I need help getting over an infatuation.... - Doberman Forum : Doberman Breed Dog Forums
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post #1 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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I need help getting over an infatuation....

I'm pretty sure it's reciprocated but I can't act on it, he's not available.

It is driving me batty. I haven't been single for 8 years, plus I don't know that I have ever been both mentally and physically attracted so much to one person. Ususally it's mainly one or the other. I don't think it's because he's unavailable, because the first time he walked over and talked to me I didn't know he was unavailable and my heart leapt into my throat. It gets worse every week.

What do you do to get over a crush? When he talks to me I feel like I am going to vomit my heart is pounding so much.

Anyone have any good book reccomendations? Movies??? Available men you can send my way lol?

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post #2 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 02:46 PM
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rofl. vomit on him. that'll make you repulsing to him and he won't want to talk to you, which will help kill the crush.
make sure someone video tapes it and post it on the forum for the rest of us to see.

Try and imagine him doing repulsive things. picking his nose, scratching his butt with a pencil and putting it on someone's desk. Going to the bathroom and not washing his hands.

OR You could manipulate him into having a slight fling with you, get laid find out he's terrible in the sack and laugh that his wife/girlfriend has to deal with his small member.
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post #3 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 02:54 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Liisa View Post
rofl. vomit on him. that'll make you repulsing to him and he won't want to talk to you, which will help kill the crush.
make sure someone video tapes it and post it on the forum for the rest of us to see.

Try and imagine him doing repulsive things. picking his nose, scratching his butt with a pencil and putting it on someone's desk. Going to the bathroom and not washing his hands.

OR You could manipulate him into having a slight fling with you, get laid find out he's terrible in the sack and laugh that his wife/girlfriend has to deal with his small member.
LOL...okay your post made me giggle!!

I can't vomit on him, he's at a place I go regularly, & I doubt he would be terrible ...oops getting my pulse up again.

So I'll try imagining him picking his nose!!!

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post #4 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 02:56 PM
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I'd just try focusing on other things that were important to me and let it run its course. Because if it is just a crush, it will run its course whether or not anything comes of it.

Also, is he unavailable like he has a girlfriend? Or unavailable like he has a wife? If he has a girlfriend and the feelings are reciprocated then he could do something (like break-up with his girlfriend) to become available for you if he really wanted to.



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post #5 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 02:58 PM
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You must elaborate... and/or post pictures... or any advice we give you may be ill advised.
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post #6 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by brw1982 View Post
I'd just try focusing on other things that were important to me and let it run its course. Because if it is just a crush, it will run its course whether or not anything comes of it.

Also, is he unavailable like he has a girlfriend? Or unavailable like he has a wife? If he has a girlfriend and the feelings are reciprocated then he could do something (like break-up with his girlfriend) to become available for you if he really wanted to.
He is married. When we talk he is always talking about how he is thinking about leaving his wife, how he's found *someone* he's really interested in, blah blah blah...typical married man things that never happen. I've been married, I would not have wanted my ex to cheat on me, I couldn't do it to another woman.

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We're all just babies in my view"-
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post #7 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Like A Boxer View Post
You must elaborate... and/or post pictures... or any advice we give you may be ill advised.
Hmmm...elaborate. He is married, no kids with her, has one kid but he is grown. We talk at my kids practice, he works out at the gym. He is extremely buff, works out. At first I thought he was just being nice & complimenting me, then I thought he was just being a little flirtatious. Last week first he came over in his swim trunks, smelling of tanning oil and mansweat (the good kind), then he was in the hot tub (in the pool room, lol, plenty of people around), leaning out of it talking to me flexing his muscles, then by the end of practice he was calling me beautiful and the room was spinning. It ended by him saying "bye beautiful" and winking and me almost passing out along with my kids' swim coach. He is that hot. The only other men who hit on me there are old enough to be my grandpa.

Oh and Julia I keep trying to sneak a pic with my cell pretending to take a pic of the kids swimming but I can't!!!!

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post #8 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenTN View Post
Hmmm...elaborate. He is married, no kids with her, has one kid but he is grown. We talk at my kids practice, he works out at the gym. He is extremely buff, works out. At first I thought he was just being nice & complimenting me, then I thought he was just being a little flirtatious. Last week first he came over in his swim trunks, smelling of tanning oil and mansweat (the good kind), then he was in the hot tub (in the pool room, lol, plenty of people around), leaning out of it talking to me flexing his muscles, then by the end of practice he was calling me beautiful and the room was spinning. It ended by him saying "bye beautiful" and winking and me almost passing out along with my kids' swim coach. He is that hot. The only other men who hit on me there are old enough to be my grandpa.

