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  Topic Review (Newest First)
05-27-2020 07:20 PM
Beaumont67 ct humor thoughts
>>
>>

I'm as bored as an Amish electrician.

~~~~~
Ontario has banned groups larger than 5.
If youre a family of 6, youre all about to find

out whos the least favorite!
~~~~~
The longer this goes on, the harder it will be

to return to a society where pants and bras

are required!

---------
Happy hour is starting earlier and earlier.
If this keeps up, Ill be pouring wine in my

cereal!
~~~~~
Todays Weather? ................. Room

temperature
~~~~~
30 Days Hath September, April, June and

November
All the rest have 31 except April which

has 8000
~~~~~
Smoking pot and skipping school had me in

trouble constantly.
Now weeds legal and schools closed damn

kids are livin the dream!
~~~~~
This is stupid. I just tried to make my own

hand sanitizer and it came out as a rum &

coke!

~~~~~
After a few days of not going out, I saw

someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk

outside.
I immediately ran to the window and started

yelling to them. Now I understand dogs.
~~~~~
Day 8 of social isolation and its looking like

Vegas in my house:
Were losing money by the minute.
Cocktails are acceptable at any hour.
Nobody knows what time it is.
05-27-2020 06:28 PM
Beaumont67 I see JMD, visited our CT...don't be scared, its a Fun House here // welcome back.

SP & DOC - getting red Puppy Fever yet ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jean Marie Diaz View Post
I yielded to the temptation to quarantine foster a red bitch for the local shelter, which quickly became a quarantine adoption when they asked me to bring her back for adoption interviews the next day and I thought "oh HELL no."

So, please meet Rona:

Hard at work:

05-27-2020 04:39 PM
Beaumont67
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrykersPerson View Post
Good Day Everyone!

I said Good Day!

These are crazy times.

I just started ripping wall paper and now I have a Zoom interview with multiple people?

I better get this freaking job!

Dammit!

Or I could sit on my lazy butt and collect unemployment, if I ever get it.

I need this job!
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyDi View Post
You will do just fine.
Just remember to breathe slowly.
When asked a question ....pause ....breathe.....then answer.
You are a jewel do not ever forget this!
Papa hopes SP gets the good job too.

But remember - U have only 1 First Impression, in a Phone Interview.

Beau INTERVIEW Academy Tips...

a) Don't take phone call, sitting on the Loo (toilet terminology, for us Non-Brits)
b) Come prepared & Dress Appropriate // No Hee-Haw Halter Top
c) If sitting at the Kitchen Table, clean counter-top in back ground spotless (of junk)...and no dishes pilled up in sink
d)
If Video Chat, is a FM...Face chat only, not trying to make her jealous here.
If Video Chat, is a Male...Face chat not necessary, so pan cell camera angle a little further back.
- bring them Bobbies, into a respectful display...never hurts

e) Be yourself, and Helps to keep good posture & composure...No Beer bottles on dining table, to take the edge off.
f) And above all, No unexpected Loud FARTING or Nose Picking , to contain an Itch
g) And don't Look Desperate
h) Don't Argue about the previous Jerks, that Laid you off , when asked about your previous Employer
i) be punctual for the meeting so don't sleep in & miss it
j) And best of Luck, stay Positive & Professional.

CHICKEN HAWKS, - did I miss anything ?

-----------------------------------------

LDi - great video, I enjoyed HOSS in the Golf Cart.

When you walked behind the tree trunk, his head was facing away.
- when you shift Left and come out of hiding / Hoss eyes was right on Mommy
- and he did a head turn, to lock eyes onto you // All BOND there
05-27-2020 03:50 PM
LadyDi
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post
Oh yeah , it's nocking on the door here , just came in from mowing --- again -- getting as bad as Bug - lol

I bet it was that problem child = A Lurker ! -- YKW ! - Sending it my way !

BTW LDi - your nails look nice - I like that color --did Scott paint them for yeah?
Well Thanks Doc!
No I painted these nails all by myself.
Unless I am scratching Scotts back (recent development!!!) he seems disinterested.
05-27-2020 03:48 PM
Beaumont67

Sally, a contestant on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the
final plateau.

If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If
she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.


And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no
pushover.

It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own
nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her
50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her
Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.

She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blonde.


But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question
and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: 'That's easy. The answer is C: the
cuckoo.

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered
employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one
that her friend had given her.

And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing
to do.

But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the
contestant could not help but be convinced.

'I need an answer,' said Meredith. Crossing her fingers, the contestant
said, 'C: The cuckoo.

'Is that your final answer? 'Yes, that is my final answer.

And Meredith replied, 'That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a
millionaire!

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends,
including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.

'Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant. 'How did
you happen to know the right answer?

