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Puppysick and heartbroken : (

8K views 110 replies 45 participants last post by  dapple 
#1 ·
Found an incredible breeder, and it so happened that a black male became available after I had started talking with her. Went ahead and sent a deposit and bought a crate, nametags and collar for him. Just found out that the family that had originally put a deposit down for a black male (then changed their minds to Brown) changed their minds AGAIN and now I am heartbroken : ( I have been looking for a puppy from a reputable breeder within 4 hours of my home for 4 months and am getting pretty discouraged at this point.

Now this might seem crazy, but I don't have any kids of my own and this puppy was going to be our baby... and now I feel so dissappointed that he's not coming home. I'm at a loss.

The breeder was very kind and offered to send back my deposit or to hold it for her next litter. She has been so helpful in my search, and has spent hours on the phone with me talking about dobermans and giving me training advice... I would really love to have one of her puppies knowing the amount of expertise and support I would get, but at the same time my SO and I got so excited about this puppy that we're going to find it very difficult to wait months and months before her next litter.

Has anyone else gone through this heartbreak before, and what was your decision? Thanks!!
 
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#32 ·
If I was in your situation... It would be him vs. the puppy and SO would be S.O.L. :D

My SO too was set on a black/rust - he was actually bent of a female. I was interested in the red males, but I was open to personality vs. color generally.

It just so happens the pup I chose was a Red Male... everything my SO didn't want...

But today, even though he mulls over the "black one", he LOVES our Red boy :)
 
#33 ·
I find it kinda ironic how big and black pretty much equals dead, in a shelter situation, but so many people buying a puppy insist on black.

First to get bought, last to get adopted, after being abandoned.

Sorry, off-topic I know, just a "deep thought" inspired by this thread.
 
#36 ·
Not really off-topic, it's related... and so true. It's so sad that there's descrimination against black dogs, even if it's not done consciously. :(

Have to say I'm proud being the Mom of a black, Dobiegirl rescue!

OP: I know you're were looking forward to getting a puppy -- and right now, but have you given any thought to adopting a rescue? There are so many awesome Dobes that need good, stable homes, and some might be immediately available. They'll make sure that, most importantly, the dog is a good fit for your family, and yes, you can even request a black one...
 
#34 · (Edited)
sullylas - as you found an incredible breeder, your puppy selection work should be now done.

Black vs. Red / Red vs. Black...sort of like wanting a human child with a certain hair, eye color or final height.
- and you really don't have a 2 legged choice, all results in how the stars and genes are aligned...he-he
Just get SO to start being more flexible, go visit the furbabies and fall in love with another litter mate...rely on fate, its meant to be.

In 1977 we picked out a puppy, and on our second visit the breeder mentioned our girl had a cow lick on the back of her neck...so us pet newbee's changed our puppy pick to find another from the litter...LOL...breeder said, your pick is already a done deal // kind of funny, that we search for perfect and its staring us right in the face, all we need is a light kick in the butt, to realize the obvious sometimes.
- we make the puppy choice more complicated than it is, (on color alone)...and we can't see the forest for the trees
- just be happy, to start the puppy journey, that fills your heart, it's all that really matters (in the end, get your feet wet and take the plunge)
 
#35 ·
Black vs. Red / Red vs. Black...sort of like wanting a human child with a certain hair, eye color or final height.
- and you really don't have a 2 legged choice, all results in how the stars and genes are aligned...he-he
Hah, if he could he would be picky about that too!!

My issue now would be convincing the SO to let us visit the puppies, if she even has any left. Even if there wasn't a drive he wouldn't want to, you know the whole "cognitive dissonance" thing where a person will defy logic just to avoid going back on their word. He wouldn't want to go visit because he KNOWS I would fall in love with a red boy, and his pride would keep us from taking it home.

I agree, the color preference is definitely screwing us out of a puppy. And even if we do wait, there's no guarantee that the next litter will have a black male, and if there is, what if he's a super high-strung maniac? Guess the SO will have us waiting for YEARS... Must not actually want a puppy that bad then.

