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Originally Posted by tranquility  I know that I have to maintain a strong, confident mentality to preserve my status as 'alpha male' in the household in order to retain control of the Dobe. However, how should my wife conduct herself when we get a Dobe? Do I have to conduct myself differently w/ my wife in front of the Dobe? |
First off, I had exactly the same concerns when we adopted Taz! These are valid, normal concerns!! In fact, after the first six months, my wife told me "This is the worst thing you've done since we've been married!" For the record, we've been married 27 years.
Regarding the "strong, confident mentality," I think you are right to be concerned about this. But, I also think this will come much easier to you once you enroll the dog in OB classes. Hopefully, you have researched the availability of such classes and found a good instructor. IMO, this is as important as having a relationship with a good veterinarian. I think you will find that your new Dobe will appreciate learning OB and if you simply ask for a SIT or STAY or DOWN before feeding, going outside, playing, etc., your mentality will be established.
Having said that, in my personal experience, my wife would have NOTHING to do with all that! She didn't actively try to undo all I was doing, but she would not take Taz out, feed him or anything! He was to be MY DOG! I tried to get her to at least learn some of the commands, but in the first six months, the wife just would not be trained! LOL! Hopefully, YMMV.
To answer your second question directly, I do not think you have to conduct yourself around your wife differently. Be concerned with your conduct around your dog. You can
try to train your wife. Just don't expect to get too far.
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Originally Posted by tranquility I know that I will be able to manage the dog but I'm just a wee bit concerned about better-half since she is a bit 'afraid' of the dog. She's always telling me that she's not liking the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and having this huge black dog blocking the way and staring lol. On a more serious note, last thing I want is the dog to 'challenge' or growl (or worse) at my wife in status. Not sure if I'm conveying myself clearly here. |
As others have said, it is highly likely that your Dobe will accept your wife as part of the pack, to be protected and fawned over. I have related my experiences in the first six months of Taz being adopted. What happened next was quite the transformation (for my wife). These dogs just have a way of never giving up in their desire to please you and gain affection. It did take a while, but now my wife is crazy about Taz. There's no way in the world he would growl at her, or me. Before long, Taz was backing up into her lap looking for a butt scratch. And, she was giving him one! That led to kisses and leans and all the rest. Yes, this did not happen overnight, but it happened. It likely will for you, too.
One more comment from your original post. You mentioned caution about stepping on a big dog in the middle of the night. You might really want to consider crating your dog at night. Yeah, I know it sounds like a great idea to have him sleeping in your bedroom, or perhaps on your bed. But, IMO, that could be a bit too much authority being given to the dog. They actually appreciate their own den and then getting up on your bed or lounging in your bedroom remains a treat, not a right! Once again, just my opinion.
Good luck with your Dobe and keep us posted!!
A good wife, a good horse, a good dog. That's all a man needs and I'm thankful to have all three. 
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