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Puppysick and heartbroken : (

8K views 110 replies 45 participants last post by  dapple 
#1 ·
Found an incredible breeder, and it so happened that a black male became available after I had started talking with her. Went ahead and sent a deposit and bought a crate, nametags and collar for him. Just found out that the family that had originally put a deposit down for a black male (then changed their minds to Brown) changed their minds AGAIN and now I am heartbroken : ( I have been looking for a puppy from a reputable breeder within 4 hours of my home for 4 months and am getting pretty discouraged at this point.

Now this might seem crazy, but I don't have any kids of my own and this puppy was going to be our baby... and now I feel so dissappointed that he's not coming home. I'm at a loss.

The breeder was very kind and offered to send back my deposit or to hold it for her next litter. She has been so helpful in my search, and has spent hours on the phone with me talking about dobermans and giving me training advice... I would really love to have one of her puppies knowing the amount of expertise and support I would get, but at the same time my SO and I got so excited about this puppy that we're going to find it very difficult to wait months and months before her next litter.

Has anyone else gone through this heartbreak before, and what was your decision? Thanks!!
 
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#2 ·
Wow, that really seems unfair, of that family.

Sorry for the rollercoaster of puppy breath anticipation.

If I felt that strongly I'd found the right breeder, and liked the sire and dam of the next breeding, I'd personally wait--and get my dog fix by volunteering somewhere in the meantime.
 
#3 ·
Part of me is hoping that the family will change their minds again... Just the fact that the breeder is being so accommodating to them says a lot to me about how much she supports her families. Maybe they have gotten puppies from her in the past and she has a good relationship with them, I just don't know. On the one hand she is being fair, they did put down a deposit first, and she never cashed my check. Just really, really hoping that I get him in the end... It's almost like a gut feeling telling me that it's going to work out, or maybe I'm just being overly optomistic! I mean, if they changed their minds twice, it can happen again, right? :please:
 
#4 ·
wow :( thats horrible and really crappy of the other family. Also, while I admire the breeders accommodating nature, there has to be a line drawn. This is not fair to those who have been patiently waiting. I agree, volunteer until the next litter. Sometimes, the wait can be worth it and I don't know if you believe in fate, but I'm a believer of everything happens for a reason and the old saying "good things come to those who wait" seems to come to mind :) I'm sorry this has happened.
 
#5 ·
Why don't you take the red puppy?

Honestly, when I buy a puppy, there may be a color preference, but the color is not a deal breaker...well except for a dilute. But between red and black, I'll take whichever is available.
 
#6 ·
^^^Good point. It didn't compute for me, that the other family's indecision might mean there'd be a red boy then available.

Gosh, I'd jump at that.

I'm biased, but...red boys will always be best, to me :D
 
#12 ·
Sorry you are going through this. When I was getting my first Dobe in 2000, I was sure that I wanted a black/rust male. The breeder called me and said all they have left is a red female if I wanted her. I said no thanks, then decided to just look even though I knew I wouldn't want her. Once I saw her, my heart melted, and I quickly changed my mind. I had her for 12 years and she was the very best dog I have ever known in my life. She was my first Dobie. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason.:)
 
#13 ·
I'm sorry about your rollercoaster. Welcome to DT.

I just have a question... why didn't the breeder pick the pup for you? Usually you can give them a preferred color/gender but in the end they pick the pup that is right for you. Although, I chose from my preference and a few others that would have fit my lifestyle anyway, I was set on one. I feel like the breeder picking which pup goes where is a lot easier for everyone involved. Just wondering.

Which breeder were/are you looking into?
 
#17 ·
This is what I was thinking also. Occasionally I know a breeder might say ok blue and green are best suited for your family and you can pick between the two. Maybe it's a situation like that?

I personally pick by temperament more than color. I do have a color preference but if what I want next time is in a red package vs black, I'm still taking her home :)
 
#14 ·
Wow that sucks. But I have to agree with everyone else, when I first started looking I was set on a black, then I happened across Rowan who met all the criteria I had in my mind except colour and as soon as I saw him he was mine and now reds are definitely my favs, but I'm already picturing a little black sister in a couple years ;)


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#18 ·
We also don't have kids and searched for ages for a litter before we managed to reserve a puppy. Even then I didn't want to get my hopes too high in the event something like what you had happened - I hear where you're coming from.

