tell Missy to get off the couch, and Zipper would hop up and curl up on her blankie. Missy always grumbled about it, but never argued. She's a good dog, and I'm lucky to have her, I just miss Zipper.

Anyway, since Zipper left, Missy had been spending ALL of her time, except when she eats, lying on the bed in the bedroom. I'd invite her up to the couch, but she always declined, and went back to the bed. I even had to call her (and sometimes insist) to go outside a few times a day to potty. But now she seems like she's more part of the family again. She'll ask ME to let her out when she has to potty, and she gets up on the couch once in a while, too, so I guess she's making progress. I am, too, but there are still some bad moments, like the whining on the TV yesterday.
08-17-2019 03:11 AM
4x4bike ped @ Lannie

Your words: "I don't know how much more I can take."

My friend.... Just roll with it. We grieve and then eventually we bask in the wonderful memories of our fur kids.

I still reminisce of boys that I lost decades ago. All gets good. Good memories...

Best to you and yours.

John
Portland OR
08-16-2019 11:15 PM
melbrod So sorry about Peanut. Bad things come in threes, they say.

I hope you're done for a while.
08-16-2019 09:28 AM
Lannie
Quote:
Originally Posted by melbrod View Post
A long lost cousin! We have a Hairy Dog too!!



If we're being formal, we call him by his true name Ori, or sometimes Harold DogDog.

I have had problems in the past with long posts disappearing too. I think sometimes that happens when it takes me a long time to type in posts, which are, of course, the very ones you don't want to lose. I've just gotten in the habit of saving the long posts before I click on "post quick reply". That way, if the original heads off into the ether, I have a copy to paste up.
Yes, I saw that you had a Hairy Dog and that's why I was talking about Missy having the same nickname. It was in that long post that disappeared. I should have known to save it, but I wasn't thinking.

More sad news, though, it seems that Murphy wasn't finished with us yet. One of our kitties, Peanut (my husband's absolute favorite) didn't come in with the rest of the cats yesterday morning, and I looked for her and called all day. When Rich went out to check the mail in the afternoon, he found her on the side of the road, run over but good, OMG. She died instantly, but that's no consolation. Peanut was Zipper's walking companion out back, and I can't tell you the number of times I had to clean pee or poop off of Peanut's back, because she had a habit of walking right next to Zipper, almost under her feet (sometimes Zipper tripped on her), then when Zipper stopped to potty, Peanut would wind around her back feet, getting pottied on. She was a strange little cat, but she loved her big doggy and she was about the only cat that Zipper didn't mind getting in her face. The other cats scared her, but Peanut was her friend, so I guess now they're together again. Maybe it's for the best, because Peanut spent a week looking for her big buddy, and not knowing where she had gone. Now she's with her again. Peanut had never, to my knowledge, gone anywhere near the road before, so I don't know what possessed her to do it yesterday (well, night before last, I guess), but it was the last mistake she ever made.

Peanut was a handful when she was younger, and I had to put rubber bands between all the cupboard handles in the kitchen so she couldn't get them open and walk all over the pots and pans and stuff, and all the "girl stuff" in the bathroom had to go in Zip-Lock bags and be sealed. She'd pull the little drain plug thing out of the bathroom sink and then drop things in there. How many times did I have to take that P-trap apart to retrieve something... nail clippers, tweezers, a hair clip, etc.... I can't count. And she was a climber. Our house isn't very big, so almost everything is near something else, and a determined cat can get up as high as they want, if they're clever, and Peanut was clever. Then one day she "grew up." Just like that, she stopped being a pain in the ass and started being a sweet, loving kitty. She was only two years old.

I wonder if it will end there, or if there are more losses to come? I shouldn't jinx myself, but I'm starting to feel numb. The female Pyr, our old spinster cat, one of the ferals that was becoming friendly, then Zipper and Peanut, all in the last two months. I don't know how much more I can take.

And now my hubby wants to get rid of our last horse. I can see his point. The poor guy has nothing but cows for company now (we lost his mate last winter to heart failure), and all he does is eat hay and poop all over, and he's wild as a March hare so I can't ride him, so there's no good reason to keep him, other than he's beautiful (he's an Arab), and he dances when he's happy, and I love him. I don't think I can let him go. He'd be going to a good home, with a younger woman who wants to work with him, get him back under saddle again, and give him a real job, and I'd be stupid to deny him a better life, but I just can't think about him going away right now. Maybe in a while.
08-15-2019 10:52 AM
melbrod A long lost cousin! We have a Hairy Dog too!!



