MIL stealing?? - Doberman Forum : Doberman Breed Dog Forums

General Off Topic Chat This forum is to be used to post about Non Doberman topics. Do you want to post about your spouse, car, job? Test your signature? Post here

DobermanTalk.com is the premier Doberman Dog Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-10-2012, 05:10 PM   #1 (permalink)
Big Dog
 
cpittman's Avatar
 
Posts: 93
Location: Northern California
Dogs Name: Romeo
Dogs Age: 5 months
Gallery Pics: 0
Visit cpittman's Gallery
Thanks: 254
Thanked 73 Times in 36 Posts
cpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nice
MIL stealing??

Well, the title says it all.

My fiance's mother was staying at our home because of a list of reasons, all based around the fact that she has no income. She has been trying to file for disability for the past 4 years, all because of the fact that she simply doesn't want to work.

I feel terribly that her situation falls back onto my fiance. He is deeply embarrassed of her and frustrated with the fact that she has no desire to do better for herself.

We essentially took her in for the first time about 3 years ago. She was with us for 4 months, and it was miserable by day 3. She is bitter, mean, and horribly sarcastic. Since then, she has stayed with us on and off.

Every time she is here, she treats us as if we are living in her home. She doesn't clean up after herself and does things we specifically ask her not to do. And when I say that she isn't clean, I mean she literally leaves dirty dishes lying around, and leaves a trail behind her. (I always thought that was just an expression!) We have a 2 y/o already. We shouldn't have to clean up after an adult as well.

The last time she was here I found myself missing things. Jewelry, toiletries, pictures, ANYTHING. And the strangest part (to me) is that the majority of things that went missing were stupid little stuff! Lo and behold, he ends up finding our things in her bags. Since then, he has told her to F* off essentially, and that she is not welcome to come around or call.

While I am selfishly glad that he had said these things, and without me saying anything, I don't know where to go from here. At the end of the day, it is his mom and she is living on the streets. That has got to hurt.

Do we ignore her? Until when? How can I help my fiance though all of this? Any and all thoughts appreciated. I need some unbiased ideas!
cpittman is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Mar 2012
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-10-2012, 06:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
Alpha
 
Beaumont67's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,789
Location: St. Thomas, Ontario
Dogs Name: Kelly
Titles: CD Obedience & Therapy
Dogs Age: puppy
Gallery Pics: 0
Visit Beaumont67's Gallery
Thanks: 32,142
Thanked 11,040 Times in 4,425 Posts
Beaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond reputeBeaumont67 has a reputation beyond repute
cpittman
#1 - I hope the MIL bit*h is no longer living in your home, and never allowed to visit your property...period.
- rude is one thing, stealing is in another ball bark

45 years ago, my granny on Mom's side was living with one sister for over a decade.
One other sister wanted to control the will and receive future $$.
So she had the B-Atch move in with her and had the will changed...LOL
With 12 aunts & uncles (in the family), 3 months later, the old batt is shipped off to one new house/month.

In grade8 - once my bro and I got off the school bus, the TV went on and while making toast with jam, I turned around to ask grandma something, with a butter knife in my hand...she was several feet away.
Within a week, she told one of her daughters that I pointed a knife at her, and now all the relatives heard this made up story.
When the knife lie got back to my Mom & Dad, my pops said (mad as hell) to my mother:
- pack her FR**IN bags tonight, she is going back to live with your sister that controlls the will...right now
- and in the car she went, never to stay overnight again
A few years later the MIL died, the will was read and there wasn't sufficient funds to bury her...LOL
- my parents were asked to chip in (money wise $$) and they both laughed their heads off
My Dad said, his wifes sister's problem, as she had the will changed.
- looking back, the butter knife lie, was the "straw that broke the camels back"