I gave my breeder a detailed description of our situation and facilities - old chihuahua bitch, old cat, school nearby with starter guns, fireworks, work schedules, what we want the dog for etc. She chose the puppy for us. I looked after Griffin's littermate for a few nights and the difference in temperament was obvious ( Griffin is not nearly as high-drive as his brother). His brother went to a house with 2 young dogs and a full house of people (lots of activity). Griffin has a perfect temperament for our situation. So I'm really glad we went though the wait and that the breeder chose for us - perhaps the temperament of the pup that became available wasn't so suitable but you can be sure you will get the right puppy for you if you wait for the next litter. Otherwise, tell the breeder you don't want to wait (I waited for 2 matings which didn't result in litters before finding another breeder) and ask if she can make a recommendation - the flight for the puppy is not that bad.
 
#22 ·
I think what is really screwing you here is the color preference. What exactly would you be settling with? A different color? What happens if 1 or the 3 Red Males if not all have a better disposition and are a better match for you than the sole black male still available?

When we were looking for a puppy, I had a color preference of black as well, vs my wife who wanted a red, but after looking at a few and really figuring things out, we realize color was not important, which is why we went with none of the puppies we looked at, then came along a bad breeder trying to get rid of her last puppy for $200, so we called her up, told her if she needed it gone, then give it to us, she said come and look at her and she will think about it, so we did, and we came home with her, better yet for free, not supporting a BYB, but giving a puppy a good home.

My point out of all of this is, we were each set on a color, but yet, none of the puppies, regardless of color we looked at fit us, then with an open mind, we found Chloe, which ended up working into my wife's favor, BUT, we are both very pleased with her.
 
#23 ·
We were originally "set" on a red boy, and I am hoping that we can eventually find the "whole package", a dog with the temperament and look that we want. This breeder is still 3 hours away, a little longer than I'd like to drive if we're just visiting puppies and not going to take one home. Plus, I think my SO knows I'd fall in love lol...
 
#26 ·
Now there's a group of red boys that I can choose from, but my SO is really bent on black. He doesn't think we should "settle" if we're making this much of an investment in a puppy, that it should be exactly what we're looking for.
I have had many black and some red, and this time I crossed my fingers and hoped for the red bitch but wouldn't tell the breeder that I had a color preference - 2 bitches - 1 red, 1 black.

I got the RED!! see my avatar.

I want my dogs to be comfortable out in the sun and I have found that black dogs start to heat up around 75* whereas red dogs don't heat up until around 85* while in the sun. The color difference is beneficial. Also, my black dogs lose their heat faster and in winter they are coldest.

Red dogs have a little more attitude (just my imagination of course), but they are so beautiful. I love my black boy and my red girl very much. I also have a dark red kelpie and a black dobieX. Lost a red male in 2011 and a black male puppy in 2009.

The color will make no difference once you have the puppy, believe me, no difference. Maybe you occasionally will have a whimsical "what if" thought, but the personality and the dobe-ness will more than make up for any perceived color preference.
 
#27 ·
3 hours may not be a bad drive just to see if any personalities match what you are looking for (you and SO put color preference aside at the time, I know it's hard to do). I wouldn't make any huge decisions while there just because they are cute puppies...if this breeder matches dogs with families, then she knows what she's doing. If it's meant to be, the right one will or will not be there.

When I got mine, I was SET on a red male and said that I would not get a black and tan. The rescue lady called me about a boy that matched our lifestyle and other dogs personalities, but he was black. I almost said no, but decided to keep an open mind and drive the distance to check him out...and instantly fell in love, color didn't matter to me anymore. I love my black and tan boy, but I will one day have a red to go along with him :)
 
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#29 ·
SO said no : ( and I know the red boy is gonna be gone fast too, she said there was someone really interested in him already if I didn't want him. There's no convincing him of doing anything he doesn't want to... Stubborn boys. Yet he was getting impatient about having to wait 5 weeks for the puppy to come home... And he'd rather wait months to get a black puppy than take a red? Oh well...

BTW the puppy's collar came in today too, I let the cat wear it for a while but he was not impressed! A little to wide for his liking! He ran into a corner before I got the chance to take a picture : /


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#31 · (Edited)
I understand what the issue is, but this just isn't a dog issue it does not sound like.

Your SO and yourself need to be able to compromise and meet in the middle, that is what my wife and I had to do.

In the long run, color means so much less than everything else, including overall companionship.

Also as far as your issue with the 3 hour drive, We did the same exact thing, along with the ear cropping, if a puppy is really worth it to you and your SO, you will do what it takes to find the right dog, even if it means "settling" on a different color, especially if not getting that single black male means that much to you, I would give one of the Red males a look.


Also to the OP, I am by no means trying to attack you, but I really hope you guys understand how little of a concern color is in this type of situation, especially if you are dead set on wanting a puppy RIGHT NOW. Go in with an open mind, check out the red males, and see what you think.

Also, have you met the Black male yet?
 
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