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build
nests. They live in clocks.'
05-27-2020 03:26 PM
ECIN Oh yeah , it's nocking on the door here , just came in from mowing --- again -- getting as bad as Bug - lol

I bet it was that problem child = A Lurker ! -- YKW ! - Sending it my way !

BTW LDi - your nails look nice - I like that color --did Scott paint them for yeah?
05-27-2020 03:05 PM
LadyDi ECIN, your gonna get rain.
Just a heads up.

05-27-2020 01:55 PM
LadyDi

Sunday with Hoss
05-27-2020 01:13 PM
melbrod
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post

See you one, and raise you one, Kenny. My photo is all blurry, true, but it has glowy eyes to make up for it:



(actually in real poker that kind of bet isn't allowed--you just have to raise with the total you're planning on putting in)



Or I could do this one--just to start breaking you in slowly. Coming soon to an arena near you.



Kip had just had more than he could take from Capri.
05-27-2020 01:12 PM
LadyDi You will do just fine.
Just remember to breathe slowly.
When asked a question ....pause ....breathe.....then answer.
You are a jewel do not ever forget this!
05-27-2020 01:03 PM
StrykersPerson Good Day Everyone!

I said Good Day!

These are crazy times.

I just started ripping wall paper and now I have a Zoom interview with multiple people?

I better get this freaking job!

Dammit!

Or I could sit on my lazy butt and collect unemployment, if I ever get it.

I need this job!
05-27-2020 12:58 PM
melbrod Bug, I really like iris and day lilies. Not only do they take turns nicely, there's something about their leaves that seems to go together. At our old house north of Denver, I had a number of both, and I've always sorta regretted that I didn't dig up at least one or two of the nicer ones to bring down here.

But deer EAT day lilies, so I've given up on that idea.They really do limit my gardening, but I enjoy having them come through regularly too, so at least they give as much as they take.
05-27-2020 12:46 PM
StrykersPerson
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post
Hey Aunt Bonnie - How about a puppy report !!!!! Have you talked to Joyce ? Getting excited here ! Sent out deposit yesterday
Don't I get a puppy too?

05-27-2020 12:46 PM
LadyDi Nice Choppers!!!
05-27-2020 12:44 PM
StrykersPerson
Quote:
Originally Posted by ECIN View Post

That dog scares me and has an evil look.

Not!

05-27-2020 12:42 PM
StrykersPerson Speaking of ghost towns, I would really like to explore a legitimate ghost town.

Or even abandanded farm houses.
05-27-2020 12:36 PM
ECIN
05-27-2020 12:28 PM
ECIN Just heard this song today - Pretty good song - New from " The " Stones ! Living in a Ghost Town

05-27-2020 12:16 PM
LadyDi Yo Spock!!!!
Well took Hoss for a walk a lunch today and had a situation.
Out of no where came a solid black German Shepard all hackeled up and rushing towards me and my boy.
I waited as I though this dog might stop at his own property line.
NOT !!!
He had to cross the street to get to us and he was hauling azz.
Hoss got fired up and was leaning against my leg....then Hoss started showing front teeth!
Oh boy....I hit that air horn and both dogs dropped to the ground.
Hoss stayed with me but once the Shepard got up he hauLed butt home.
The owner came out of her house yelling she was sorry ...so I hit the air horn a few more times for her and her large pup.
Then I saw this man behind us and he said she was full of chit. Dog has rushed him more times than he could count.
He looked at me and smiled and said”Now I know what to buy” AIRHORN!!!!!
These things always happen so fast ......air horn works great plus it gets the owners attention BIG TIME......bunch of people came out of their houses.
I hope the owner was embarrassed!!!!!
Darn dog was off leash outside of the house with the owners inside.
That just really sucks.
DOC get an air horn.
Meanwhile I still have my citronella and taser for back up.
Airhorn was quick use for an emergency.
05-27-2020 12:05 PM
ECIN Hey Aunt Bonnie - How about a puppy report !!!!! Have you talked to Joyce ? Getting excited here ! Sent out deposit yesterday
05-27-2020 11:30 AM
StrykersPerson
Quote:
Originally Posted by spocksdad View Post
Doing some cleanout of my Flicker photostream and came across this old pic that was screaming to become a Meme!...








Ironically, that's why "little chubby" Lanah looks likes Tony Soprano now, DW has been giving her same size treats as the Dobes since 2015....
And you are just now figuring this out?
05-27-2020 11:29 AM
spocksdad
Quote:
Originally Posted by melbrod View Post
And I figured I might be be around as early as you guys for a change, but no....you're playing my game staying up late??

Anyway, I found this one for you guys (Bug, MC in particular). I think you're both familiar with these--they've have all been shown before--but the artist put them together in honor? of CoVid. I haven't been keeping up with him; I guess I need to play catch up. In the meantime:


Simon's Cat

Daily Routine (Stay Home Collection)
When self isolating it's important to maintain a routine!



