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Old 11-26-2012, 10:33 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Time to share

In August my precious Dobergirl Chaos passed away.
At that time I chose to share with everyone here that my father also had cancer.

My father passed away this week.

Less than 12 weeks and cancer takes my baby girl and my dad.

I know there are many others who have lost a Doberbaby or a loved one to this terrible disease.

At the beginning of November, Dad and I got on the computer and researched the location for our Secret santa. Dad is an animal lover and thought it was great that I was sending a gift to a dog on the other side of the world. We looked up the geography and the weather in that part of the country. Then Dad helped me make some online choices for gifts.
The internet was overwhelming for him but he always made time for anything I was interested in.

It is very difficult for me to realize I no longer have my Dad to talk to. He was my good friend and always told me he was proud of me. I will miss his support in my decisions and his presence at my horseshows.

Although I am an adult, and married, his opinion still meant a lot. I never wanted to disappoint him.
His last night awake he told me I was always his good girl, and always would be.

Dad lived with us for several months so I could spend as much time with him and take care of him. He passed away peacefully in my home.

Both Zack and Claire are missing their Grandpa.
Of course both damn dogs got in bed with him. Zack busted the gate down and was curled up on the bed.

The morning after, I was crying in bed, and Zack licked the tears from my eyelashes. Who would have thought that big galoot would be so sensitive.

Thank you for letting me share. Colleen
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I'm very sorry for your losses.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I am sorry for the pain that you are going through.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:55 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I am so sorry for your losses. You and your family are in my prayers.


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Old 11-26-2012, 10:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Very sorry for your loss.
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Old 11-26-2012, 10:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I am sorry for your losses, it cannot be easy.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I am so sorry for your losses
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Oh, Colleen. I'm deeply sorry.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:36 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry to hear this, all the best.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:51 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Thank you for sharing the lovely story about your dad and the Secret Santa. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you have Claire and Zack to offer comfort and help get you through this tough time.
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Old 11-26-2012, 12:35 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I am so very sorry to hear that you've lost your dad, here, in his body. As a friend oft reminds me regarding my mother, you can still talk to him anytime. His replies will be written in your heart.

There really is no substitute for the precious time you two spent during his final path steps, with you caring for him in your home. I know you will come to cherish that time dearly in the coming years.

It hurts, and there is no "getting over" it, ever. But you can integrate your loss into who you are always becoming. Over time, I know you will.

I spent a lot of time contemplating my mother's life after the point where she lost her anchor (her dad), and I saw that she had demonstrated for me that there is life, is joy, even after these kinds of huge, aching losses. Still, it was fully six months after her passing before I had an "I'd like to...." type of thought. I just had no will; was merely doing the daily "gottas" for those six months. I knew, though, that my mom would expect me to live as well as I humanly could. And I know your dad would expect the same of you; it is his legacy, shown to you in his kindnesses through the years.

Comfort to you during this extremely difficult time.
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Old 11-26-2012, 01:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I'm sorry you lost your dobe and of course your dad. My dad has been gone almost 4 years and I miss him everyday. He lived with us and it's even harder during the holidays. Hugs from across the miles!!
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Old 11-26-2012, 03:57 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm so very sorry for your loss. My dad passed away of colon cancer on Valentines Day in 2004. Like your dad, my dad always told me how proud he was of me. On the toughest of days, I can still hear him and it brings me much comfort. I wish the same for you.
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Old 11-26-2012, 04:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry.


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Old 11-26-2012, 07:39 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I'm so very sorry.

Healing thoughts to you.
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Old 11-26-2012, 07:46 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I am so sorry. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.
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Old 11-26-2012, 08:01 PM   #17 (permalink)
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So sorry for your losses.... cancer has taken too many.
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Old 11-27-2012, 02:57 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Colleen - I am so sorry to hear this - I didn't know. I feel for you.

My mom died 33 years ago, when I was only 29. She was only 51 years old, and it seemed like the most unfair and cruel thing in the world. I was only married a few years, and my mom never got to see any grandchildren, or her daughters' professional successes, etc. And it just hurt my dad so deeply, too.

I'm not a traditional believer in things like heaven, angels, etc. But I do believe we each have a spirit, and as the years go by, I believe it more. Even after all this time, I will have dreams about my mother, but they aren't like "memory" dreams - they are more like little messages, little "hello's", if you will. As if she is actually touching me through a dream.

So perhaps your dear Dad will do the same. You know he would want you to carry only the good with you, and let the bad, sad and lonely parts go. And may I say that, despite all you have gone through and are going through (or maybe because of it?) ... your beautiful, generous heart is shining through. You know what I mean.
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Old 11-27-2012, 03:30 PM   #19 (permalink)
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So very sorry for your losses.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:37 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Cancer is a terrible thing, it took my grandad, when i was young and still to this day it saddens me that there isnt a cure.
R.I.P to them both.
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Old 11-27-2012, 09:08 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Posts: 8,050
Location: Oshawa, Ontario
Dogs Name: Jasmine, Cash,
Titles: Cash-IPO1,BH,TT,CGN, Jasmine-BH
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Oh I am so sorry about both your best friends. I often think about my Dad to, and it sometimes brings tears to my eyes. I have found that since my Dad has passed he often comes to my thoughts randomly. Almost like he is there by my side, hopefully that will be the case for you to.

Sad that you lost both but have comfort that Chaos is probably watching over and keeping your Dad company.
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