Alright, advice needed - should I ban my relative from seeing Riley?
My dog's been good with my friends, who are strangers, coming over. Usually takes him 5 minutes to settle down, with the whole "sit-come say hi-treat-back off-sit-come say hi-repeat", until he's not excited anymore. I make sure my friends avoid eye contact, and don't talk to him or touch him until he's completely relaxed. Once he is relaxed, I give the friends treats to give to him after they make him do some commands. Been pretty cool, and he winds up loving them after.
Well, we had a relative over the other day... that one didn't go so well. She is a very VERY excitable and hands-on, baby-talky, stare deep into the eyes, kind of person who loves "cute things" and to grab and hold and pat everything as soon as she walks into a room. It's so bad that my cats all hate her and always hide when she shows up (yet, again, they are fine with my friends who are calm and don't push for affection).
So, you can imagine how that went with Riley... first I told my relative to wait until I got Riley into another room, before she entered the area we were currently in. She starts to get SO offended by this and tells me "Oh, for Pete's sake, he wont hurt me! Let me in!" but I rush Riley into the back room anyway, knowing better than that. I have her go sit down in the kitchen and wait a minute, but not as long as I would have liked. She kept pushing and pushing for me to go get him out. I did, and he started to growl and bark and pull me down the hallway when he couldn't even SEE her yet... so I stopped and waited... got his attention with treats, told her it wasn't a good idea and we should wait, but then she starts to get up and come our way and I know trouble's coming... well, Riley is on a leash and I know how he gets worse when there's tension so I ease up a little and he calms down a little and wags his tail and sniffs her, but I can tell he's still just way too excited and something bad will happen if she doesn't calm down in front of him... but no, despite me telling her NOT to touch him, talk to him, stare at him, etc., she winds up grabbing his face and rubbing him all over and baby talking him. Riley seems to be okay at first... but then she puts her face into his and stares in his eyes and he finally freaks out and he jumps up on her and growls and barks... at first it was just excitement, but I knew I had to get him off her... unfortunately, by pulling back, he wound up with a more aggressive growl and bark and I was worried he might have actually bitten her, but she told me he didn't... I calmed him down again, at a distance, and wanted to try and at least give him one GOOD experience with her before kenneling him, so we tried again and I told her DON'T DO ANYTHING... and basically the same stuff happened, because she doesn't listen to my directions.
Now I wind up looking like a jerk to my relative, and she thinks my dog is horrible and it's my fault he acted up.
Yeah, I guess it was, because I allowed her to see him.
So, she still wants to see him, but I am thinking I don't trust her enough to be around him. I feel bad though, because this person is my relative, and I would like them to see the good side of my dog, but it's just too risky to me. I don't even want her over my HOUSE anymore, because I'm afraid if I kennel Riley up, she'll find a way to weasel her way into the room and go see him despite what I tell her not to do. I don't want my relative to think I don't like her, and I don't want her to be upset with me or think I'm being selfish or anti-social by not letting them over. But... argh!
How would you handle this? She just doesn't understand.