When you have proof of theft, your decision should be very-very easy to make...when relatives bring pain to your loving family, fix it without grief.
We laughed about the bread butter knife story, for decades later...no regrets, but a blessing in hindsight.
- all my cousins loved the story to, how a mean grandma was shipped off, one night...never to return with a suitcase
(luckly my granny on Dad's side was the most loving lady in my growing up life)
__________________
------------Kelly & (Amy - RIP @ 11.7 y/o)
[url=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/51/p1000485ch.jpg[/URL]

Last edited by Beaumont67; 12-10-2012 at 06:26 PM..
Beaumont67 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: May 2011
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Beaumont67 For This Useful Post:
alan j. (12-11-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012), flaminscotch (12-11-2012), Sherryh (12-10-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012), zorianak (12-10-2012)
Old 12-10-2012, 06:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Alpha
 
KevinK's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,654
Location: North Jersey
Dogs Name: Dakota
Titles: I Has a Rescue

Gallery Pics: 0
Visit KevinK's Gallery
Thanks: 1,775
Thanked 6,719 Times in 1,914 Posts
KevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond reputeKevinK has a reputation beyond repute
If somebody doesn't have the desire to help themselves, then you CAN NOT help them. You are just prolonging the inevitable, which in this situation, is everyone being upset, miserable to go home, and at some point, the mother would probably be on the street again anyways.
KevinK is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Aug 2010
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to KevinK For This Useful Post:
Adara (12-11-2012), Adobe4two (12-11-2012), AlyssaN (12-10-2012), Amelia_ (12-11-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012), dobermama (12-11-2012), falnfenix (12-10-2012), LindaH (12-10-2012), reddobes (12-11-2012), RedFawnRising (12-10-2012), Serahfina (12-10-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-10-2012, 06:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
Vewwy Skebpbbtical
 
LindaH's Avatar
 
Posts: 14,023
Dogs Name: Sunburg's Indian River Park "Parker"
Dogs Age: Born May 24, 2007
Gallery Pics: 25
Visit LindaH's Gallery
Thanks: 20,817
Thanked 19,683 Times in 8,258 Posts
Images: 25
LindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond reputeLindaH has a reputation beyond repute
Just don't ever encourage him to invite her back in. As previously said, you cannot help someone who will not help themselves. As long as she has somewhere to land, she won't improve.
__________________
All dogs deserve a good home

Subscribe to this newsletter first:
http://www.truthaboutpetfood.com/

How to select a good dog food:
http://www.boxerworld.com/forums/vie...y-dog-food.htm

Dog food information:
http://www.dogfoodadvisor.com/best-dog-foods/
http://www.dogfoodproject.com/index.php?page=main

Diet additives and Raw diet information
http://www.dogaware.com/articles/index.html
LindaH is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Sep 2006
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LindaH For This Useful Post:
cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012), LuvMyDobes (12-12-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-10-2012, 06:56 PM   #5 (permalink)
Alpha
 
ellenm's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,336
Location: Virginia
Dogs Name: Rexy (RIP) Cheers: Goldgrove Cheers Diversha, Wally:Goldgrove Forever Yours, Jules
Titles: Rexy:CDX,WAC,CGC Cheers:CDX,NA,NAJ; Wally : AKC CH, BN,RN,CDX ROM Jules: AKC CH,RN
Dogs Age: 7 yrs, 5 yrs, 2yrs
Gallery Pics: 50
Visit ellenm's Gallery
Thanks: 8,330
Thanked 10,201 Times in 4,376 Posts
Images: 50
ellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond reputeellenm has a reputation beyond repute
Click here to find out how ellenm became a supporter
I agree with the other posters. Hard to see someone down on their luck, but if they make no effort to help themselves, and are stealing from you to boot... that's just wrong.
I'd follow the lead of her son in this, as he's obviously seen and been through enough.
ellenm is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Nov 2007
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ellenm For This Useful Post:
cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-10-2012, 07:20 PM   #6 (permalink)
Wears Sandwitch Board
 
RedFawnRising's Avatar
 
Posts: 21,086
Dogs Name: Whisper; George; Slick Wilhemina, Nashua
Titles: George-Working Service Dog
Dogs Age: 5 yr, 4 yr, 3 yr, 1yr
Gallery Pics: 3
Visit RedFawnRising's Gallery
Thanks: 66,970
Thanked 71,755 Times in 16,991 Posts
Images: 3
RedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond repute
Click here to find out how RedFawnRising became a supporter
She sounds mentally ill.