Thanks everyone for your input, and for listening to me vent, and now everyone has me wanting a Dobie pup even more than before! I'll ask the breeder for pictures of all the puppies, she's taking stacked pics this Saturday, just to see them and maybe have some leverage to make the 3 hour drive! Lol





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#37 ·
I have a solution! Get the red one right now, and tell your S.O. that your second Doberman will be black. That way you can have two Dobermans with no arguments from the S.O. Just make sure you wait about two years old for your first pup to grow up before adding a second one.

I am probably a bad influence. I also have puppy fever really bad now myself, and can't add a second dog at all right now.
 
#38 ·
My SO is picky about certain things too. When/if we look for a doberboy to add to our family, he wants a cropped/docked and won't budge on that.
My suggestion (and this worked for me when getting our girl.) Send the SO by himself to see the red puppy. Then he doesn't feel pressured by you, and he probably won't be able to resist, either! (If he'll go.)
 
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#41 ·
Sorry. Waiting for a puppy is hard. I have been there.

I passed on my original puppy, a black female, because of a potential problem. (she wound up FINE!)
I waited until the next litter and got a black male, (which is what I really wanted originally) and we are now having some big problems with him and the vet hasn't been able to diagnose anything yet. We are doing testing.
Now, I feel like I am being punished for passing up my original puppy.
I know that's not the case, but I do *feel that way.
Sorry I am going off topic here...
I really just wanted to say I know how you felt..The waiting stinks!
 
#42 ·
Maybe some progress... Been calling around to TONS of breeders just in case there's a black male somewhere, it's leading my SO to at least look at pictures of red boys again : ) !!!! Going to ask the breeder for pics of the red boys... Crossing my fingers that he'll change his mind!!!


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#44 ·
BTW... Feel free to share pics of your best pics of red dobes being regal and handsome/beautiful, he doesn't think they can come close to Blacks... I'm hoping to prove him wrong but need a little help! Thanks!!
Lana was almost 7mth old when I shot this photo Dec 1st 2012. I think she looks very nice in this photo.

 
#47 ·
Here's Griffin! I have no idea who his breeder is, he was abandoned at the SPCA. He does regal very well. I have plenty of goofy pics too, he's got a wicked sense of humor. When I adopted him, I had no idea what color I was going for. Just not a fawn, because I'd lost Logan about 6 months prior and didn't want to have another fawn right away. I was afraid that I would expect the new dog to be like Logan. So, I picked Griff from a photo on the rescue's website. Something in his expression just got me. I'm very fond of saying he's the one who really chose me.

At Swallow Falls:




Helping garden:



And just being happy:

 
#48 ·
I haven't figured out how to post pics with this phone yet; however, if you go to my gallery and click on the pics they will enlarge. The picture in my avatar is there and it is a danged impressive picture even if I do say so myself!:) It was taken in the shade tho and the ones in the sun aren't that great because of what he was being fed and it really showed up in those pics...California Natural. Actually he has a nice dark red coat.:D
 
#49 · (Edited)
You need to look at ZeldaRules doberman boy Optimus Prime. I saw a Youtube video of him, back before Rou was even a thought (or an option) or before I was a member of DT. I am not going to lie... he got me going on reds... :) Amongst OTHER red males at great breeders hours around my area.

Doberman Puppy On Guard - YouTube

(Sorry, ZeldaRules but you have a GORGEOUS boy- I'm sure you already know!!!)

Showing my SO this video opened his mind a bit more as well.
 
#51 ·
Tessa is my first female Doberman, my first red Doberman, and my most favorite Doberman. Those redheads really are special!



Levi and Tessa at their daycare on Valentine's Day.


This was the day after we adopted her from the Humane Society. Levi was instantly smitten. As was I!


This is one of the male pups I fostered. How can anyone (ahem...your SO) not fall in love with that face?! ;)
 
#78 · (Edited)
OMG puppy red cuteness...and little boy is thinking:
"that metal thing is cold on my chest / I better keep sitting down, before the Vet gets any more exploratory ideas, with her tools of the trade"...LOL

.......This is one of the male pups I fostered. How can anyone (ahem...your SO) not fall in love with that face?! ;)
 
#67 ·
Thanks! I love them, too. :)

Dogs-Art

There are some close up pics in this thread: collars

I'm kind of surprised about everyone's reaction to having a color preference. I really don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a particular color, assuming you are willing to wait to get everything you want (personality, breeder, etc.). I'm not saying the OP shouldn't consider a red pup, but I don't think it's wrong to want a particular color. I guess I'm in the minority there.
I don't think there's anything wrong at all with having a color preference either...

