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Old 01-04-2013, 10:48 AM   #51 (permalink)
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You look beautiful. The baby has long legs! LOL. My step daughter is 16 weeks now, she just found out she is having a girl her legs are not as long as your son's. Oooo doesn't that sound great, your son...awwww.

My youngest son is named Kevin Dean. I have always liked the name Kevin and it is Irish. I wanted an Ian, love the name Ian. Ian Scott (insert last name), not only is it Irish but it sounds like a writer... Kevin means handsome/charming in gaelic. Personally I like Ian better then Liam. My Kevin was almost a Connor.

Congrats on the baby boy! Naming is a huge deal...such a huge deal. LOL.

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Old 01-04-2013, 11:15 AM   #52 (permalink)
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The baby has long legs! LOL. My step daughter is 16 weeks now, she just found out she is having a girl her legs are not as long as your son's.
haha that's what everyone on facebook said too. I'm not surprised... I'm 5'10" with a 36" inseam, and James is 6'3". So I won't be surprised if this kid is all legs when he comes out lol
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:37 AM   #53 (permalink)
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Pray for long legs and a small head. You'll be grateful come delivery time.

Want to share your birthing philosophy? Will you be trying natural, planned c-section, water birth, epidural and a martini?

That's super personal so totally understandable if that too shall remain nameless. I just LOVE hearing about pregnancies. I loved being pregnant, loved planning for the delivery, love talking to those in the same boat - it's just the coolest thing that we women are lucky enough to have the option of doing.
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:44 AM   #54 (permalink)
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Want to share your birthing philosophy? Will you be trying natural, planned c-section, water birth, epidural and a martini?
I don't mind sharing at all It's interesting to hear other peoples stories, so please share yours too!

If all goes to plan and nothing unexpected happens, my plan is all natural. We hired a midwife/doula to accompany us to the hospital as a labor coach so I can hopefully do it as naturally as possible. Since I've never been through it before, it will be nice to have someone there for reassurance about normal processes and feelings.

The hospital where I will be delivering has a full birthing center than has private rooms and tubs for laboring in water, though they don't allow actual water births. Otherwise, I'd opt for that.

I don't want any interventions such as inducing or breaking the water or anything. My feeling is that if everything is normal, the baby will come when he's ready. I was 10 days late when I was born.

Each to their own, but that is my plan!
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:58 AM   #55 (permalink)
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An EXCELLENT plan, imho!!!

I did the same thing with my two daughters. I wanted to have a natural birthing experience, but at a hospital in case anything should go wrong there would be immediate care.

I had a doula with me throughout both pregnancies and labor/delivery. If I could have paid her a million $$$ for what she did for me I would have, and she'd be worth every penny! She really worked so hard to read my facial expressions and redirect me to focus and control my mind and breathing. I honestly don;t believe I could have done it without her. She was a ROCKSTAR.

I would have never put that pressure on my husband to be my coach. We often forget that this is our SOs first baby too, you have no idea how they are going to react and I much preferred having him experience it in his own way and not feel the pressure (panic) of having to be my coach. I mean, what the heck would he know about it anyway?

I had two very different pregnancies, and two very different labor and deliveries. One pretty smooth, one a little rocky and troublesome. But I felt like a freaking goddess after I delivered those two girls!! The natural euphoria and high was incredible and I am immensely proud and grateful for my expreience.
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:12 PM   #56 (permalink)
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That is great to hear! I've never actually talked to anyone who has used a doula at the hospital, so I'm so glad you shared your experience! The woman we hired is actually very reasonable in her fee, but even if she wasn't, I'm sure it would be worth every penny!

My hubby has pretty much no medical knowledge, and obviously no knowledge of birthing and delivery, so I would never count on him for anything more than moral support. It will be a first experience for him too, and probably stressful as well, so I feel a lot better about having the doula there to act as an advocate for us.

How was your hospital experience? How long did you wait before going to the hospital? Did they let you walk around during labor? Did they let you eat and drink? Did you have continuous fetal monitoring and an IV catheter right away? Feel free to PM me, if you'd rather discuss it privately. And I hope you don't mind me picking your brain! You're the first person that I "know" that has a similar philosophy as me
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:41 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Heck no - I LOVE talking about this stuff! No question too personal!