Has she ever had an eval, and tx attempts?
__________________

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."
―Cyril Connolly
RedFawnRising is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Jun 2008
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to RedFawnRising For This Useful Post:
Adara (12-11-2012), Amelia_ (12-11-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012), Kekly (12-11-2012), melbrod (12-11-2012), Shell81 (12-10-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-10-2012, 07:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
Alpha
 
pdubois64's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,749
Location: Alberta, Canada
Dogs Name: Daisy (Raisin), Dillon R.I.P.
Dogs Age: Mar 16 2014
Gallery Pics: 50
Visit pdubois64's Gallery
Thanks: 6,780
Thanked 7,051 Times in 1,830 Posts
Images: 50
pdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond reputepdubois64 has a reputation beyond repute
Sounds like an episode of Monster in Laws. Sorry for your situation, that must be tough.
__________________
Zoopsie Daisy vom Dobereich
----------------------------

Dillon:b.2/19/09 d.9/28/12 "The best walks in life are always the briefest"
pdubois64 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Apr 2009
Old 12-10-2012, 08:14 PM   #8 (permalink)
Alpha
 
Posts: 3,519
Location: South Florida
Dogs Name: Devon (red female)
Titles: First Place
Dogs Age: 5 years old
Gallery Pics: 5
Visit Sherryh's Gallery
Thanks: 35,517
Thanked 4,553 Times in 2,638 Posts
Images: 5
Sherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond reputeSherryh has a reputation beyond repute
Nothing is free ............if she doesn't follow your guide then there are many shelters that love people like her,Salvation Army,Good Will.But stealing your things has to stop............
Sherryh is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Jul 2011
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Sherryh For This Useful Post:
Beaumont67 (12-10-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-10-2012, 08:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
Alpha
 
LCalvert's Avatar
 
Posts: 367
Location: Delaware
Dogs Name: Zeus (Doberman) RIP always in my heart and Dusty (Lab)
Titles: CGC and my best friends.
Dogs Age: 1/5/2010 & 6/28/2008
Gallery Pics: 3
Visit LCalvert's Gallery
Thanks: 802
Thanked 451 Times in 175 Posts
Images: 3
LCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond reputeLCalvert has a reputation beyond repute
If she can't be trusted I wouldn't let her back in your home. Try to help her with resources to get back on her feet, like contact your state department. Also sounds like she may have a mental health problem maybe she would need treatment?
LCalvert is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: May 2010
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LCalvert For This Useful Post:
cpittman (12-11-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 03:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
Alpha
 
Toby'shuman's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,813
Location: Spain
Dogs Name: Toby the Dobe, Russell the Andalucian Terrier, Reina the Pointador. Sasha & Jack at the Bridge
Titles: Yep, loads, but none printable. lol
Dogs Age: 7th Nov 2010 -
Gallery Pics: 24
Visit Toby'shuman's Gallery
Thanks: 13,157
Thanked 10,751 Times in 3,597 Posts
Images: 24
Toby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond repute
On this, you should take your Fiance's lead, he has had enough, if you try bring her back into the fold then he will not thank you for this. It has to be his decision, plain and simple.

And if he does, a few ground rules need to be set.

If you are under my roof, you clean up after yourself, you stop with the nastiness and if you ever steal from me again......