If we're being formal, we call him by his true name Ori, or sometimes Harold DogDog.

I have had problems in the past with long posts disappearing too. I think sometimes that happens when it takes me a long time to type in posts, which are, of course, the very ones you don't want to lose. I've just gotten in the habit of saving the long posts before I click on "post quick reply". That way, if the original heads off into the ether, I have a copy to paste up.
08-15-2019 09:34 AM
Lannie Oh, wait, they're still there! Just all my typing disappeared. Well, the first one is Zipper not long after we got her, with one of the kittens, which her previous owner was SURE she would eat for lunch. Ha. Zipper never had a mean bone in her body, and she adored the kitties.

The other picture is Missy, AKA Hairy Dog. That board around her neck is to keep her from squeezing through the woven wire fence and escaping. If there's a way out, Missy will find it, and the board is the only thing we've found that will keep her in her yard. She's smart as a whip, that one.
08-15-2019 09:31 AM
Lannie Well. I guess I've forgotten how to attach a picture here. I just had this long reply typed out (there was even a cow story in there), and when I tried to attach a picture of Missy and Zipper, I somehow wiped out the whole dang thing. And I don't have time to re-do it now, so I'll have to come back and try again tomorrow. Time to go milk the cow and do chores.

I'll figure it out, eventually. I think I'd better try working on the picture attachments by themselves first, so I don't lose 20 minutes worth of typing, eh? (That's me, always doing things backward, or at least the hardest way possible...)
08-14-2019 04:14 PM
Alida Those who have walked beside us remain forever in our hearts.
08-14-2019 01:17 PM
LadyDi Take it back ECIN.......or....well I will just do some'thin!!!!! Oh...I will send moths towards urine corn , yep ...thats what I will do !!! LOL

Lannie......thanks for checking in again..........yes we need your experience on this forum.......glad to know you are considering hang'in out with us......
just know we are your dog friends in your darkest of hours........peace!
08-14-2019 12:40 PM
ECIN Lannie ! Ole Doc needs your help on here , other than Sandy2223 were the only farmers , ranchers , it us against them city folk ! There is one from FLA thatís a real pain in the rear ! Plus one from OK ! Lol

Pictures of S.D. would be great ! Love that country you live in , matter of fact , I would retire there BUT , them winters ! Lol

Doc
08-14-2019 12:12 PM
melbrod Glad you're planning to stick around.

Not all of us have dobes (I have in the past, but now have a Cattle Dog mix, Harold DogDog--Hairy Dog, for short) or even dogs. It's not a requirement.
Keep it up with the stories...even post pictures, scenery, current pets, past pet, photos you're particularly proud of, whatever you want....
08-14-2019 09:29 AM
Lannie You guys are the best. I was actually thinking this morning that since I have more time now, maybe I CAN visit here more often than before. Zipper took up so much of my time... not to mention every other little thing that needs doing around a farm. It didn't leave me a whole lot of time for myself, that's for sure.

I feel so funky, though. I haven't been without at least one Dobe since 1984 when I got my first one as a tiny pup. He was with me for 15 years, and then all the others were rescues I got as adults. Thor was 2 when I got him, then Shogie was 6 or 7 (I got him from my ex when he was moving and "couldn't take the dog"), Cody, bless his sweet little heart, was 10 when we got him, so we only had him for 3 years, and Zipper, the Dog Show Dropout, was 4. Everyone died of complications of old age, except Zipper, and Shogie, who evidently had DCM (I didn't know), who dropped dead in his tracks one day when he went out to potty. I think that one hit me harder than the others because he wasn't THAT old, and he was in fine condition, until he wasn't. Talk about a shock to the system.

Shogie and Cody are buried here on the farm, in the garden. Zipper died two hours away, and I couldn't bear the thought of tossing her in the back of the pickup to bring her home, and then trying to dig a hole in this heat, so I went against everything I believe in and told the vet to take care of it. I know what happens, but my consolation is that she's not in that shell anymore, so I can justify it that way. I feel awful for not giving her a decent burial here, though.

