Join Date: May 2010
Location: Reno, NV
Dogs Name: Ruxin 10/2009-12/2012 (RIP); Dante 09/2012
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Thanked 80 Times in 23 Posts
RIP Ruxin, I miss you
I don't post often but I enjoy the reading threads and have gotten a lot of wonderful doberman advice here.
On Thursday night, I lost my big, handsome, love-of-my-life red boy Ruxin. I was inside the house and my husband was in and out getting the trash together to take to the curb. We had the gate open, and Rux went out into the street and was hit. The vet said he likely died in less than a minute from internal bleeding.
Rux always hung around close to us and didn't leave the property even when horses or other dogs passed by. If I had any inkling that something like this would happen, I would never, ever have left the gate open. But it did happen and now we've lost our boy because of our stupid, stupid mistake.
I hate that my beautiful dog was killed so violently, and at only three years old. Every time I hear a car pass by I think of the horror of the accident. I know I let Rux down and it is a burden I will always carry with me.
I am devastated to have lost him. He was so, so special. He was handsome and graceful- tall, lean, and leggy, and he was so sweet. He snuggled with me under the covers on cold winter days, and loved to push his head against me for an ear massage. I woke up hugging him every morning, and I loved coming home to him at night. He went everywhere with us- hiking, camping, our friends' houses, our parents' houses, shopping, sometimes even to work with me. He saw me through my wedding, law school, the bar exam, an out-of-state move and the purchase of our first home.
He loved riding in the car, and sat in the back seat quietly and politely, like a person, with his back legs on the perched on the seat and his front legs on the floor. He liked to sprawl over our bed, reaching out with his long legs to take up as much of the king size bed as he possibly could. When he wanted something, he would sit and gaze at me so regally that I usually couldn't ignore the request, and if I did try to ignore him he would primly tap my knee with his paw to just to remind me that he was still there. He loved dragging his jolly ball over the ground gripped in between his front legs, eventually working enough of a groove into the hard plastic that he could take the giant thing into his mouth and triumphantly prance around the yard with it. He had the happiest smile, and when I held my hands out he would sit on his haunches and put both of his paws in mine.
We loved each other so much, and I told him that every day. I really did love everything about him- his face, his big paws, his soft ears, the weight of his head on my lap. He was so beautiful, so smart, so loving, and just special. I am so heartbroken at the loss I can't do anything but cry.
I love you, my brown dog. I miss you so much I can't stand it. I'm sorry I let you down, and I mourn the years we will never get to spend together because of it. I'm sorry you had to die alone on the side of the road. I'm sorry I will never get to see your muzzle gray as you become a little old man. I'm sorry I can't hug you right now and breathe in the scent of your fur. I'm sorry I can't go outside with you to play, and I'm sorry there aren't doggie footprints in the snow that started falling after you passed.
I don't know how I will live without you, but I hope you are in a better place and happy and whole, and that someday I will see you again. I love you forever and ever.