My hubby had a man working under him who had 2 sons.
At the time we lived in the middle east. Each vacation time all the kids came over to stay and of course they all got together to hang out around the pool.
One day my son came home, very distressed. His dads watch, which he had borrowed (so he could make sure he came home on time for tea) had gone missing. He had searched everywhere, his friends helping him but to no avail.
He could only conclude because of this, it had been stolen.
Suspicion landed upon the head of one of the gardeners, a man who had been seen in the area but who swore he had not taken the watch.
So we did a bit more sleuthing and discovered other watches had gone missing over a period of time some of which the gardener hadn't even been on our compound.
It turned out it was one of their friends.
Now that boy could have ended up arrested, he could have ended up losing his right hand for those thefts if we had pushed for justice (Saudi style) and he knew it. Yet he still stole the watches, in total it was nigh on a dozen, ranging in value from a few hundred dollars to my hubbys a several thousand.
Was he mentally ill, not one bit, was he a nasty piece of work who turned on the people he should have cared about, his friends, oh yes.
He was shipped home the same day as the watches were discovered in his room and was never allowed back into Saudi ever again.

I felt sorry for his mother and father, they were decent hard working, honest people. They couldnt understand why their son had done what he had done.

I came to the conclusion it was because some folk are just plain bad.
Toby'shuman is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Oct 2011
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Toby'shuman For This Useful Post:
Beaumont67 (12-11-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 08:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
Alpha
 
flaminscotch's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,312
Location: Cottage country, ON,Canada
Dogs Name: Claire-F GSD, Zachary -M Dobe, Garth Dobe RIP, sweet Chaos Dobe RIP
Titles: My babies

Gallery Pics: 4
Visit flaminscotch's Gallery
Thanks: 2,404
Thanked 2,089 Times in 1,003 Posts
Images: 4
flaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond reputeflaminscotch has a reputation beyond repute
If your house is too quiet and calm without the MIL, I will send you mine.
On a positive note, she is a good baker.
flaminscotch is online now  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Feb 2012
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to flaminscotch For This Useful Post:
*Wrigley* (12-11-2012), Beaumont67 (12-11-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012), dobedream (12-11-2012), ellenm (12-11-2012), natdobe (12-11-2012), pdubois64 (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 08:50 AM   #12 (permalink)
Alpha
 
Kekly's Avatar
 
Posts: 278
Dogs Name: Ginger & Sampson
Dogs Age: 2 1/2 yrs., 8 months
Gallery Pics: 2
Visit Kekly's Gallery
Thanks: 354
Thanked 284 Times in 122 Posts
Images: 2
Kekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud ofKekly has much to be proud of
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedFawnRising View Post
She sounds mentally ill.

Has she ever had an eval, and tx attempts?
I was thinking the same thing. She seems to have some sort of mental illness. Have you or SO looked into getting her into a treatment program? She may not even know she has a mental illness.
Kekly is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Nov 2012
The Following User Says Thank You to Kekly For This Useful Post:
RedFawnRising (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 09:43 AM   #13 (permalink)
we all have our remoras..
 
lolonurse's Avatar
 
Posts: 9,507
Location: Dog Canyon
Dogs Name: Annie & Odie; RIP beloved Alex & Melody, Rocky baby, & now our dear, darling Willie
Titles: Annie - hellion and sorceress; Odie - generic brown dog
Dogs Age: b 7/10/09; b 1/13/13
Gallery Pics: 66
Visit lolonurse's Gallery
Thanks: 25,779
Thanked 21,728 Times in 6,478 Posts
Images: 66
lolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond reputelolonurse has a reputation beyond repute
Click here to find out how lolonurse became a supporter
Hi - You are very fortunate to have a SO who recognizes his mom's problems and is protective of you and his home (and his relationship with you & your toddler). My MIL lived with us for 15 years (after my FIL died, until her death) - she was very clean, very trustworthy as far as honesty - but for the first few years, she was a total bitch, and seemed to entertain herself instigating fights and problems between my DH and me. Finally I had enough, and gave her a piece of my mind, and over the next couple of years, we slowly became good friends (shocker!)

Your MIL-to-be sounds like she has major issues, whether emotional, psychiatric, substance-related - - - doesn't matter. If she isn't willing to get help dealing with them, that's her problem. You are right to want peace and safety in your home, and imo, you are right in never letting her stay with you again unless she makes a 180 turnaround.

