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Old 01-16-2013, 08:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I'll keep Bruce, but the husband is free to a good home...

Or I may even pay you to take him...At this point I think rehoming him is the right idea

So Bruce is coming along incredibly, he knows his commands and 90% of the time listens to the harder ones ("come", "stay", "off" when in regards to the cats immediately). "Sit", "down", "look", "off" (when not about the cats) are all flawless with him. He is 16 weeks old tomorrow, so still very much a wild and crazy puppy.

Here's the "problem", when hubby gets home Bruce goes from my angel puppy to this wild eyed, crazy hellion lol. I know exactly why, the husband gets him wound up, and plays with him but NEVER trains or works with him. Bruce is very bitey when he is wound up, he knows now after one try with me, and a stern "AHH" from me that he went too far, but with hubby he just keeps going constantly. I keep telling my darling other half how to handle it, and he will use those tactics maybe one in 10 times, the other 9 times he's all over the place, arms flailing and repeating commands about a million times.

Last night I intervened like I always do, put a leash on Bruce and made him stay next to me until he calmed down. Hubby turned to me, and I kid you not, said "I thought you were going to train that dog, whatever you're doing doesn't work, good job". You can imagine what came next...a LOOOOONG lecture about how my methods are working very well, and that the problem is him, not Bruce (or my training). That he can't expect a playful puppy to understand what he wants if he is not consistent and doesn't show him what is expected. I have explained this a million times to him, how he can't give a million commands, and be all over the place and then never praise when the desired behavior is achieved (Bruce thrives on positive praise, but will take any kind of attention when he wants to play with the hubby so they kind of butt heads there). All he is doing is winding Bruce up and confusing the hell out of him.

Bruce really has a lovely temperament, but when he gets wound up watch out (at least the hubby has to watch out). I swear though, I have repeated myself a million times, the hubby never works WITH me, never does as he's told, and then gets mad at me because the dog doesn't listen to him. Then when I get frustrated because it is clear as day what he is doing wrong with Bruce, he gets mad at me for calling him on it. I told him last night "I'm not magic, you can't expect someone to train your dog and have him be perfect if you won't do YOUR part". Seriously...men, what is wrong with them?!

End of rant, but really if anyone wants a husband...he's great with kids, and cats, fully housebroke but kind of sucks with helping around the house. He DOES own his own business, and works very hard though, so I guess there's that. Let me know.

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Old 01-16-2013, 08:18 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Thanks but no thanks on the husband,but Bruce sounds fun!
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I had/have the same problem with my father. He didn't want to break Ivan's spirit when he was puppy. So now when Ivan acts like a wild child around him he thinks the problem is Ivan. Um, no. Ivan is behaving the way you trained him.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks but no thanks on the husband,but Bruce sounds fun!
Lol good call .

Bruce is great, just a puppy. I forgot to add it was the hubby who was hell bent on a doberman (and a male one at that). I love dobes but wasn't as set when we first started our puppy hunt, there were a few breeds I wanted to consider (dobes being one). I knew exactly what we were in for, and told him. Now I find myself reminding him constantly that he was forewarned what dobe puppies are like.

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I had/have the same problem with my father. He didn't want to break Ivan's spirit when he was puppy. So now when Ivan acts like a wild child around him he thinks the problem is Ivan. Um, no. Ivan is behaving the way you trained him.
Frustrating isn't it?! The problem here is that he has no problem disciplining Bruce, but he is doing it so very wrong. All he achieves is winding the dog up more, but wont listen to me because he claims what I'm telling him to do doesn't work. I keep telling him it absolutely does work if you are consistent, and clear about it. I want to set up a camera and record how amazing Bruce is all day with me to show him as a "haha I told you so" lol.

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Old 01-16-2013, 08:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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My husband does the same thing. The way we viewed it is that she is a puppy and there was no sense in disciplining her for being a puppy. Not everyone feels the same and wants to tolerate that and I understand that.

Even though my puppy is almost 10 months now, she is starting to chill out when it comes to him. She still gets crazy for the first five minutes he is home, and then it turns into normal playing. I think she will grow out of it as she ages, and I hope yours does as well! Good luck! Enjoy puppyhood.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:41 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My husband does the same thing. The way we viewed it is that she is a puppy and there was no sense in disciplining her for being a puppy. Not everyone feels the same and wants to tolerate that and I understand that.

Even though my puppy is almost 10 months now, she is starting to chill out when it comes to him. She still gets crazy for the first five minutes he is home, and then it turns into normal playing. I think she will grow out of it as she ages, and I hope yours does as well! Good luck! Enjoy puppyhood.
I don't mind them playing, but Bruce takes it too far with him. He has broken skin (very mildly), and ripped his clothes. He doesn't get that wound up with anyone else (he used to but has since learned his boundaries). I still don't blame Bruce though, he is just trying to play, and the way my husband reacts only winds him up more.