However I will take advantage of any opportunity to post gratuitous red puppy pics :D







 
#54 ·
I think it's working!!! Thank u everyone for sharing your gorgeous pictures, and thanks Rou for the video!! Definitely hit home for the SO!!

The breeder called me back to say that she was putting my check in the mail to send back to me tomorrow, but I told her to hold on to it instead : ) hey, if that family had the right to change their minds that many times, so do we! I'll be getting pictures of her red boys tomorrow, and hopefully Justin will be impressed : )


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#55 ·
I'm kind of surprised about everyone's reaction to having a color preference. I really don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a particular color, assuming you are willing to wait to get everything you want (personality, breeder, etc.). I'm not saying the OP shouldn't consider a red pup, but I don't think it's wrong to want a particular color. I guess I'm in the minority there.
 
#59 · (Edited)
I'm not saying it's wrong, i prefer red dobe, tri male smooth collies (very picky here lol) and i could go on. I just think that sometimes it's not the most important thing and it's worth letting go of, it is just a color after all. If you really like the breeder and the litter and the puppy is right for you, it's something that goes to the bottom of my list. I may one day want exactly a tri smooth male and wait for him but it depends on what my priorities are and what I want to wait for more, color AND temperament, or just temperament. Everyone's different :)

But now I'm getting the feeling from the op's response to me that maybe part of why he doesn't want to color swap is his feelings with the breeder choice after the other puppy was pulled out from under them...
 
#56 ·
Sam- that's exactly how the SO feels about the situation, he wants me to look for a different breeder. If the pups she has aren't to his liking then I will look elsewhere for red boys, I talked with a LOT of breeders today and some did have red boys. All of them were also very helpful and some were even going to call around to their breeder friends to see who had what available. In all, this experience has reinforced that I am definitely looking at the right breed of dog and that the Doberman community is one that I would love to be a part of! I don't think I can go wrong with the people that I have talked to- Old Drum, J bar S, Kani, Promise/Olympia, Bruda, Sho-Me, all wonderful breeders!

Not to mention the awesome people on the forum helping me out! : D


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#58 ·
Sam- that's exactly how the SO feels about the situation, he wants me to look for a different breeder. If the pups she has aren't to his liking then I will look elsewhere for red boys, I talked with a LOT of breeders today and some did have red boys. All of them were also very helpful and some were even going to call around to their breeder friends to see who had what available. In all, this experience has reinforced that I am definitely looking at the right breed of dog and that the Doberman community is one that I would love to be a part of! I don't think I can go wrong with the people that I have talked to- Old Drum, J bar S, Kani, Promise/Olympia, Bruda, Sho-Me, all wonderful breeders!

Not to mention the awesome people on the forum helping me out! : D
If you don't mind me asking, what breeder are you specifically talking about in this thread? Do you mind sharing?

And your welcome :) It really isn't about color preference, rather OPENING your SO's mind to other possibilities... life "inside the box" is soooo lame sometimes :)
 
#64 ·
We both originally (months ago) wanted a red, then my SO started wanting a black. I honestly would be happy either way, so I was happy to go along with his preference. He is finally considering a red again after much coercing, since there are no black male puppies available (from reputable breeders) within a 5 hour radius of our home : /


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#66 ·
OP, I think if you both considered/wanted a red before, and this breeder and this litter is everything you want, and one of the red pups has the temperament you want, you should go for it. It sounds like you guys are ready for your puppy.
 
#68 ·
You know I once took offense because a breeder of a different breed said it should be of no concern what the color is, the puppy should be a match in all other areas with the new owner. I WANTED a red. I love blacks and yes, I agree they are more striking, but I find the red different to look at and have other advantages that I have already outlined. I love both and for different reasons, but if you really want a certain color (assuming it isn't albino of course [the new 'pink'] ), then follow your heart. The heart wants what the heart wants.

But if it's puppy photos we want to see, then here are some:

5week pics:








7wks with sister Dash


First agility class
 
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