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Old 11-13-2012, 04:30 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Hugs hun.

been there got the tshirt and still getting over it !!

im self employed and my hours change on a weekly basis... so its very hard to budget.

all i can say is at least you dont have kids lol !!

ive just turned 40 and for the first time in my life im actually starting to cope.. my other half is fab.. earns a hell of a lot but is still work three jobs to survive.. he at one point had two jobs.. hes now given up the second one as he wasnt earning enought to make the hours worthe while.

i agree have a yard sale.. or a car boot sale as we say in the uk lol.

ive done that many times to pay bills.

eat pasta for a month.

and no treats, take outs, beer etc.

i also know where your coming from with the depression.. i have a lot of experience in that.. if you need a private chat message me on fb xx

it will all work out eventualy.. it always does xx doesnt seem like it will now.. but it will.. xx
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:07 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by voodoolizard View Post
Hugs hun.

been there got the tshirt and still getting over it !!

im self employed and my hours change on a weekly basis... so its very hard to budget.

all i can say is at least you dont have kids lol !!

ive just turned 40 and for the first time in my life im actually starting to cope.. my other half is fab.. earns a hell of a lot but is still work three jobs to survive.. he at one point had two jobs.. hes now given up the second one as he wasnt earning enought to make the hours worthe while.

i agree have a yard sale.. or a car boot sale as we say in the uk lol.

ive done that many times to pay bills.

eat pasta for a month.

and no treats, take outs, beer etc.

i also know where your coming from with the depression.. i have a lot of experience in that.. if you need a private chat message me on fb xx

it will all work out eventualy.. it always does xx doesnt seem like it will now.. but it will.. xx
I feel your pain! Both incomes in my household are from a self employed source. Things can become very tight at times! This past summer was very tight....just starting to recover from that!
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Old 11-13-2012, 06:43 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Hjgrl I don't care how you have to do it, another credit card, a loan from the bank...just get in that school.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:45 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Hang in there!

Not much time for a reply but quickly wanted to say:
kwhite- if you work at a college usually you can attend tuition FREE after being an employee for a certain period of time. I would definitely check out this option as you don't have to be a professor to take advantage of this. Direct family member usually can attend also (hubby, children, etc.)

Not to mention, depending on how nice the school is, you get a great benefit of being able to use all the campus stuff like the pool, library, track, etc. This is really worth checking into. You could look into moving to the Lynchburg area with several colleges right there. Lexington, Va has 2 schools. Williamsburg, Hampton Roads area. Several places in VA that are way cheaper than Leesburg.

Hjgrl- I agree you have to attend that school somehow. Student loans if scholarship not an option? Or defer your acceptance if possible and regroup for next year, get a grip with hubby's situation, and keep an eye on the goal.


I think most everyone on here of a certain age can relate to a time of financial strain and crisis. You just have to keep one foot in front of the other and keep trudging toward small achievable goals.
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Old 11-13-2012, 08:07 PM   #55 (permalink)
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I have nothing to add to what has already been said by some wonderful people but don't ever feel bad about talking and venting. Far better than keeping everything pent up. I am, most likely, one of the "seniors" on DT and have had lots of ups and downs over the years. Although I know it is hard, please hang in there. Sometimes when you least expect it, something will happen to put you back on track. Sometimes just brainstorming ideas with others will come up with a good idea. I am wishing you all the luck and my thoughts are with you.
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:09 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Hjgrl I don't care how you have to do it, another credit card, a loan from the bank...just get in that school.
the sentiment is good... but potentially could have a boat anchor of debt around her neck that will spend a lifetime paying off.
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:27 AM   #57 (permalink)
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Hang in there!

Not much time for a reply but quickly wanted to say:
kwhite- if you work at a college usually you can attend tuition FREE after being an employee for a certain period of time. I would definitely check out this option as you don't have to be a professor to take advantage of this. Direct family member usually can attend also (hubby, children, etc.)

Not to mention, depending on how nice the school is, you get a great benefit of being able to use all the campus stuff like the pool, library, track, etc. This is really worth checking into. You could look into moving to the Lynchburg area with several colleges right there. Lexington, Va has 2 schools. Williamsburg, Hampton Roads area. Several places in VA that are way cheaper than Leesburg.

Hjgrl- I agree you have to attend that school somehow. Student loans if scholarship not an option? Or defer your acceptance if possible and regroup for next year, get a grip with hubby's situation, and keep an eye on the goal.


I think most everyone on here of a certain age can relate to a time of financial strain and crisis. You just have to keep one foot in front of the other and keep trudging toward small achievable goals.
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Hjgrl I don't care how you have to do it, another credit card, a loan from the bank...just get in that school.
I appealed the denial of financial aid/student loans. Yes, even government student loans that I would pay back were denied. The reason I got denied is b/c I have a degree from that school already. As part of my appeal I made sure to point out that 2 years worth of my school there was paid for by outside scholarships, not by government aid, not by that school, outside full tuition scholarships that I was awarded.