Very cute video, Mel, but 16:30m worth, to illustrate a simple conclusion....A cat is a P.I.A. !

(Like the 2m video much better)

Mini Rant:

Reminds me of those network news magazine programs that stretch out a crime story (always with a twist at end) with loads of commercials inserted. After each commercial, narrator must rehash everything that was covered before, as if to be catering to a group of brain dead viewers. The network talent competition programs are the same- 10 min of sad contestant family disease history, 5 min of actual performance, 5 min of commercials, 10 min of rehash, then repeat, for 2-hours, several times/week. I'll just have to say the editors certainly earn their pay churning out this [email protected] So thankful for the DVR!



Spocksdad Rule of Cats

1 Cat = A Manageable PIA
2 Cats = Pushing the Sanity Envelope
3 Cats = Household Chaos
>3 Cats = Insane, except on SD ranches, for rodent control




Cats Are Evil - Exhibit #1,435

05-27-2020 11:23 AM
StrykersPerson
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lannie View Post
Eight pages behind... I'm not going to try to get caught up on all that, no time. Been SO busy here this past week, I feel like I'm going in circles. Couple more sick kittens, saved one, lost one. But I did get my house cleaned, and it stayed clean for precisely 24 hours, which might be a record! I'm going to try to keep it up with a little bit of maintenance every day and hope we don't have any bad mud in the near future.

The carpets were just nasty. A whole winter of sporadic vacuuming, plus mud and "other stuff" being tracked in and powdered into the carpet... the smell was getting to where even I was noticing it, and I live here, LOL! So I mixed up some orange essential oil in a big bowl of baking soda and sprinkled it heavily all over the carpet, then vacuumed it up. BIG difference! Yay! Now it smells faintly of citrus, rather than dirty dog and dried poop. I still have to shampoo, but at least I got the worst of the surface gunk off.

The grass is growing so fast, Rich can mow one day and the next it looks like it hasn't been mowed in weeks. There's too much acreage here for him to do it all at once, so he does sections at a time, and by the time he makes the whole circuit, the first part is 8 or 10 inches tall again. "Springtime on the grass prairie."

Today is my 5th anniversary of when I quit smoking, too. I was so sure I'd die with a cigarette in my hand, and I couldn't go more than a couple hours without one. I would NEVER have imagined I could make it a week, much less a year, much less FIVE years! Sometimes I still can't believe it...

Anyway, off I go again. Rich is going to Rapid for shopping today, and I have a crap-ton of things to do today while he's gone. (All the while fending off the five "baby" wildebeeste, who all have spring fever right now. Oh, and did I mention there are flies and moths in the windows now? God help me... who needs cat toys when there are flying insects to be had?)

Everyone have a good day!
Umm Lannie?

If my unemployment check would ever get here I would gladly hire a cleaning crew for you!

I am still trying to hire a wall paper stripper around here.

Carpet needs to be ripped out of my house.

Oh what fun! I've got too much furniture to move! I will have to hire a furniture mover.

My Mom keeps calling me and asking if I want something she's trying to get rid of. My answer is NO, I am trying to get rid of crap!

Oops! Little rant fart there!
05-27-2020 11:05 AM
StrykersPerson
Quote:
Originally Posted by melbrod View Post
Last summer, I ordered some Iris from a specialty Iris farm up in Boulder--Long's Gardens. It has been there since 1905--it was outside of town, but now it's in the middle, and all they grow and sell are Bearded Iris--something around 350 different named varieties.

Last November, City of Boulder voters approved an Open Space sales tax. The first year's revenue will go to purchase a conservation easement on the farm. This ensures that Long's Gardens will never be subdivided or developed and will remain in agriculture.

You can order from their catalog and they ship in mid-summer, but they also open up a couple of fields--one of labeled types and another anonymous where you can dig "pot luck" (though not this year--you can look, but you can't dig ) during blooming season That way you get to see what you're getting. When we lived up there, it was a bit of a family tradition to go dig our own.

These were shipped as one or two fans each so not all are are established enough to bloom this year, but it looks like most of them will, though I think the blooms will be a bit smaller this year than in the future.

Here's the first one to open:


Go Lightly

I need TN and his camera up here to do it justice. The sun isn't out from behind the clouds this morning, so this is my best effort.
Those iris' are gorgeous!

Kansas State colors.
05-27-2020 11:02 AM
StrykersPerson
Quote:
Originally Posted by melbrod View Post
And I figured I might be be around as early as you guys for a change, but no....you're playing my game staying up late??

Anyway, I found this one for you guys (Bug, MC in particular). I think you're both familiar with these--they've have all been shown before--but the artist put them together in honor? of CoVid. I haven't been keeping up with him; I guess I need to play catch up. In the meantime:


Simon's Cat

Daily Routine (Stay Home Collection)
When self isolating it's important to maintain a routine!

That cat IS Screamer!
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