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Old 11-22-2012, 12:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Friendly advice needed in Daughter/Father/Dog situation

Hi, its me... just here because I wanted to ask a question that is off topic. I was doing some reading on aggressiveness in dogs and I am trying to figure out why my father's dog, Ghetto, a boxer/pit/bulldog, would bite me 5 times for no reason. Here's a pic of his recent bite which was last December.

Friendly advice needed in Daughter/Father/Dog situation-001.jpg

When he bit me then, I was home alone (at the time living with my father) and my father was gone for the weekend. Now, even though I know Ghetto would become extremely possessive over ONLY rawhide bones, we had to stop giving them to him. It became so that we had to walk atleast 5-8 feet away from him when he'd have one or he'd act like he was gonna bite your ankle.

At work, my boss had bought a jumbo candy cane bag with presents for dogs inside and.... even though I knew we stopped giving it to him, it was his christmas gift. I honestly was just trying to make him feel special when daddy's not around.

So, I was sitting on the couch watching t.v. Ghetto was chewing his bone near the kitchen. When my show was done I started to get up. But before I could even get my butt out the chair HE LUNGES for me. I dodged the first attack but he came at me again and got my thigh. Then he was still coming after me I had to jump on the dining table! I was literally up there for 5 minutes. Every time I tried to get down he would run to the table.

His cage was next to the dining table and his leash was on top. I grabbed it, knowing that whenever he sees his leash he automatically wants to go outside, forgetting everything. I lasso it around his head, and as soon as i did that he started walking toward the back door, while im still on the table. Luckily I was able to open the door while still on the table. I jumped off and tied him up outside. Called dad and told him he's staying tied up till he gets him so you need to come home now!


Now, my question is, since I moved out, I am even more extremely uncomfortable to be around Ghetto and my dad DOES NOT UNDERSTAND that. He keeps making excuses. He said I never should have bought it. I said" I didnt know he was gonna attack me!" In the past when we gave him one he would only try to bite our feet as we walk past, he's never actually bit me. The first time he bit me because I picked him up, thinking we were friends. The 2nd time he was on the couch and wouldn't get off on command so when i grabbed his collar he bit me. The 3rd time I woke up for work and he's at the end of my bed and I know he's mad because I use to let him sleep in my bed, but my dad said not to anymore because he doesn't listens when he tells him to get off. So that morning Ghetto tried to get on my bed and i had to push him off of the bed and then when I got up and was petting his head, I heard a growl and he bit my hand real bad... The 4th time... WE WERE PLAYING. we always played together, rough or playful. I was on the floor with him and he went into his cage to get his blanket and I told him " no, put it back." He did and then when he came out I went to close it and he attacked my ankle even worse! Out of the blue. I still have all 5 scars.

I dont know how to get dad to realize that now that I no longer live with him I want nothing to do with Ghetto. I don't know why he keeps defending him, i feel like he chose him over me. I had to be his chew toy for 2 years. I was working at the animal shelter too back them and when the Chief found out about the third time be wanted to put Ghetto down. But I didnt want to make my father mad. How do I tell him I dont like to be around him.

Im afraid to tell my dad that I dont even want to hug him in front of Ghetto because Im worried he's gonna attack my ankle.

What should I say? And whats up with Ghetto's behavior?

He could really really hurt someone one day. I know my dad likes that he protects him but being protective and vicious is two different things.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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oh, and he's not neutered, about 7 yrs old now
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I can't suggest anything with the aggressive behaviour. Personally I would stop giving him those particular bones but that doesn't mean he wont find another object to protect.

If you want your father to realize you don't want to be around Ghetto simply tell him that. I can't imagine it would be hard to understand after suffering multiple bites from him. Or, ask him to muzzle the dog when you visit.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Sounds like a dog with the wrong type of owner and an owner that enables poor behavior. The humans need to stop putting human emotions on the dog and feeling sorry for him, and the dog needs some SERIOUS behavioral modification(as does your father). He bites and gets away with it so why would he stop? Does your dad ever punish or correct this dog, and if so, how?
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Your dad needs the help of a professional trainer. Doesn't sound like your dad will do that or even believes there's a problem though.

If I were you, I'd probably stop going to my dad's house to visit him. I'd invite him to my house when I wanted to visit, with explicit instructions that his dog is not welcome in my home under any circumstances. How do you tell your father that? Well...sometimes being an adult with your parents sucks. You just have to tell him and know that there will likely be quite a bit of unpleasant backlash considering your dad's lack of concern for you and the situation up to this point.

Not ideal but I think that's reality. There are many people who have no business owning any dog, especially not one that needs special management and handling. I think your dad is one of those people, and his dog and everyone they encounter suffers for it.

