Yes they do, Melbrod. We're still feeling the absence each morning. My husband is looking at pups on-line. He doesn't know what to do. But we know we're not ready yet. We've got to change the carpet, Jake's leg bled so unbelievably bad, and Anya keeps looking for him in the morning. We just don't know what to do with ourselves. It takes a lot of time, but the days have become so much longer. We were both awake at 3am last night trying to understand what happened.
We know you all understand and that helps more than you can know. Thank you all, so very, very much!
Barb - I know the others on here are probably of hearing me talk about our Ali girl - But when we lost her - I leaned hard on this site and a few of the members on here - They were so helpful to us and now I feel its time to pay it back - as they say .
We lost Ali to cancer - it came from out of nowhere - she was gone in less than a month - I kept beating myself up ! What did I miss ? How could I have let this happen ? Ali had , had past medical issues - the Vets called her a miracle girl - yet with lots and lots of love and Professional Internal Med. Vets - Ole Ali girl made it - She depended on us to help her and we did - Yet this time - Dad and Mom could do nothing - nothing to make her well - We tried everything ! Members here offered there help but to face the facts - there was nothing we could do this time - No amount of money - meds - anything was going to save her , Yet we never , never give up on her .
It was on a Friday morning - Ali made a big turn for the worse - I had a talk with my wife and she agreed - it was time to set her free of the pain she had to have - yet never showed it - Poor Mr. B - he knew something was terribly wrong - he would take her favorite ball to her and lay it in front of her - drop down on his front knees and bark at her - wiling her to get up - Ali could do that no more - she could only show him her teeth - a game with them .
Doc came over to the house to set her pain free - that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do - Ali laid her head on my lap - my tears were running down the side of her face - I told her how sorry I was for not being able to make her well again - But Doc was here to take your pain away - then she closed her eyes - she was pain free and free to run again across the yard - to chase birds and airplanes - just the way it should be for a Doberman
We still have a break down it was so hard to let her go . Mr. B is so lost with out her - He loved her so , We know and understand - yet he don't and don't understand why - I guess we really don't either .
I wrote a few P.M.'s to poster on here - I needed to talk - they listened and gave great advise to me - Kadin was - is so lost - I thought about a rescue- a shelter dog ? anything to fill that void of a 2 dog house to a 1 dog house - it is to dang quite here !
Its been a few months now - yet feels like yesterday - I didn't know that people could cry that much . What I have learned from the others on here it's OK to grieve it's OK to cry - But we did - like you to give your Dobermans the best we could give them - Like you - I kicked myself - I was defended and I could not let that go - I had to do something wrong - I knew I did all I could - But cold not except that fact -
I have done the same thing as your husband - looking for a new little sis for Kadin - then like one poster said - them little pups have a way to find there forever home - I thought about that and it's so true ! Kadin came from thin air ! As little sis will - it will just happen -
As far as your other dog - she is confused - lost - the best thing it to just love her and hold her - cry with her - it will just take time - how much - I have no idea - but you all have to be there for each other .
Don't just rush out and get another dog just to have it around .
One last thing - When I took Ali to the VCA- the Vet told me she had had her cancer for up to 6 months - her best guess was no more than 2 and a half months - Your Jake just did not wake up with his lymphoma - he had it a while and like Mel said - there may have been a trigger there for the swelling - I also read that lymphoma is a common cancer in mid age dogs - But I truly believe that he shot had nothing to do with Jakes passing - it just happened and is adding guilt to yeah = like me beating myself up - your doing the same - when it was just the way life goes sometimes - its tuff . You did not do anything wrong - that is the first step .
I hope this helps some - I truly do - this is a hard deal to get over - Lean on us here if need be - they sure helped me with support - they will you too !
Thank you so much Ecin. It is so hard to give up someone that is so much a part of your life, I know you know that pain also. We're so lost. We were feeding him, even through syringes at the end. The Dr's said to keep him eating. We juiced his veggies, I'd drive an hour away to get all organic meat and vitamins and veggies - anything just to keep him another day. My husband wasn't sleeping for weeks on end, and yet he couldn't let go. He encouraged me to do the same. We prayed each day that we could see another. We're kicking ourselves much more because of the blood loss, the change of his beautiful golden eyes into black, and his wagging tail with everything we said to him. He trusted us even through all that pain. Maybe we waited too long.
We were raised in NY and were there for 50 years. We moved after 9-11. I've had a few problems with anxiety since then, but Jake always knew and comforted me. He'd sit with his beautiful head in my lap for hours, he would sit on the couch with me, cross his legs and we would have a "talk", all the while he'd be looking into my eyes and way down into my soul with those beautiful eyes.