Oh and Julia I keep trying to sneak a pic with my cell pretending to take a pic of the kids swimming but I can't!!!!

Find out if he is on the internet ...

I'd say just.. be careful.
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post #9 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:09 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Like A Boxer View Post
Find out if he is on the internet ...

I'd say just.. be careful.
That isn't getting OVER the infatuation!!!!

I am trying to be level-headed. I just need something to divert my attention!!!

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post #10 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:14 PM
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He's married, he's unhappy and he's just looking for a one night stand. Maybe some fun on the side.

He's using his drool worthy looks to try and manipulate you into becoming his mistress. You have your ethics, and stand by them. Deep down, he seems like a slight scumbag.
So, if you've had an ex cheat on you in the past, think of how incredibly hurtful that was for you, and how much you wouldn't wish that kind of feeling on another woman, and that any man who does that kind of thing isn't worth your time of day. It'll help him become repulsive to you.

Just a side note: some guys that are buff and work on their appearance quite a bit sometimes end up being a little less than satisfactory in the bedroom. Either that or he's done steroids, which gives little ball syndrome. hahahaha.
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post #11 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:16 PM
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Originally Posted by JenTN View Post
He is married. When we talk he is always talking about how he is thinking about leaving his wife, how he's found *someone* he's really interested in, blah blah blah...typical married man things that never happen. I've been married, I would not have wanted my ex to cheat on me, I couldn't do it to another woman.

Go to Mexico. Cause, what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico. Or Vegas. Same thing.
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post #12 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:16 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liisa View Post
He's married, he's unhappy and he's just looking for a one night stand. Maybe some fun on the side.

He's using his drool worthy looks to try and manipulate you into becoming his mistress. You have your ethics, and stand by them. Deep down, he seems like a slight scumbag.
So, if you've had an ex cheat on you in the past, think of how incredibly hurtful that was for you, and how much you wouldn't wish that kind of feeling on another woman, and that any man who does that kind of thing isn't worth your time of day. It'll help him become repulsive to you.

Just a side note: some guys that are buff and work on their appearance quite a bit sometimes end up being a little less than satisfactory in the bedroom. Either that or he's done steroids, which gives little ball syndrome. hahahaha.

HAHAHA I'm going to keep that qote in mind!!!! Ewwww!!!

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Why don't you teach me something new
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post #13 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:17 PM Thread Starter
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Go to Mexico. Cause, what happens in Mexico, stays in Mexico. Or Vegas. Same thing.
Hmm, he'd look really yummy on a beach.........

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post #14 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:20 PM
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Personally, I would take the complements and absorb the feelings he is making you feel. Welcome them as an awakening after the hell you were put through with your x.

Regardless of what he does, or doesn't do, with his wife is a moot point IMO. Fact is, you are human, he is awakening human emotions in you that have been dormant for a long time, and you are finally realizing what it is to be a vibrant, alive woman. You don't have to take it any further than that just enjoy your awakening. (sorry, that may sound corny but it is what it is)

As good looking as you say he is, he is still flirting with you while married and even if he did leave his wife to see where things went with you, in the back of your mind would be the worry "Is he flirting with another pretty girl when I'm not around?"


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post #15 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:23 PM Thread Starter
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Personally, I would take the complements and absorb the feelings he is making you feel. Welcome them as an awakening after the hell you were put through with your x.

Regardless of what he does, or doesn't do, with his wife is a moot point IMO. Fact is, you are human, he is awakening human emotions in you that have been dormant for a long time, and you are finally realizing what it is to be a vibrant, alive woman. You don't have to take it any further than that just enjoy your awakening. (sorry, that may sound corny but it is what it is)

As good looking as you say he is, he is still flirting with you while married and even if he did leave his wife to see where things went with you, in the back of your mind would be the worry "Is he flirting with another pretty girl when I'm not around?"

You hit the nail on the head. I was pretty much fealing asexual before this. Now I feel 15. I thought I had moved on past the crap my ex had drilled in my head, but I guess it's still there somewhere, because I really couldn't fathom why a guy that looks like that would talk to me for a minute, married or not.

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post #16 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:24 PM
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Grab coffee with him sometime and secretly invite his wife :p
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post #17 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:31 PM
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I know, it does feel weird to not be looked at as a mom, friend, sister or daughter when that is what you have been for so long and you're used to.