Sorry. That's a crappy situation.
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Old 11-22-2012, 12:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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All he does is put him in the cage and wait for me to say it ok with being around him. YES, my father need not own a dog... But my dad is a very hard, mean man. You cant tell him nothing or it will blow up into an argument. He wants me to take Ghetto to work next week and I don't want to take him. I hope i can find a way without him being mad at me but its his fault he raised a vicious dog and Im not putting any employers at risk or myself anymore. My dad's 58, very stern. Maybe I should just be open and tell him that I only put up with it because I was under your roof and he wore the pants in the house, so now, even though i know not 100% of the time he's vicious, i cant chance it anymore.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:01 PM   #7 (permalink)
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All he does is put him in the cage and wait for me to say it ok with being around him. YES, my father need not own a dog... But my dad is a very hard, mean man. You cant tell him nothing or it will blow up into an argument. He wants me to take Ghetto to work next week and I don't want to take him. I hope i can find a way without him being mad at me but its his fault he raised a vicious dog and Im not putting any employers at risk or myself anymore. My dad's 58, very stern. Maybe I should just be open and tell him that I only put up with it because I was under your roof and he wore the pants in the house, so now, even though i know not 100% of the time he's vicious, i cant chance it anymore.
Look, I'm not an expert on family relations and I'm not a family counselor but, this is YOUR life and YOUR safety.

I'm sorry but if one of my family members tried telling me I *had* to do something I felt strongly against or else they'd be p*ssed off at me, I'd just have to tell them to get as mad as they want and I'd move on with my life.

If you don't live with your dad and you're over the age of 18, you are, in fact, an adult and he has no actual power over you or control over your life.

You're allowed to cut people out of your life when they're hurtful and harmful to your well being whether it's physically or emotionally or both. It doesn't make you a bad person if you stand up for yourself. You fearfully taking orders from him doesn't make him a happy person. He's responsible for what makes him happy or angry in life. Not you. His happiness or the lack thereof in life is not your responsibility, but yours is.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:02 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Yes i agree. I mean, i know pet owners still have learning to do, even I. But some things are just plain common sense. I could never tell daddy I think he's a horrible individual. He brings Ghetto around people! Children! Aunties, uncles. I mean he went after my 11 yr old nephews ankle and everytime he just wants to shake it off

He's bit my step mom and step sister, uncle. But never my dad...erggg, i hate confrontations, im not getting him! Ill just suck it up and tell him I can no longer be around ghetto.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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You don't have to tell your dad that's he's a horrible individual. You don't have to tell him anything at all other than you're not taking his dog to work with you and you won't visit him as long as he has the dog. There doesn't have to be any kind of laying blame whatsoever as hard as that may be or no matter how much you might like to get it off your chest with him that he's hurtful and mean. But your safety is at risk being around that dog, and I would absolutely stop putting myself in situations where I'm forced to interact with the dog.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Well, they do say that a dog will take after it's owners personality....

Don't take Ghetto to work, that could lead to a potential disaster.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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This sounds like resource guarding that has gotten so out of control that it has become a hugely dangerous situation. No way i would keep getting bit, no matter whose dog it was. I also would NEVER take this dog anywhere. The liability issues alone...

Maybe buy your dad a copy of the book "Mine!" (resource guarding training manual) for Xmas? Although at 7, and resorting to actual bites, and having it reinforced for so long it's gonna be a HUGE challenge to stop this behavior. He sounds like he long ago figured out biting people means he gets to keep the object.

Good luck
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Your right. I am my own person, and I do want to be happy. I dont want anymore scars. Im black so when I get a scar its so unattractive. I dont even wear swim suits now because of it. Really I want to cry sometimes because how could he let him bite me that many times, Im his youngest daughter. He never cared after the fact and that always cut like a knife. I mean, when dad and my mom separated we had a doberman named Spike who was mostly my fathers dog and after the divorce my mom kept him. Spike tried to attack my mom one time and she got rid of him. Missy, our pitmix, kept attacking Strider a cocker and she gave away Missy.

You know, Ghetto could've killed me!
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Your dad needs the help of a professional trainer. Doesn't sound like your dad will do that or even believes there's a problem though.

If I were you, I'd probably stop going to my dad's house to visit him. I'd invite him to my house when I wanted to visit, with explicit instructions that his dog is not welcome in my home under any circumstances. How do you tell your father that? Well...sometimes being an adult with your parents sucks. You just have to tell him and know that there will likely be quite a bit of unpleasant backlash considering your dad's lack of concern for you and the situation up to this point.

Not ideal but I think that's reality. There are many people who have no business owning any dog, especially not one that needs special management and handling. I think your dad is one of those people, and his dog and everyone they encounter suffers for it.

Sorry. That's a crappy situation.
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You don't have to tell your dad that's he's a horrible individual. You don't have to tell him anything at all other than you're not taking his dog to work with you and you won't visit him as long as he has the dog. There doesn't have to be any kind of laying blame whatsoever as hard as that may be or no matter how much you might like to get it off your chest with him that he's hurtful and mean. But your safety is at risk being around that dog, and I would absolutely stop putting myself in situations where I'm forced to interact with the dog.
Well, when I say my dad shouldnt have a dog, its not just because of ghetto. He had another dog before ghetto. He told me the story and he shouldve known it was gonna upset me... Would you guys like to know, its pretty bad. Of course I couldnt do anything because he told me the story 3 yrs later and I was living in atlanta at the time.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:28 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Can you post a photo of this dog? Just curious what he looks like. It's owners like your dad that make responsible owners of these breeds take huge steps back in our fight to show the public and media that these dogs are not monsters. He is not only hurting his family, he is hurting an entire population of responsible dog owners who are trying to change public perception.

