I write this post through blurry eyes, as I just got back from taking Karl to his forever home. That was one of the hardest things I have had to do in a really long time.
They finalized the adoption paperwork this evening, and I drove him out myself to make it the least stressful for him as I could. I brought his food, a blanket from our house, a toy for him to keep and some yummy treats he likes to help them gain his trust. I talked with them for a little while and gave them all the tips and tricks I had and what to look for to know when he is stressed. Then we brought him into the back room so he would not be able to watch me leave. I told them to hang on to him because he might freak out when I left. I didn't make a big deal of it, then I just said goodbye, gave him a quick kiss on the nose and walked out. I couldn't look back, but I know he was trying to get to me. I just heard the little girl say, "but he wants her!" and the mom said, "I know, its ok". I walked out the door and to my car, bawled my eyes out all the way home.
The little girl gave me a card too, with my name decorated on the front and everything. I did not want to open it there because I knew I would cry, so after I left I looked at it, and the inside read: "Thank you for watching our dog until we found him". Inside was also a $25 gift card to Buffalo Wild Wings (which we had talked about briefly during the home visit). That made me cry even more.
I thought at one point I might have to pull over because I was crying so hard I thought my head was almost gonna pop off. So, I came home and squeezed Rowan so hard his
head almost popped off!
I knew it was going to be hard, but knowing it unfortunately can't make the pain go away. I am going to have to muscle through the grief and wait for pictures and updates on his progress. I think the hard part is knowing that he is going to take a step (or more) back before he begins to trust his new family and bond to them like he did to me. Ultimately it will be the best thing for him, as they will have the time and resources to devote to him...I just wish I could fast forward to that part so the worrier in me could be at ease.
Thank you all who have helped me on this journey, it has had a big impact on me, bigger than I knew when it began. I am truly blessed to have been able to be Karl's person for a while, and I hope and pray that everything works out and his new people will be his forever people and give him the life he so deserves.