I worked w/ my doula throughout the 2nd & 3rd trimesters, preparing me for what's to come and doing reflexology on my feat. I don't know if that helped anything but it sure felt great! She came over to my house as my labor kicked in and we just hung out. I spent a lot of time on a big ball - like a pilates ball - just rocking my hips back/forward/sideways, that brought me the most pressure relief and felt better to me than walking. (Side note: on 2nd labor the contractions came and went and took forever to regulate, so I walked and walked and eventually they became regular).

I don't know if all hospitals are the same, but once checked in I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and IV right away. They would not let me walk around, eat or drink. I take that back - they did let me have ice chips, but that's it. Aside from shifting from right side of my body to left, I was stuck in that bed. My doula pretty much prepared me for this so I tried to labor as much as a I could at home. That big ball was my best friend. Even early on in the pregnancy I would do a ton of hip stretching exercises on it just to get my joints nice and loose. I think I was about 7cm when I did finally get to the hospital.

Warm, wet towels on my lower back felt AMAZING and my doula brought them with a crockpot to the hospital. You can imagine the look those nurses gave her!

Look, hospitals suck. They just do. The nurses are impatient, don't support natural childbirth and are just there to get you in and out. After the baby's born they whisk them away, clean them up, hand them to you for an hour or so then whisk them away again. I had to scream like a banshee to get them to bring me my baby back after she had been gone over an hour. My doctor literally walked in just to catch the baby, remark on how surprised he was that I actually did it (natural childbirth) and then was gone. Then there's the little heal prick tests they do which will make you and your baby cry. It's all uncomfortable and according to their schedule, shifts, desires, paperwork, etc.

But to me, it was a necessary evil. As much as my inner hippie would have loved a home birth, I am at least a 30 minute drive from the nearest hospital and really needed to know that if something didn't go as planned we would all have instant care and attention.

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Old 01-04-2013, 01:29 PM   #58 (permalink)
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No baby here, but grew up with the mantra that having a baby isn't a medical procedure, so it is refreshing to see people are still having babies naturally.
I think there is far too much medical intervention for births. My mom had three kids. The first pregnancy was with twins, she went into labour 8wks early. She called the Dr who said it is probably false labour and told her not to worry about it. She went to her birthing class and they said get to the hospital now. She ended up having an emergency C-section and lost one of the twins, my brother was born and was 2lbs, was in the hospital for 2 months and had a lot of obstacle to overcome including his chest collapsing.
A yr and 12 days later, she had me, she was lucky to live in BC, which is full of hippies, and found a midwife because the hospital told her she would need another cesarian. She didnt want one at all, so with the help of a midwife she had me naturally and drug free.

Then we moved to Ontario, 2 yrs later, she was preparing for my brother's birth, and had a hospital tour, and she didn't like the hospital's birthing policy. So she decided she would have her baby at home with 2 midwives- midwives werent allowed in the hospital at this time.
The hospital was horrible about it, comparing having a baby at home to driving on a busy highway with a brand new baby without a car seat or seatbelt. They made her have her Dr sign a waiver that she wouldnt hold the hospital responsible for anything that were to happen to her or the baby. Anyways, she had the baby at home in the living room on the couch with no issues. She was the second person in this area to have a baby at home, so they ended up interviewing her for the newspaper. lol.
My friend(bless her) has 3 kids and her last 2 were at home as well with the help of a midwife, I am so proud of her.
Good luck with whatever you do! And yes, you are TINY! lol.
My other friend, just had her baby, she is about 5ft, and had an 8lb4oz baby boy, the first baby in their city of the new year! I love baby boys! They are so much fun! They have cooler toys, too!
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Old 01-04-2013, 02:16 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Agree. Which is why I don't plan on telling anyone what we actually choose until after he is born. That why I don't have to hear people opinions leading up to it.
I did that with both the kids. It's so nice and stress free.


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Old 01-04-2013, 02:53 PM   #60 (permalink)
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What is a 'doula'?