After our chocolate lab passed, Jake was very lonely. We found Anya, who has a problem with separation anxiety, and he had such a calming effect on her also. He seemed to be wiser than wise, way beyond his years. There was so much love in his heart. I thank you for your kind heart! We know we'll go on - it's happened before. But Jake was so exceptional to our family. But we'll always say, as some of our Scandinavian ancestors would have said, those 6 years, "Yah, it was good"!
Thank you Ecin, good friend!
Glad that ECIN was able to tell his story. They are going through grief also........your stories are similar.
Stay in touch because it helps to know others are traveling the same road with you.
My first doberman,....his name was Mafia. He would always cross his legs.
He died from sudden death......I was home sick with the flu......we were outside getting some sunshine under the oak trees......and he appeared to be asleep.
I called his name .......and he did not answer. He was gone.........
I was so near to him reading magazines. Never heard a peep from him..........He had thryoid issues......and he was in early stages of renal failure.
My vet always warned me he would most likely pass via a sudden death and it would be quick and painless. It happened just that way .........he finished his time while sleeping under his favorite oak tree...... right next to me.
I was so angry with myself that I did not notice any problems thinking maybe I could have done something if had I been I paying closer was attention to him.
He seemed just fine that October day ...it was like any other day.
My neighbor ran over as he heard me screaming and sobbing.....and confirmed he was gone.
As the days and months went by......I went through waves of grief...........
Even yelled at God for not warning me so I could have given him some special trips to the park or something.
After a couple weeks of walking around with his leash around my neck I started walking the neighbors dog.
Poor dog never got any attention from their owners so I asked if I could borrow their dog in attempt to fill this void in my life.
The dog had fun....but I continued to grieve.
Then I swore I would never have another dog due to this grief that was just so unbearable to me, but I still walked their dog.
Then about 90 days later .......things became clearer to me.
As far as Mafia ..........a sudden death was actually the best thing for him as it was quick and painless.
It took me several months to realize that fact.
Also came to terms with Dobermans are my thing...it's what I do as a hobby........so then I knew I was ready to search for another puppy.
Found the puppy.
That dog's name is Hoss and he is now almost 4 years old and lives the life of a king!
Knowing that nothing is forever, each and everyday IS a special day.
With Hoss their is no pressure to perform or win contests.
Every training class I take with Hoss is just to have fun with him and enjoy every moment of time just havin fun.
You will continue to have grief .......when you do come to us.
We will share our stories and find a way to get you through that moment we have all experienced.
All of us have something in common......we are absolutely in love with our animals. Outsiders do not understand this, but we do!
God Bless you and yours during this sad time and just know we are right here, always!
Jake was such a handsome lovey. He reminds me of my old gal Coco. I loved rubbing those velvety ears. She loved it so much.
I just wrote in Sugar's thread that I cannot believe that next month on the 21st is 1 year ago we let Coco go and the 31st is Sugar's 1st birthday!!
I'm having a wee cry reading about everyone's great loss of these wonderful dogs. They're not even dogs. They are our family. I won't post Coco's story here but if you want to read it you can search through my posts. Like Docs Ali girl, Coco was the best girl.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family.
Thank you Lady Di, and Coco Loco. It does seem that we're different from others when it comes to our Dobermans. My husband never had one before Jake, and could never get over how much they take over your heart.
We're so glad to get to know you all, and so sorry you've been through it all, too.
I'm going to be 67 this month (still hanging on to 66 for a couple more weeks), so I want so much to share pictures on the gallery but my son will be over tonight and maybe we can figure it out (i'm not too computer savvy). My favorite pix are when we got little Anya - and Jake figured out who this cute little girl was. She picked up his leash that was still on him from a walk, and he let her walk him a few feet over to all her stuffed animals. It was so cute! Or some of the beautiful pix of his gorgeous face. I'd love to share these precious memories with all of you that have been so understanding and helpful to us. It's nice to look at the good times and always treasure them.
I know Jake was a blessing from God. On behalf of your losses also, of Mafia and Coco, I know God has opened the doors to our precious angels.
Take care of them, Oh Lord! And may he bless Hoss with a long and loved life!!
Sometimes the best thing to do is to foster a dog or two before deciding to get another permanent addition. Everyone handles the loss of a beloved dog differently - some people want a new puppy the next day, and some may never get another. Most people fall somewhere in between. It's never easy.
You're absolutely right, Mary Jo. We're still so mixed up and not able to make any good decisions right now. We're still holding on to the memory of Jake. It would be too fast because we'd only be trying to replace him, and that can't be done. We've got to get emotionally healed, we know that for sure. Thank you so much. Your advice helps to put things in perspective. It'll be a while before we catch our breath and get some peace about losing him. Then we'll know if we're able to handle 'starting over' again.
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