It sounds like this dog's issues are environmental. I bet with the proper upbringing and owner, he would be a totally different dog at this age.

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Old 11-22-2012, 01:36 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Well, when I say my dad shouldnt have a dog, its not just because of ghetto. He had another dog before ghetto. He told me the story and he shouldve known it was gonna upset me... Would you guys like to know, its pretty bad. Of course I couldnt do anything because he told me the story 3 yrs later and I was living in atlanta at the time.
I'm going to guess he beat the dog...if you told the story it would certainly help people figure out how to give you better advice.
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Old 11-22-2012, 01:41 PM   #16 (permalink)
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What should I say? And whats up with Ghetto's behavior?

He could really really hurt someone one day. I know my dad likes that he protects him but being protective and vicious is two different things.
Without seeing Ghetto I doubt anyone can honestly say why Ghetto is doing what he is doing. I guess it could be due to some medical issue, training issue or simply because he is just plain bad tempered. What I can say is, it is totally unacceptable and something must be done before he injures either you more seriously or some other poor soul.

As for him really hurting someone one day, well in my opinion he has done this already. He has bitten you not once, but 5 times, he has drawn blood, not from some home invader but a family member. Granted you walked away from all the incidences, or at least hobbled in some of the cases. But it has to be said these are not playful nips inflicted during an overexcited game but rather they are bites. He travelled across a room to bite you, for simply getting up from your seat. Hell in a basket if ever a dog needs to see a behaviourist or PTS this is one.

Your father is deluding himself if he thinks what Ghetto is doing can be excused. His head in the sand attitude might one day cost someone their life. Ghetto has already bitten you on your thigh, he obviously doesnt seem to understand such a bite is a heartbeat away from hitting someones Femoral Artery and what then.

As for making your dad mad, if you no longer live under his roof and are an adult, then he has no power over you, other than what you give him.

If your Father is unwilling to do something about his dog, decline to enter his home, visit with him outside, without Ghetto in tow and for the love of dogs, do not take so unpredictable a dog to work with you..
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Old 11-22-2012, 09:26 PM   #17 (permalink)
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jesus, your father needs to stop buying dogs...and he needs to neuter Ghetto. he needed to do it 6 years ago.

stop going to your father's house. if he's a mean person who doesn't actually care for your safety, you have no reason to go over there.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:02 PM   #18 (permalink)
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No, I never saw him beat him. And my step sister and ma knew him since a puppy, whereas i didnt.

He told me a story of the dog he had before ghetto. He was a really hyper i guess and daddy did not like that so he drove the a park. ( He told me the story because we were driving through it) He said he made the dog get out and left him there. I wasnt able to talk to him last night because he did not show up for dinner.

Ill post a pic of him in a few, have to let my phone charge
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:06 PM   #19 (permalink)
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jesus, your father needs to stop buying dogs...and he needs to neuter Ghetto. he needed to do it 6 years ago.

stop going to your father's house. if he's a mean person who doesn't actually care for your safety, you have no reason to go over there.
What's even more crazy is that he has told me and Ghetto if Ghetto ever bites him, he's gone.

" Oh o.k daddy, its okay for him to bite me 1-2-3-4-5 times and keep him? But if he bites you once he's gone?"
Made no sense to me
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:13 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Friendly advice needed in Daughter/Father/Dog situation-20121123_140743.jpg

Here's Ghetto.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:18 PM   #21 (permalink)
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oh and the other thing he HATES mail men or truck. If he sees it he's going for it until out of sight. Last time he was in my car he was going crazy in the car and it wasnt until I saw a mail truck close behind me that I knew why. He would not calm down and the truck was still behind me. I had to pull over and let it pass. I mean Ghetto was going really crazy and thought he was gonna brake my glass.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:30 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Attachment 19319

Here's Ghetto.
Wow, from what I can see in his picture, Ghetto looks VERY STESSED just having his picture taken!

Check out this webpage and site:
Liam J Perk Foundation - Cape Coral, Florida
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:35 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Attachment 19319

Here's Ghetto.

Apologies, I have no real advice. But that is a picture of a dog about to bite (whale eye, looking away, ears pinned, the tongue lick). I wish I knew how to convince your dad that the dog is not all right, and that the dog's behavior is not all right.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:54 PM   #24 (permalink)
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yea... just crazy. The last time he bit me I wanted to PTS but just couldnt do it without dad's permission.
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Old 11-23-2012, 02:05 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Wow, from what I can see in his picture, Ghetto looks VERY STESSED just having his picture taken!

Check out this webpage and site:
Liam J Perk Foundation - Cape Coral, Florida
Thanks for the website
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