I have never heard this term before.
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:03 PM   #61 (permalink)
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What is a 'doula'?

I have never heard this term before.
Doula - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 01-04-2013, 04:16 PM   #62 (permalink)
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I don't know if they still do Lamaze classes, but I think they can be very helpful for somewhat nervous or clueless dads... not only do you learn the breathing and relaxation techniques, but so will he, as well as the MOST helpful lower back pressure relief for back labor or later labor pressure.

I became a Lamaze instructor (this was about 100 years ago - well, OK, about 30) after I was my friend Donna's coach (her husband was an absolutely steadfast non-participant!) and she was mine (DH was a musician back then, and on the road a lot, so unreliable as a labor coach - when Josh was born, David was caught in a blizzard in Vermont).

I opted for all natural labor and delivery, but my brainiac son was just too large for my cervix, so had to have an emergency c-section after 8 1/2 hours of fairly intense labor. But I will pass along the one bit of advice that a very old friend gave me, back when we were about 19 years old - she was the first of my friends to have a baby, and I always remembered her philosophy about childbirth, and it absolutely helped me! She said that she thought of the process and sensations of labor and delivery as another aspect of lovemaking, and that she was able to "translate" the pains and sensations of contractions and delivery into sexual terms, which made them both bearable and joyful. Her first daughter is now almost 43! Wow!
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Old 01-04-2013, 04:37 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Old 01-04-2013, 04:42 PM   #64 (permalink)
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I opted for all natural labor and delivery, but my brainiac son was just too large for my cervix, so had to have an emergency c-section after 8 1/2 hours of fairly intense labor. But I will pass along the one bit of advice that a very old friend gave me, back when we were about 19 years old - she was the first of my friends to have a baby, and I always remembered her philosophy about childbirth, and it absolutely helped me! She said that she thought of the process and sensations of labor and delivery as another aspect of lovemaking, and that she was able to "translate" the pains and sensations of contractions and delivery into sexual terms, which made them both bearable and joyful. Her first daughter is now almost 43! Wow!
You know - I find that incredibly true. Perhaps not in the same way, interpreting the sensations sexually, or sensually, but in your minds ability to make of the pain what you will. I truly believe in mind over matter, especially when it comes to pain. I looked at my labor as a marathon with a prize at the end. So my labor pains were just muscle strain that was getting me closer to goal, closer to winning. The more intense, the closer to finish (lol, maybe it was sexual afterall!). So instead of completely freaking me out, the harder the contractions were the more excited I became because that meant she was almost here. And I really owe the maintaining of that mindset throughout to my doula. It would have been easy to turn my mind off and just give in and quit fighting, but she kept me on top of the contractions so they never got the better of me. And believe you me, that was hard work! That's why I am so grateful for her.

And I've used that same marathon analogy with friends. Both those that were firmly against natural childbirth (hey - why deny yourself an easier way if it's out there?) and those that desperately tried but ended up taking an epidural or having a c-section due to unforeseen complications. At the end of the race their prize is the same as mine. At the end of the day you will have your baby, one way or the other, so the path you choose is your own.
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Old 01-04-2013, 06:17 PM   #65 (permalink)
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had a name to suggest but LOVE your idea of Liam James... L.J. ............

and had to laugh at your saying he will be ALL legs.

first thing i saw in your ultra sound pic was.....LEGS!

and you are truely GLOWING...........

Hugz to you and your long legged boy!
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:44 PM   #66 (permalink)
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Congrats on your little one!!!I'm relatively new to the forum, so I'm not sure are you a first time Mom or not...if you are a first time Mom, welcome to Motherhood - the most amazing experience ever!!!
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:12 PM   #67 (permalink)
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Look, hospitals suck. They just do. The nurses are impatient, don't support natural childbirth and are just there to get you in and out. After the baby's born they whisk them away, clean them up, hand them to you for an hour or so then whisk them away again. I had to scream like a banshee to get them to bring me my baby back after she had been gone over an hour. My doctor literally walked in just to catch the baby, remark on how surprised he was that I actually did it (natural childbirth) and then was gone. Then there's the little heal prick tests they do which will make you and your baby cry. It's all uncomfortable and according to their schedule, shifts, desires, paperwork, etc.