(I have a sister who is a lifelong klepto... she not only steals from stores, but from family, but family has always been in denial of it, even when faced with pretty damning evidence. It has caused periods of 5 or 10 years of no communication with her, yet she has never, ever admitted to it, except once when it jeopardized custody of her children. Other than that, it was always someone else's fault or mistake.)
__________________

their pawprints in our hearts never fade
lolonurse is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: May 2008
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to lolonurse For This Useful Post:
cpittman (12-11-2012), ellenm (12-11-2012), Toby'shuman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 10:16 AM   #14 (permalink)
MY BEST FRIEND
 
VZ-Doberman's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,818
Location: Delaware
Dogs Name: Briarwood Back To Basics aka Bacchus
Titles: Yes..........91 titles, awards and certificates and is a service dog.
Dogs Age: 6 Years
Gallery Pics: 0
Visit VZ-Doberman's Gallery
Thanks: 8,122
Thanked 14,256 Times in 4,424 Posts
VZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond reputeVZ-Doberman has a reputation beyond repute
You can't help someone who won't help them self. If she truly has mental issues then see if you can get her into a treatment program. If she refuses to do that then I would make the program a requirement for any future relationship.
VZ-Doberman is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Sep 2009
The Following User Says Thank You to VZ-Doberman For This Useful Post:
cpittman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 12:18 PM   #15 (permalink)
Big Dog
 
cpittman's Avatar
 
Posts: 93
Location: Northern California
Dogs Name: Romeo
Dogs Age: 5 months
Gallery Pics: 0
Visit cpittman's Gallery
Thanks: 254
Thanked 73 Times in 36 Posts
cpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nice
You guys are all right. I had never thought of some sort of mental issue. Is there a type that you guys are thinking of? I would have no idea where to start with that...

My fiance won't really open up and tell me what he is thinking, yet. That is the part that concerns me. I just can't imagine how upsetting this must be for him. And I hope he does eventually tell me exactly how he feels.

Part of me still wonders why he decided to check her bags. I can't imagine thinking that my mother had done something like that...

What are tx attempts?
cpittman is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Mar 2012
Old 12-11-2012, 12:22 PM   #16 (permalink)
Big Dog
 
cpittman's Avatar
 
Posts: 93
Location: Northern California
Dogs Name: Romeo
Dogs Age: 5 months
Gallery Pics: 0
Visit cpittman's Gallery
Thanks: 254
Thanked 73 Times in 36 Posts
cpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nicecpittman is just really nice
Surely this will sound ridiculous, but Romeo never liked her. In fact the first time, we were trying to calm him down for about a half an hour. I always wondered why...
cpittman is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Mar 2012
Old 12-11-2012, 01:02 PM   #17 (permalink)
Alpha
 
dobermansrule's Avatar
 
Posts: 14,261
Location: +45.5140 -122.9455
Dogs Name: quincy
Dogs Age: 10/8/2006
Gallery Pics: 0
Visit dobermansrule's Gallery
Thanks: 9,267
Thanked 29,717 Times in 9,600 Posts
dobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond reputedobermansrule has a reputation beyond repute
you don't have to have her in your home. Offer to drive her to a local homeless shelter. maybe they will have resources there to get her help. Or send her to Portland, OR - the homeless here have options and get help if they really want it.
dobermansrule is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Feb 2008
Old 12-11-2012, 03:31 PM   #18 (permalink)
Alpha
 
Toby'shuman's Avatar
 
Posts: 4,813
Location: Spain
Dogs Name: Toby the Dobe, Russell the Andalucian Terrier, Reina the Pointador. Sasha & Jack at the Bridge
Titles: Yep, loads, but none printable. lol
Dogs Age: 7th Nov 2010 -
Gallery Pics: 24
Visit Toby'shuman's Gallery
Thanks: 13,157
Thanked 10,751 Times in 3,597 Posts
Images: 24
Toby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond reputeToby'shuman has a reputation beyond repute
Only a doctor can really say if her problems are due to a mental illness or the like.