I should also say, when he does play with him Bruce usually calms down, but will resume the crazy biting if he tries to stop playing and do something else. He has my husband whipped I think. He has certainly learned that biting him gets a "fun" reaction, and gets him attention. It's really a matter of he doesn't "respect" my husband. He rarely listens to him, and I can't blame him because he has no clue what is expected of him so how can he listen?! The hubby needs more training than Bruce lol.

Something kind of funny from last night. Bruce was wound up, and jumped at me to play bite. The minute I said "AHH" his butt hit the floor and his expression was hilarious "ohhhh whoops, wrong human". My husband looked pretty mad too, and I had to stop myself from laughing because it just proves that Bruce is not "hopeless" or aggressive or anything else, and that he is learning when corrected/taught properly.

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Old 01-16-2013, 08:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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It is because men know everything and nothing is ever their fault.

It's always the wife's fault, even if she's not present.
Hahaha, thanking this post doesn't feel like enough. This is so incredibly true.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:53 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Maybe we should have a club?

Granted, Elka doesn't go wild (not anymore, anyway), but there are certainly things that she does for and around the fiance that she would never dream of trying with me.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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It sounds like you're flailing your arms, lecturing, and repeating yourself a lot with your husband...I'd tell him once and sternly, then just be consistent in your actions with him after that. If it works for dogs, surely it can work for husbands.

I jest, but in all seriousness, I'd probably enroll hubby and puppy in a training class together. Not because the pup needs it but because the hubby does. If he won't make an effort to train of his own accord (and be consistent with what is already working for you) then I'd send them to training class together. Sometimes, in relationships, it's helpful for the guidelines and directions to come from a 3rd party. People can get really touchy over being told how to raise a pup or interact with them but the sting is usually removed when it's not coming from their spouse. I've already told BF he's required (by me) to enroll in at least one puppy class with our next dog.

I feel fortunate that my BF is becoming accustomed to how handle dogs with my adult dogs. He's their play buddy and loving punching bag, much like it sounds your husband is for Bruce, but I was the sole trainer/enforcer in their lives for a few years before I met him so they're well under control even when he gets them worked up - they already know what's allowed and what's not; he's not in any danger of messing up their manners. *phew* LOL Though they do both steal his food off the kitchen counter when I'm not in the room and he turns his back...hmm...oh well, they don't do it to me! LOL LOL
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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It sounds like you're flailing your arms, lecturing, and repeating yourself a lot with your husband...I'd tell him once and sternly, then just be consistent in your actions with him after that. If it works for dogs, surely it can work for husbands.

I jest, but in all seriousness, I'd probably enroll hubby and puppy in a training class together. Not because the pup needs it but because the hubby does. If he won't make an effort to train of his own accord (and be consistent with what is already working for you) then I'd send them to training class together. Sometimes, in relationships, it's helpful for the guidelines and directions to come from a 3rd party. People can get really touchy over being told how to raise a pup or interact with them but the sting is usually removed when it's not coming from their spouse. I've already told BF he's required (by me) to enroll in at least one puppy class with our next dog.

I feel fortunate that my BF is becoming accustomed to how handle dogs with my adult dogs. He's their play buddy and loving punching bag, much like it sounds your husband is for Bruce, but I was the sole trainer/enforcer in their lives for a few years before I met him so they're well under control even when he gets them worked up - they already know what's allowed and what's not; he's not in any danger of messing up their manners. *phew* LOL Though they do both steal his food off the kitchen counter when I'm not in the room and he turns his back...hmm...oh well, they don't do it to me! LOL LOL
Haha, you're so right, I am doing with him exactly what he is doing with Bruce!

I told him last night that he needs to do the puppy classes with Bruce, not me. It will be tough for me to schedule him so he can but yes, I completely agree that he really needs it (more than Bruce does). I've done puppy classes with every dog I've owned, so it's nothing new to me, but he has never done any kind of training with his dogs. Since listening to me doesn't work I will let someone else tell him exactly what I already have.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:36 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Depending on where you are, my hubby did a class at Who's Walking Who in Ajax, with Roxy, and they both learned a TON!
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:46 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Oh gosh, I feel your pain.

Boyfriend does none of the dog training but gets frustrated when they don't listen. He also doesn't correct them in any way for bad behavior - just loves on them. This does nothing in Dreizehn's case but now he is the apple of Ruthie's eye because of the behavior and once he gets home it's like her and I were nothing and all training was forgotten (I'm sure this is partially my fault).

I feel your pain but I"ll pass on the husband =P
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:50 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Hahaha, thanking this post doesn't feel like enough. This is so incredibly true.
Hahahah...thanks!