But to me, it was a necessary evil. As much as my inner hippie would have loved a home birth, I am at least a 30 minute drive from the nearest hospital and really needed to know that if something didn't go as planned we would all have instant care and attention.
Have you ever watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born"? It was made a few years ago, and I happened across it on Netflix and I've probably watched it like 4 times now. It's all about how f'ed up the hospital system for birthing is here in the US, and how we have the highest C-section rate, infant and maternal mortality rates despite most women delivering in hospitals. They compare us to the rest of the world where midwives and home births are more common and they have better statistics than we do.

That documentary is what opened my eyes to the problem with hospitals and what prompted me to find a midwife. If I had it my way, and we lived closer to the hospital, I would opt for a home birth. But you never know when something could go wrong, and you don't have 30 minutes to make it to the hospital, or even wait for an ambulance. It wasn't a risk I was willing to take, even being completely low risk, so I still opted for the hospital delivery, but compromised by hiring the midwife (who acts as a doula in the hospital setting) to go through the process as naturally as possible.

There are other documentaries that I have watched on this subject. I think one was called "Birthing in America" or something along those lines, which had the same premise, but wasn't as well done as "The Business of Being Born". But while I was doing my research, I just couldn't get enough information. I'm a very research-y kind of person and I wanted to know what my options were. You should definitely check it out if you haven't already. Since you are so interested in this stuff, and have the same thoughts as me about it, I think you'd really like it.

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No baby here, but grew up with the mantra that having a baby isn't a medical procedure, so it is refreshing to see people are still having babies naturally.
I agree! It's really sad that childbirth has stopped becoming a natural process of life and has morphed into an emergency medical condition.

You'd probably like that documentary, too - it discusses how the views of birthing has changed over the years, and how hospitals use it as a business now instead of being mother and baby friendly. They are certainly not there to give you an empowering, life-altering experience.

Its no wonder most women are scared to death to give birth - they watch all these horror stories on TV like (A Baby Story), and people screaming and being carted off for emergency C-sections. Most women just want their epidurals and drugs and just get it over with, and I feel that they are missing out on one of the most life-changing, empowering things they will ever experience. Its really sad.

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I will pass along the one bit of advice that a very old friend gave me, back when we were about 19 years old - she was the first of my friends to have a baby, and I always remembered her philosophy about childbirth, and it absolutely helped me! She said that she thought of the process and sensations of labor and delivery as another aspect of lovemaking, and that she was able to "translate" the pains and sensations of contractions and delivery into sexual terms, which made them both bearable and joyful.
That's a really good piece of advice. I think it's all about how you interpret the pain. Remember that pain is just a sensation - its all in your head, honestly. I have a pretty high pain tolerance because of this way of thinking. So I'm hoping that will help me (and I'm able to remember that) when I'm in labor!

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Originally Posted by Darkevs View Post
had a name to suggest but LOVE your idea of Liam James... L.J. ............

and had to laugh at your saying he will be ALL legs.

first thing i saw in your ultra sound pic was.....LEGS!

and you are truely GLOWING...........

Hugz to you and your long legged boy!
Thanks Darlene This kid will be on the basketball roster right away haha

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Originally Posted by domina View Post
I'm relatively new to the forum, so I'm not sure are you a first time Mom or not...if you are a first time Mom, welcome to Motherhood - the most amazing experience ever!!!
Thank you! Yes, this is my first child so its all a learning experience for me, but hubby and I are excited. Nervous, as all new parents-to-be probably are when they think about how their life will change forever, but excited all the same
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:42 PM   #68 (permalink)
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Congrats! You look so gorgeous!!

Seamus/Shamus... I had the biggest crushes on two different boys named Seamus!
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:44 PM   #69 (permalink)
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Oh and both me and my little sister were born at home with the whole family and a midwife present, I was there when she was born... It was amazing A few hours after I was born the doggies got to come in and meet me
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Old 01-05-2013, 04:03 AM   #70 (permalink)
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Ah, so basically a 'Doula' is like your granny or other family member who has been through it all before and is there to hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be okay. Got it.