But really, think of all the dogs she'll have to play with now! It's going to be great for her! All of mine, and all of yours, there's TONS of them up there waiting to greet her, and you'd better believe her stub is a blur from wagging. And she can eat anything she wants and not have to worry about getting a blockage, or having me put horrible things down her throat to "fix" her afterward. Or the dreaded intestinal surgery and hospital stay - she HATED being at the hospital, but she did have a fan club there.

The vet and her techs were really broken up about her going, too. I can't remember if I mentioned it, but they sent me a sympathy card, which was thoughtful, but also a little pewter pin of a puppy with gold wings and a halo. I burst into tears when I saw it, it was so sweet of them to do that, but they loved her, too. The vet told me once that she was such a good patient, and never disagreed with anything she had to do to her, and that she wished all her patients were so congenial and cooperative.

Some of the good things about Zipper being gone, although I didn't mind doing most of it, are not having to stand in the kitchen with her after she tanked up on too much water to make sure it didn't bounce back. Like every other dog, if she had to barf, she always wanted to do it on the carpet. And not having to cook her food every few days. This past year, she'd been on a cooked rice and chicken diet (in consideration of her sensitive stomach, per the vet), so I'd cook up a batch of chicken legs and thighs, then de-bone them and shred the meat and bag it. Then make a big batch of rice using the chicken stock (so she'd get the goodness from the marrow and gelatin), and then doling that out in meal portions twice a day. She would always spin in circles when she heard me get her food bowl down. She did love her food! And of course, going outside with her to monitor her behavior outside, making sure she didn't eat grass and sticks or dead animals (and monitoring the quantity and quality of every poop that ever fell out of her behind, OMG). I have to say, I will NOT miss having to pry a dead mouse or half rotted bird out of her jaws. Sometimes, if they looked fresh, I didn't bother, I just let her eat them, but sticks and dried weeds were a definite no-no.

Her nemesis, Kiara (she was one of our livestock dogs, a Pyrenees) just passed away in May of old age, bless her. She went to sleep one night and just didn't wake up. That was hard, too, believe me, but she was VERY old for a Pyr, and we knew the day was near. But Zipper always thought she was an invader, because she lived on the outside of Zipper's fence, so therefore, she must be a stranger and should be menaced until she left the area. Which she always did but for all the years Zipper was here (6 years), she never figured out that Kiara and her mate Jasper actually lived here and were members of the pack. Zipper didn't have any brain cells dedicated to manners, so she was a big galoot when it came to meeting other dogs. She was OK with Missy in the house, but any other dog, she was so rude to that they'd reprimand her and then there'd be an altercation. She was covered in little white bite scars from her previous home. She got into SO many scraps with the other dogs there, but I don't think she realized SHE was the one starting the fights. So that was something else I had to monitor. One morning I brought Zip outside and Kiara was lying in the comfrey patch just outside the fence, and Zipper just shoved her head through one of the squares (woven wire fence) and BIT Kiara right on the butt! She didn't even bark first, LOL! I don't think Kiara even felt it through all that hair, but OMG, Zipper had no manners whatsoever.

She did give great hugs, though.

So that was some more stories, or rambling, whatever you want to call it. It does feel good to share this with other people who know what I'm talking about. Thank you.
08-13-2019 08:02 PM
4x4bike ped Goodbye Zipper...

Run free and eat lots of great food across the bridge! When you run into my sweet boys, wag your nubby and say "Hi"! and they will be your friends.

@ Lannie. My condolences...

John
Portland OR
08-13-2019 02:15 PM
LadyDi Well I was reading your post about...... because of your age ...Zipper being your last dog.
You could stay involved with this forum........you are a book of knowledge about dogs and could help others as they visit this forum with their questions.
It would be a good way to stay involved with dog folks and hang out with us crazies......just a thought.
Thinking of you today.......peace be with you.....always.
08-13-2019 01:53 PM
dax0402 So very, very sorry for your loss. They are just never with us long enough! Sleep softly sweet Zipper!
08-13-2019 01:31 PM
dobebug It's not rambling--it's sharing the story of a life with your dog and what it's like now.