My last husband taught me the meaning of "d@mned if you do and d@mned if you don't". Cause you were d@mned if you didn't do what he said, but if you did it you were d@mned because you didn't do it right.

Haha...now that's sounding like what a husband must feel like when breaking down and helping his wife do housework!
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:06 AM   #15 (permalink)
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OMG I know! I adore my husband, but if there's one thing we don't see eye-to-eye on, it's Delta's training!


In other related news, my come cure is so poisoned I need to start over. Fortunately, I have a 4-day weekend coming up so I think we'll do some hardcore learning it this weekend. (I think we're going to use "koko," Japanese for "here.")

The question is - how do I keep the husband from poisoning the new one?? It's not like I can train in secret, certainly not something that needs as much reinforcement as recall...


ETA: Sending him with Delta to a class would be challenging time-wise, and we'd have trouble agreeing on a trainer! I'd want a positive reinforcement-based class and he'd want to go to one of the numerous crank-and-yank or Cesar Milan-wannabe trainers around here. How did you get your hubby to agree to go to one that uses your methods that he thinks "don't work"??
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:10 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I say put the leash on hubby when he comes home. No, I don't wany another husband. I've had this one for 32 years, NEWS FLASH.......they don't change. You can't train them either.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:54 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I call this "inducing hilarity." As in, "honey, stop it, you're inducing hilarity." I believe I read that phrase many years ago. In any case, I personally think you should stop hubby from doing this. I think you meant this more as a funny post and I understand, but this sets patterns of behavior that you may not be able to break. Put Bruce away when hubby comes home - then put hubby away when Bruce is out. Cute puppy behavior becomes more dangerous as they get older and larger. Maybe get a shock collar for hubby.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:02 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by dobergrrl View Post
I call this "inducing hilarity." As in, "honey, stop it, you're inducing hilarity." I believe I read that phrase many years ago. In any case, I personally think you should stop hubby from doing this. I think you meant this more as a funny post and I understand, but this sets patterns of behavior that you may not be able to break. Put Bruce away when hubby comes home - then put hubby away when Bruce is out. Cute puppy behavior becomes more dangerous as they get older and larger. Maybe get a shock collar for hubby.
Oh don't worry, I always interfere and correct Bruce properly. It is just incredibly frustrating that hubby can't figure this out for himself, and is making more work for me than is necessary. I've been trying to set Bruce up today to work on his biting a little more...not working, he tried once and instantly released and sat. I will just have to keep at him once everyone is home tonight.


I did threaten the hubby with a shock collar by the way.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:09 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by dobergrrl View Post
I call this "inducing hilarity." As in, "honey, stop it, you're inducing hilarity." I believe I read that phrase many years ago. In any case, I personally think you should stop hubby from doing this. I think you meant this more as a funny post and I understand, but this sets patterns of behavior that you may not be able to break. Put Bruce away when hubby comes home - then put hubby away when Bruce is out. Cute puppy behavior becomes more dangerous as they get older and larger. Maybe get a shock collar for hubby.
"Inducing hilarity" in that the dog getting hyped up and zoomy is hilarious, or in that the dog thinks your husband is funny?
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:15 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Maybe you should use a prong? On your husband I mean.

I am a husband and will now leave the wives to their planning...
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:18 AM   #21 (permalink)
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haha it must be a "husband" thing. Mine wants well behaved dogs, however wants to do little to accomplish this. He ignores Nexus's ravings at the tv for a few mins then explodes on her and sends her to her bed. This gives her the impression she can go crazy and not worry about action .. now being he is the one who watches tv, and he is the one in the room I expect him to be the one to reign her in as SOON as she starts her tyrade, however he doesnt. She is great with sitting as soon as she comes in from outside to have her paws wiped, she sits by her dish at feedings until told she can eat, but when it comes to her outbreaks of barking at anything he is so lax in curbing it that it is out of control .
Maybe we should find training classes for the husbands on how to cooperate with us on training.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:24 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Maybe we should find training classes for the husbands on how to cooperate with us on training.
Maybe we should START these classes ourselves...I bet we could make millions. If only we could actually figure out how to train them.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:33 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leliel View Post
OMG I know! I adore my husband, but if there's one thing we don't see eye-to-eye on, it's Delta's training!

In other related news, my come cure is so poisoned I need to start over. Fortunately, I have a 4-day weekend coming up so I think we'll do some hardcore learning it this weekend. (I think we're going to use "koko," Japanese for "here.")

The question is - how do I keep the husband from poisoning the new one?? It's not like I can train in secret, certainly not something that needs as much reinforcement as recall...

