Value yourself enough to get sober.
Don't do it because of any other person, do it for you
. (Okay, well, maybe for Lexi too, but she's better than another person.)
When you're ready--and it will be a while, don't let it get you down and giving up--you'll have learned some new skills.
Skills that will help you observe character
, rather than personality
That will help you require others to earn your trust, rather than you just giving it too freely. And I'm not talking about being bitter or making the next gal "pay" for the sins of the ex. I mean being able to really SEE who has a good heart and soul, and then putting your trust in that.
Sorry if this sound harsh, but you did not show the ex any respect when you harassed her (using your word) and bothered her family and friends.
She didn't show any respect for you, or for herself, by devolving into throwing things and acting like a crazy person.
The whole thing sounds like two people who are not evil, but do need to work on getting their own heads on straight, first. Probably neither one of you should try to do that alone--that's just being masochistic. Get some help, whatever kind of help works for you, and don't give up 'til you find what/who works for you.
Now, could you fix my life, for me?