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Old 12-01-2012, 12:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Our Porter

Hi folks. I hope you'll welcome me back...I've only posted a few times but love this forum and have gotten so much valuable information. Thank you for that.

We had to let our Porter go yesterday. If he could speak, he would have asked. He was 10.5 years old, and the vet thinks it was nasal cancer. About a month ago, Porter had a left-sided nosebleed. The vet said it may be nothing, but we had to watch it. We were part of the NJ blackout for 8 days and we had our fireplace running all that time, so the vet said it could've been the dry air, too. He had one a week later. Then nothing for two weeks, bring us to this past weekend. We were away, but Porter's nanny said he had another on Saturday. We came home and he had another on Tuesday and another on Wednesday. At this point, he already had an appointment at the vet. Early Thursday morning at 1 AM, my husband and I woke up to Porter having a seizure. It was the most horrible thing I ever saw. We took him to the vet earlier than planned on Thursday, and by then - so quickly - his face was pushing up by his left eye, he couldn't chew anything, and he couldn't even open his mouth to drink. The vet said we could wait overnight and see if maybe he was just still post-ictal, with maybe a little damage from the seizure to his eye...but he said it didn't look good. He said he didn't think that was the case at all. Friday morning was no better...he was actually a little worse. My husband and I stayed home with him and just laid close to him, loving him. The vet came in the afternoon and gave Porter peace.

We are dying inside, and it feels like the world will end. The emptiness I have is unimaginable...the little things he did everyday are missed so much right now. My husband and I have no children by choice, and Porter was our baby. He was our family. The pain of losing him is the worst ache I've ever felt.

I hope our crazy baby is with us, watching us, and just making sure we're okay. Porter had the kindest soul of any being in the world...if anyone deserved to live forever, it was him.

Thank you all for listening. To know a Doberman is to love one.
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Old 12-01-2012, 12:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Im so sorry to hear of Porter's passing. 10.5 years, though not bad for dobes, is just not long enough. All the best
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Old 12-01-2012, 12:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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So very sorry for your loss. RIP Porter
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Old 12-01-2012, 01:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Sorry for your loss....he had lots of good years with you. Run free Porter.
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Old 12-01-2012, 02:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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so sorry.......

sleep softly Porter, rest in peace.
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Old 12-01-2012, 02:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
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So Sorry for your loss. Not a great time of year to lose a special family member like Porter! (though its never a good time)....rest in peace Porter.
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Old 12-01-2012, 02:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I am so sorry for your loss. Run free with no pain Porter
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Old 12-01-2012, 02:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You did what was best for Porter. It hurts so much, and you will miss him, but he wouldn't want to be the cause of your pain and sorrow. In time you will remember him with smiles and laughter. And he will live forever...in your hearts.
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Old 12-01-2012, 04:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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So very, very sorry for your loss. RIP and run free sweet Porter.
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Old 12-01-2012, 04:42 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You are all so wonderful. Thank you so very much for the support. It's nice when people understand that a dog can be a member of the family and not just an accessory.

And actually...can I get some opinions on this? Porter brought so much joy to our house, and we are missing that joy terribly. We always knew we would get another Doberman some time after Porter passed, but I thought it would be years after...secretly, I sometimes thought it would be never. There were times I anticipated never being able to live through that pain again, and that was even before Porter passed. It's surprising to find ourselves wanting another so soon - not as a replacement to Porter, because he can never, ever be replaced, but because we still have so much love inside us and just want the joy back. We just want that funny, smart, heartwarming Doberman energy in our lives again. Is this wrong? Is this an insult to Porter? I can't help feeling - stupidly, I'm sure - that he will wonder how we moved on so quickly.

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Old 12-01-2012, 05:25 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Everyone handles loss differently. There is no right or wrong time to bring another pup/dog into your life. My feeling is that these precious Dobermans that we lose would want us to be happy again...in honor of them...in honor of how they lived their lives! Whenever you are ready is the right time! Peace to you and your family during this time.
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Old 12-01-2012, 05:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I am sorry for the pain that you are going through RIP Porter. As far as bring another dobie into your lives only you can ans that question. When it is quiet and you have time to think you will the ans.
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Old 12-01-2012, 06:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I am so very sorry for your loss. We are never ready to lose these dogs, no matter how long they live.
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Old 12-01-2012, 07:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I have lots to say to you.

First, I am terribly sorry to hear about Porter. Knowing something was not right then to go through the trauma of a seizure, I know first hand, is terrifying. You provided a very good life for Porter and he clearly filled your heart with love and joy. I am sorry he is gone.

You mentioned you have no children, despite having 3 of my own the loss of my beloved Niko hit me hard, I can't imagine how you are feeling right now.