I ramble (I just call them stories and tell people that I'm good at telling stories. Since you are living in the wilds of South Dakota I'll tell you a South Dakota story. But it's about Dobemans too. I was born in South Dakota but mostly didn't live there--my folks moved to Seattle when I was 2 or maybe 3 but I spent summers with my grandmother in South Dakota and one memorable winter when I had so many bouts of pneumonia they had my mother send me back to South Dakota (where it was a lot colder but drier.

But when I was very small and before we moved to Seattle I met my very first Doberman--a red dog who I learned later had a major league reputation as the only dog who could out hunt and out retrieve pheasant better than the Setters could. I only really remember that the Dobe was taller than I was and he was very warm and liked to be petted. I also remember that my grandmother (who didn't yell at people) yelled at my grandfather about letting me near that bad dog.

Much later when I got my first Doberman my mother wanted to know if I remembered the big red dog--I remembered the dog but had no idea of the breed--what the heck does a two year old know? Not much.

My home area in South Dakota was in the heart of wheat and pheasant country--Redfield, the County seat of Spink County, SD.

dobebug
08-13-2019 11:42 AM
LadyDi
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post
Lannie , itís not ramble , itís talking from your heart , I think I can say , that we all enjoy hearing about ZIP , I know I do .

Doc
Yep........you are with friends here...we all understand because we have so much in common!
Keep writing.......it's good for you to express these feelings in any place that you are comfortable.
08-13-2019 09:37 AM
yuki_cos I'm sorry for your lost. Good thoughts and well wishes are being sent your way.
08-13-2019 09:14 AM
ECIN Lannie , itís not ramble , itís talking from your heart , I think I can say , that we all enjoy hearing about ZIP , I know I do .

Doc
08-13-2019 08:43 AM
Lannie Thanks so much, you guys. I knew you'd understand that losing ANY dog is painful, but a sweet Dobe is so much harder. Why are they so different? I'll bet none of us could put it into words, but there's just something *more* about a Dobe. The saddest part of all this is that Zipper was my last one. It was a miracle that we found her in the first place, considering where we live, and at my age, I'm getting a bit creaky and not able to keep up with a healthy young one that much anymore. Zipper was old like me, so we kinda moved at the same speed, and that was OK.

Dobebug, your post made me smile. Get a new brain. LOL! My husband and I used to joke about Zip only having three working brain cells. One for barking, one for eating, and one for spinning in circles. Those were the things she did best. But there was one more, I think. The brain cell for love, and it was a big one. I miss so much not having her lie in front of the couch while I'm crapped out watching a movie, my one arm across her shoulder or stroking the top of her head. And if we had a storm, or she was nervous about anything, she'd back up tight against me so I could lean forward and give her a whole-body hug. She gave good hugs.

I know you all already know these things, I'm just rambling, and I'm only doing it because I know I can, here. Because your boys and girls do the same things. I have plenty of things to distract me, however, and for that I'm grateful. There are some new kittens in the house, and a new calf out in the barn, and the remaining house dog, Missy, to try to help get over her own grief.

Speaking of that, hubby and I had to leave yesterday to go to town to see the dentist, and Missy apparently thought we were going to visit Zipper again, and was literally throwing herself at the door, screaming to go with us. I finally yelled at her to back up, and she wouldn't, which is SO not like her. She's normally extremely obedient, but she was NOT going to be left home. I decided it was best to take her with us, so she could see that we weren't actually going to visit Zipper. I guess we'll be taking her with us the next few times we go anywhere, until she gets the message that Zipper is not going to come home, ever. Zipper might have been the dumbest dog I've ever known, but Missy is the smartest (she's a Malinois cross), and she challenges me every day to out-think her. So it's not like I have nothing to do, and eventually, my bouts of melancholy and weepiness will get less and less. I want to remember Zipper and smile, not get all blubbery and start crying every time. Zipper would be sad that I'm sad.

And life goes on.
08-13-2019 01:33 AM
ArkadyDarell Ahh Iím so sorry to hear about Zipper - it sounds like she was a wonderfully stubborn and independent girl! I know your pain all too well, it just breaks my heart when any of us have to say goodbye to a wonderful doggy soul. Sending you all the best wishes and thoughts and puppy prayers <3
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