Okay, this may be a simplified deduction of what a 'Doula' is, but it sounds just like my Grandma being at my birth for my mum, and me being with my DIL for my grandchildrens birth.
When my DIL was pregnant she would ask me loads of questions about carrying, giving birth to a baby.
When she went into Labour she wanted me there, which I was more than happy to oblige her with as she was very frightened indeed.
Now don't get me wrong, her mum was there and was giving her, her support, but I guess it was my no nonsense approach to it all she needed when the chips were down. I am very pragmatic about life. I remember as the Labour progressed she turned to me and said...
'I can't do this.'
She was having the baby by natural methods right up to that moment so I turned to the nurse and said.
'Bring in the gas and air and sweetheart. (I turned to my DIL for this). There is no not doing, you are here and it is happening, so lets get this baby born'.'

I didnt actually see my Grand-daughter born, I left as she started to peek out as I felt it was her mothers place to be witness to it, not the dragon of a MIL.

My DIL has given me 3 wonderful grandchildren all of whose births were different.

So as my mother once told me, childbirth can't be all that bad, otherwise there would be no second babies in anyones families, lol.

Oh by the way, there is no shame in not being able to have your baby 'naturally'. If you need help with the pain, then go for it, you get no medals for toughing it out and making yourself bloody miserable and uncomfortable. (well thus far none of my friends have).
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:01 AM   #71 (permalink)
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I had my kids eons ago now, but no matter how much things change they stay the same.
Since our first child was born in California, we really lucked out with an all natural type instructor in Lamaze class who was also a La Leche league coach. It was just expected that all of us would have natural child birth and nurse our babies. We were coached to use cloth diapers to save the environment- that lasted about 9 months and never would I do that again! Heck, I started swim classes with my daughter when she was 6 weeks old!

Anyway, as pointed out- don't be so fixated on a "birth plan" that you can't be flexible when the time comes. Everyone is do different when it come to labor pains.

My daughter came a week early and I threw myself into labor by push mowing the lawn that afternoon. I sat up with labor pains into the wee hrs of the night, not wanting to go to the hospital too early. We went in early morning, I was hooked up to IV so could not walk the halls, but she was born at noon.
Son- kind of a funny story. My Mom had come to help, and Cam ended up being a week late. We had a fun day, walking and taking my daughter to the park. Had rented "Out of Africa" to watch at dinnertime and I could tell labor was starting but I did not want to miss the movie's end. FYI- it is a long movie! As labor progressed, we decided we should go to the hospital so hubby and I made the 30 min drive. Hospital said early labor still, so I went walking a floor or two down as there was screamer on the labor floor. (That is awful!) Checking back in, I could feel labor was intense, but nurse was saying don't use your heavy breathing yet. Excuse me, if I need the heavy breathing don't argue with me!! A doula would have been handy here. Turns out my son had gone from 0-10 in 2 hrs and he was born with a strange Dr delivering him as mine was in the car on the way to the hospital. My son was born the Year of the Tiger and that is how he came into this world!

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Old 01-05-2013, 07:28 AM   #72 (permalink)
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I did see Business of Being Born. It was an incredible film. It came out after I had my two girls, but it was very reaffirming.
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Old 01-05-2013, 02:14 PM   #73 (permalink)
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I like Corbin, Keegan, Liam, and Ian the most, I think.
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:54 PM   #74 (permalink)
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Oh by the way, there is no shame in not being able to have your baby 'naturally'. If you need help with the pain, then go for it, you get no medals for toughing it out and making yourself bloody miserable and uncomfortable. (well thus far none of my friends have).
I don't judge people who opt for all the pain meds and whatnot, but to me, labor is something to be experienced, not something that should be numbed. I'd rather not have a bunch of synthetic drugs running through me and my baby's system if I can avoid it.

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Anyway, as pointed out- don't be so fixated on a "birth plan" that you can't be flexible when the time comes.
Yeah its just a plan - and plans can always be changed if necessary, but barring any emergency situation, I'm going to try my best to stick with it
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Old 01-05-2013, 08:58 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Sterling

Congrats btw.
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