Don't let your feelings get a head of you (hell there's lots of sex shops that sell some pretty neat "Bob's" you know!!! hehe), or you and your kids may get burned, especially if they see him flirting with you when you think they're concentrating on their swimming.


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post #18 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:32 PM
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Something to remember. If he is not committed to the relationship he has with his wife, he is probably not going to be committed to any other relationship either. A responsible, ethical person (man or woman) who is in an unhappy marriage, would be honest with his/her spouse and end the marriage before beginning another relationship.

Many marriages don't work, but speaking negatively of ones spouse, spewing sob stories of ones unhappiness, and hitting on other women is not the type of person I would want to be involved with.

If he is genuinely unhappy, then he needs to grow a pair, and deal with that situation before dragging anybody else into that sort of mess.

Run.... fast and far. You can do much better.


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post #19 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:51 PM
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I agree with Avian. This guy is playing with you and not in a good way. Maybe he is more flexing his chic magnetizing abilities, not to say you are not totally worthy of the compliments, but he just sounds really suspect. It's fun to fantasize about this kind of forbidden situation (who hasn't?), so long as you don't trick your self into acting on it. The more you give it power in your mind by dwelling on it (tempting as that is), the more you become vulnerable to having a breakdown in your resolve. I'd make a clean break in your mind if at all possible. We women need to stick together against this kind of naughty boy. There will always be women who will back-stab another unsuspecting woman, which is too bad, but the rest of us need to stick together. And ultimately what goes around comes around. Sounds like you already know all this though! You sound like an honorable sort, and too smart to fall for this!
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post #20 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
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Hmmm...elaborate. He is married, no kids with her, has one kid but he is grown. We talk at my kids practice, he works out at the gym. He is extremely buff, works out. At first I thought he was just being nice & complimenting me, then I thought he was just being a little flirtatious. Last week first he came over in his swim trunks, smelling of tanning oil and mansweat (the good kind), then he was in the hot tub (in the pool room, lol, plenty of people around), leaning out of it talking to me flexing his muscles, then by the end of practice he was calling me beautiful and the room was spinning. It ended by him saying "bye beautiful" and winking and me almost passing out along with my kids' swim coach. He is that hot. The only other men who hit on me there are old enough to be my grandpa.
He really sounds like a player to me. He is priming you for the tune up with his dipstick.

He may be handsome but he knows it and I wonder if you would even be able to stand him if you really, really knew him. I mean what would you think of a close friends husband if he was talking to you about her. It is personal stuff he is discussing with you!!! He doesn't even know you, so why is he telling you the marriage is over??? There is that dipstick again, he just wants a lay in the hay and you don't know where all it has been.

Get your head together and maybe even pray for help with this crush you have. But do enjoy the compliments, you deserve them, and maybe look for someone in your church if you go. Otherwise, I have heard that laundrymats and grocery stores are good. Maybe even computer labs at libraries. I have had a couple of pick up lines here at the library. Does your hairdresser know anyone. My brother got fixed up that way.

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Last edited by LindaH; 03-10-2010 at 04:04 PM.
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post #21 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liisa View Post
rofl. vomit on him. that'll make you repulsing to him and he won't want to talk to you, which will help kill the crush.
make sure someone video tapes it and post it on the forum for the rest of us to see.

Try and imagine him doing repulsive things. picking his nose, scratching his butt with a pencil and putting it on someone's desk. Going to the bathroom and not washing his hands.

OR You could manipulate him into having a slight fling with you, get laid find out he's terrible in the sack and laugh that his wife/girlfriend has to deal with his small member.
I really don't think I've ever read a funnier comment on DobermanTalk. I have water all on my desk now. Thanks.

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post #22 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 05:01 PM
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He's still married and airing all their personal problems & bad mouthing his wife to another woman?? He's a douche bag. NEXT.



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post #23 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 05:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brw1982 View Post
He's still married and airing all their personal problems & bad mouthing his wife to another woman?? He's a douche bag. NEXT.
I'm with you!
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post #24 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 05:56 PM Thread Starter
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I dont know Kpablo, Linda's dipstick post was right up there! LOL

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Why don't you teach me something new
We're all just babies in my view"-
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post #25 of 88 (permalink) Old 03-10-2010, 05:57 PM
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This guy sounds extremely vain to say the least, not serious relationship material. I wouldn't go near him with a 10 foot pole.
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