Thing is, unless she agrees to see a doctor and accept his/her findings then nothing can be done.

And unless your Fiance is on side I would advise you tread carefully. For a son to turn against his own mother suggests he has past experience with her having sticky fingers etc.
And perhaps his throwing her out is his way of giving her the short sharp shock he believes she needs to seek help.
Toby'shuman is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Oct 2011
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Toby'shuman For This Useful Post:
Beaumont67 (12-11-2012), cpittman (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 06:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
Alpha
 
Posts: 1,927

Gallery Pics: 0
Visit natdobe's Gallery
Thanks: 2,492
Thanked 1,918 Times in 825 Posts
natdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond reputenatdobe has a reputation beyond repute
Quote:
Originally Posted by flaminscotch View Post
If your house is too quiet and calm without the MIL, I will send you mine.
On a positive note, she is a good baker.
This made me belly laugh! I'll send you mine too. It is good that your fiancÚ stood up to her. I'm sorry about your situation. My MIL wouldn't steal any of our belongings BUT she would love to steal her son away from me! She thinks I'm not worthy of him. She thinks everything including our dog's are HIS. She thinks he takes care of them which is funny because he doesn't even know what meds they take, how much to feed them, etc. He doesn't even know the name of the vet we use! I'm not knocking him because I do stay at home and take care of them and all of the house work, but she just thinks he takes care of everything. Sorry for derailing the thread, but MIL issues make my blood boil!
natdobe is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Nov 2006
Old 12-11-2012, 07:01 PM   #20 (permalink)
Wears Sandwitch Board
 
RedFawnRising's Avatar
 
Posts: 21,086
Dogs Name: Whisper; George; Slick Wilhemina, Nashua
Titles: George-Working Service Dog
Dogs Age: 5 yr, 4 yr, 3 yr, 1yr
Gallery Pics: 3
Visit RedFawnRising's Gallery
Thanks: 66,970
Thanked 71,755 Times in 16,991 Posts
Images: 3
RedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond reputeRedFawnRising has a reputation beyond repute
Click here to find out how RedFawnRising became a supporter
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpittman View Post
You guys are all right. I had never thought of some sort of mental issue. Is there a type that you guys are thinking of? I would have no idea where to start with that...

My fiance won't really open up and tell me what he is thinking, yet. That is the part that concerns me. I just can't imagine how upsetting this must be for him. And I hope he does eventually tell me exactly how he feels.

Part of me still wonders why he decided to check her bags. I can't imagine thinking that my mother had done something like that...

What are tx attempts?

Sorry, treatment attempts.

It may be they will find some depression and anxiety issues. There may also be some components of one or more personality disorder(s). Which is not the same thing as someone having a crappy personality that gets on your nerves

As someone else already mentioned, if substance abuse is part of the issue, well, that complicates things even more. Sometimes, even folks you'd never see as a "drunk" or stoner, may be abusing prescription medications.

You just never know, but usually when someone's life is THAT crapped up, there is an underlying mental health issue of some sort. They still need to take responsiblity as they recover, but it may be she will not be able to change without help.
__________________

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."
―Cyril Connolly
RedFawnRising is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Join Date: Jun 2008
The Following User Says Thank You to RedFawnRising For This Useful Post:
melbrod (12-11-2012)
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:04 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0 Beta 2
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2 ©2009, Crawlability, Inc.
@2005 - 2008 DobermanTalk.com
PetGuide.com
Basset.net DobermanTalk.com GoldenRetrieverForum.com OurBeagleWorld.com
BoxerForums.com DogForums.com GoPitbull.com PoodleForum.com
BulldogBreeds.com FishForums.com HavaneseForum.com SpoiledMaltese.com
CatForum.com GermanShepherds.com Labradoodle-dogs.net YorkieForum.com
Chihuahua-People.com RetrieverBreeds.com