Regarding your question about bringing a new baby into your home. Niko was my heart and soul dog, I have owned many dobermans in my life and there will never be another dog like him, he was so special. I still mourn him. I refused to get another dog. When my husband and girls thought I had been given enough time to grieve, they asked about getting a puppy. NO! Don't ask me again. This went on for a bit then my husband said, either you find a dog or I will and if I do it who knows what we will end up with. Bottom line, they didn't think it was fair that I said no to a dog when they so desperately missed the joy a dog brings. I reluctantly conceded, and with the help of a dear friend found Luca's breeder. Truth be told, up until the very moment I laid eyes on Luca I was not into it, sssshhhhhh this fact will surprise everyone I talked to. Among other reasons, I felt like I would be "hurting" Niko by bringing in another dog so soon. 5 months later, once I saw him I, I just can't explain it, I melted. Now, Luca is no Niko, and I LOVE that! I went into this not comparing them, in fact I LOVE red boys, but I knew I had to go with a different color. Luca was sent to me, hence his name....Little Luck From Heaven! He comforts me, is funny, stubborn, beautiful, affectionate, protective and the best thing I didn't want to do!

My best to you!

BTW- I was born in Toms River and I sincerely hope that you have gotten back on your feet from the tremendous devastation that still remains.

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Old 12-01-2012, 08:00 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I read somewhere that when a person marries again soon after his spouse has died, it means he has had a good marriage and he wants the joy of having another happy marriage.
Don't know why that idea doesn't work with getting another dog.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 12-01-2012, 08:46 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Thank you ALL for sharing your opinions. Chatty, thank you for telling me your story, it brought me tears. But happy tears, thankfully.

The reason I asked is because I had a wonderful thing happen today. Porter was one of Laura Jones' dogs, and back when we bought him, we researched breeders carefully and felt confident going with her. And of course, she served us so well. I e-mailed her today to tell her about Porter, and just to casually ask if any litters were on the horizon. Imagine my surprise when she told me that (follow me here...) Porter's dog-mama's son was crossed with another beautiful pup, and there was one black male available from a litter whelped on October 10 by a different breeder that she trusted.

Porter's relative. And one left. It felt like Porter was sending a sign...maybe telling me that he wants us to give our love to another pup. Porter loved all people and all dogs, and that helps me to feel like he won't be jealous. He loved every single living thing...how could he not be excited that there'd be a puppy in his house.

Also...I know this sounds so strange, but my husband bought me a beautiful locket so that I could always have some of Porter close to my heart. I'll never tell anyone what's in there...they'll think I've lost it. But it will be a comfort to me, and it will ease my heartbreak.

Lots to say there, sorry. Still just navigating through this endless, soul-sucking grief. Thank you all.
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Old 12-01-2012, 09:22 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Your Porter will never be forgotten, but they can live on some...in the form of a new one.
Because they each bring so much love in our lives and the "Porter paw print" has been forever implanted in your family hearts.
- just as Chatty did after loosing Niko, I recently did the same after loosing Amy

We know its hard, and when they get sick:
Its difficult for our dobes too as they always wanted to make us truly happy and now its all sadly, doom & gloom time.
- get your puppy, Porter will smile on you, from doggy heaven above...your guardian buddy, at work
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Last edited by Beaumont67; 12-01-2012 at 09:37 PM..
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Old 12-01-2012, 10:18 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP Porter.


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Old 12-02-2012, 08:58 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet boy. I believe also that Porter will always live on in your heart. They are never with us even close to long enough.

As to another pup in your life...you will know what is right. We lost our girl, a red, when she was 13 1/2 years old. The pain was so great that my husband said he couldn't do it again. I started checking with breeders and registered with rescues. After 6 months we found and rescued Ruger. Your new "child" will never replace Porter, but will start a new chapter of happiness and love. Best to you and your family.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:30 AM   #20 (permalink)
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We are so sorry to hear of your loss.

Rest in peace dear Porter, may Angels sing sweet lullabys as you sleep.
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:51 AM   #21 (permalink)
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So sorry to hear of your loss & the heartbreak you & your husband are going through. I understand where you're coming from when you say you have so much love to give & just want the joy back. We lost our doberboy earlier in the year & our house was dogless for the first time in many many years. It was so quiet & empty, we couldn't stand it & within a week of losing Homer we had adopted rescue no.4 Trooper from our local dobe rescue. I know some people may think that's way too quick but for us it was the right thing to do. Trooper was in no way a replacement for Homer for nothing could ever have replaced my sweet boy but he gave us something to focus on & love & helped to ease our broken hearts.

I'm sure Porter will be watching over you, happy that you will have a new puppy that will be showered with all the love & affection that you once gave to him. You will never forget your precious boy, he will always be a part of your heart & in a way you will be honouring him & his life & how much he meant to you by opening your heart to another dobe. I hope it all works out well for you.

Big hugs to you & your husband.
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Old 12-02-2012, 11:53 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Thank you all for your beautiful words. JobeyV, you made me cry.

I do think Porter will enjoy his little buddy. Because I can feel him here...I know he's hanging around. The new one is going to be named Grizzly or The Hulkster... We have to see him first.

Here's our Porter, looking beautiful as he always did.

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Old 12-02-2012, 12:08 PM   #23 (permalink)
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the thing about this breed is that once you have truly been 'owned' by one............

well, you already know where i am going with this.

Hugz to you and yours.
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Old 12-02-2012, 02:44 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Awww bless you, I didn't mean to make you cry.

Thank you for sharing a pic of Porter with us, what a handsome boy he was.
I hope your new puppy helps to mend your broken hearts & brings loads of doberfun into your lives. I think Porter would approve.

More hugs to you & hubby.
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Old 12-02-2012, 03:08 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry for your loss :'(


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