ETA: Sending him with Delta to a class would be challenging time-wise, and we'd have trouble agreeing on a trainer! I'd want a positive reinforcement-based class and he'd want to go to one of the numerous crank-and-yank or Cesar Milan-wannabe trainers around here. How did you get your hubby to agree to go to one that uses your methods that he thinks "don't work"??
When I first told my BF he shouldn't repeat commands because the dogs learn they can ignore him, he misunderstood and would call them to come, but if they didn't, he'd just let them be. LOL I realized this one day when I stepped out into the yard with the 3 of them and he called them, they ignored him and kept playing, so he just sat down at the patio table. I was like, "What are you doing?" He said, "You told me not to repeat myself with them." I said, "Yeah, well, now you go get them!" LOL LOL

I clarified that just meant he had to enforce what he wanted if they ignored him. I spent some time working with him and the dogs to make sure he understood what all of that meant - not repeating yourself, when to give a command, how to enforce a behavior, and when to mark & reward them in the process. LOL I have no idea how long he'd been giving them a command, getting ignored, and accepting defeat. No wonder they love him!
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:48 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Sorry but you need to turn your husband over to a qualified rescue.

That being said...mine is really bad at follow through. I have told him time and time again, no you can't say sit 5 times and then not do anything about it. This is super bad with Eli. Eli is 4 years old and finally hubby is kinda of getting it. He will say "down" one time on the field now and won't throw the ball until Eli downs for him. It is so strange to me how the dog does so differently between us. He totally messes with hubby because hubby allows it.

Personally I would never ever allow my husband to get my puppy all crazy in the house. I am totally in charge when we have a puppy. Some people in my life have mentioned I'm "anal" regarding our new pups and perhaps that has some *cough* validity. However in my defense my dogs are well behaved. I think hubby ignores or shuts down because I am so picky. I believe with a new pup everything is training and when you are trying to keep a pup from bitey stuff you don't play rough with them, you direct play. Yeah, see why hubby shuts me off. LOL LOL. You can't feed them from the table one day and expect them to leave you alone the next. I am not flexable regarding puppy behavior because how is the poor pup to learn if not for consistency? I am not harsh, in fact I'm gentle but setting up a pup to successful and good is the way I roll. LOL LOL. You can play with puppy, use a tug, use a ball, crazy wrestle where the puppy bites and has a time calming down is a no. That being said pups have different temperaments. I can let my collie puppy wrestle with my bathrobe when I walk because he will stop when I ask. I can't explain to husband how I know what each dog can handle so I just take charge. My husband loves the dogs but puppies, you only have so much time. LOL LOL.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:55 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Personally I would never ever allow my husband to get my puppy all crazy in the house. I am totally in charge when we have a puppy. Some people in my life have mentioned I'm "anal" regarding our new pups and perhaps that has some *cough* validity. However in my defense my dogs are well behaved. I think hubby ignores or shuts down because I am so picky. I believe with a new pup everything is training and when you are trying to keep a pup from bitey stuff you don't play rough with them, you direct play. Yeah, see why hubby shuts me off. LOL LOL. You can't feed them from the table one day and expect them to leave you alone the next. I am not flexable regarding puppy behavior because how is the poor pup to learn if not for consistency? I am not harsh, in fact I'm gentle but setting up a pup to successful and good is the way I roll. LOL LOL. You can play with puppy, use a tug, use a ball, crazy wrestle where the puppy bites and has a time calming down is a no. That being said pups have different temperaments. I can let my collie puppy wrestle with my bathrobe when I walk because he will stop when I ask. I can't explain to husband how I know what each dog can handle so I just take charge. My husband loves the dogs but puppies, you only have so much time. LOL LOL.
I totally agree, it's at the point where hubby doesn't start it though, Bruce just turns into crazy puppy with him (because of, I believe, a lack of consistency and training on his part, and rougher play at other times).

I keep telling him that he is setting Bruce up for failure when he reacts the way he does. That he needs to set him up for praise when he does something good instead. He just got home a little while ago, and I had Bruce on the leash when I heard the van pull up. I completely controlled the entire situation this time, and when Bruce grabbed his arm in his mouth I instantly gave the off command and then treated (with a high value treat) when he let go and sat. So far he hasn't attempted to go crazy on him, he is actually sleeping next to him right now. I guess I just have to have FULL control at all times right now, which is fine with me, I just really wanted hubby to have some part in his training and at least be on board. lol

Edit* That kind of makes it sound like I ignore behavior or haven't always had control in the past, which isn't true. I'm always on Bruce when he is not behaving, I just have figured out now that I can't expect hubby to take any part in his training because he obviously has no clue, and only intensifies the behavior with his "methods". So I'm going to go "anal" in regards to the situation, I want Bruce to be the good little puppy he usually is ALL the time, and with everyone.

On the plus side, I took a video today to show the hubby I set Bruce up by leaving my slippers on the floor, when he came running by the kitchen with one I said "leave it" and he dropped it instantly and came running over to me. I showed hubby when he got home, and all he could say was "oh, I guess it is working".

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