At this point I'm waiting on the committee to review my appeal and won't know anything on that front until the week before classes start. Not really very helpful. I have my orientation for the nursing program tomorrow and I'm debating on whether I should go considering at this moment I have no financial means of quitting my current job to attend. The sad thing is, I was going to do this program the first time around but my dad passed and I ended up having to get a full time job and couldn't do it b/c of work, so I did the legal field instead. Second time around looks like I may be running into similar problems. But God willing I'll find a way.
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:30 AM   #58 (permalink)
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the sentiment is good... but potentially could have a boat anchor of debt around her neck that will spend a lifetime paying off.
While I feel an advanced education is 'priceless', the above is good to keep in mind.
I decided to go back to school a 'couple' of years ago. I was in a dead end job, and my life, while not extremely uncomfortable, was somewhat stagnant. Not enough $ to really do what I wanted (or should have, or needed), just getting by. It seemed like a good time to further my education, and expand into a career. I took out a student loan to go back to school. Had I *known then that the job market was soon to implode and the economy all but collapse (which it looks like it will soon enough) I would have figured another way. Every month I make that student loan payment, every time I do I say to myself "This attempt to better myself was the biggest mistake in my life". I know that my outlook is not true, I know it will pay off, I know my timing was poor, and I now pay much closer attention.

*I knew, I knew it was coming, I just didn't see how quickly.

Make the hard choices. Look at the needs in your life. Move if you need to. Get the crappy job if you need to, knowing you can better things once you are stable again. It sucks, it won't be easy, but getting to a stable place now may save you massive pain and suffering a little later.
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:30 AM   #59 (permalink)
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the sentiment is good... but potentially could have a boat anchor of debt around her neck that will spend a lifetime paying off.
I agree, I will have student loan debt but my current field has no opportunities for any type of advancement, horrible benefits, horrible pay. I desperately need a change... and if I don't at least try to change my situation then I certainly can't complain about it.
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:35 AM   #60 (permalink)
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I agree, I will have student loan debt but my current field has no opportunities for any type of advancement, horrible benefits, horrible pay. I desperately need a change... and if I don't at least try to change my situation then I certainly can't complain about it.
yes, I know... just be reasonable about the debt. Don't be one of those people that goes $40,000, or more, into debt for a degree that doesn't command the paycheck to pay it back in a a reasonable time. And just be prepared to have a budget line item for student loan payment - potentially a $300 - $500/month leak in your wallet, for years. But there is a lot to be said for being happy in ones career - as long as that happiness out weighs the angst you might feel writing the monthly bills.
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:46 AM   #61 (permalink)
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yes, I know... just be reasonable about the debt. Don't be one of those people that goes $40,000, or more, into debt for a degree that doesn't command the paycheck to pay it back in a a reasonable time. And just be prepared to have a budget line item for student loan payment - potentially a $300 - $500/month leak in your wallet, for years. But there is a lot to be said for being happy in ones career - as long as that happiness out weighs the angst you might feel writing the monthly bills.
I agree with you. I actually only need 5 more semesters and will be graduated by August 2014 if I'm able to begin classes in January.

At the moment, whenvever I look for jobs in my chosen field they're pretty plentiful. Now, that may change in the next couple of years but around here there never seems to be a shortage of RN jobs available, and most of them pay pretty good as well. This is of course presuming that I do well in the program and am able to pass my boards :/
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Old 11-14-2012, 10:53 AM   #62 (permalink)
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I agree with you. I actually only need 5 more semesters and will be graduated by August 2014 if I'm able to begin classes in January.

At the moment, whenvever I look for jobs in my chosen field they're pretty plentiful. Now, that may change in the next couple of years but around here there never seems to be a shortage of RN jobs available, and most of them pay pretty good as well. This is of course presuming that I do well in the program and am able to pass my boards :/
change your thinking.... you will do well and you will pass the boards
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Old 11-14-2012, 11:34 AM   #63 (permalink)
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I agree with everyone else, be careful with student loans. Know what the average starting salary is, as well as what the likely max out would be. We have a boatload of student debt from my wife's post grad schooling. It was well worth it, but it really is like another mortgage payment every month. Borrow no more than you absolutely must and live very "small" while you are in school and it will pay off
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Old 11-14-2012, 04:13 PM   #64 (permalink)
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I think you would be able to make payments and pay off any debt occurred once you are working in the nursing field. I am a legal secretary and I hate, HATE it. To be your age and get another crack at it...I really hope you can find a way. I have no desire to go back now, I'm going to retire soon and my husband makes good money. I'm working now only to finish helping my kids out with college. If you were my daughter...sorry I digress...LOL. I really do hope you can swing it somehow.

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I agree, I will have student loan debt but my current field has no opportunities for any type of advancement, horrible benefits, horrible pay. I desperately need a change... and if I don't at least try to change my situation then I certainly can't complain about it.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:28 AM   #65 (permalink)
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We had a very successful business in 2010 we had to walk away from due to circumstances we couldn't control. We worked for a year with another company and thought this was a great opportunity until they told us we brought nothing to the table. My husband resigned and we started another business we are in now....we had investors who said they wanted to help but it's never materialized. We just got another opportunity to move to Miami and work. We will know more on Saturday.......it's bad out there. We pay the bills we can and put food on the table. I believe in working also. Hang in there!!
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Old 11-15-2012, 03:31 AM   #66 (permalink)
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Sorry to sound dumb, but is an RN a registered nurse or the like?

I do not know how helpful this might be, but what do your Armed Forces offer in terms of further education? In the UK you can be sponsored by the Armed Forces to attend University or Medical School the only proviso is that you promise to give them x amount of years after graduation. It might not be an option, but hey, they provide you with food, a roof over your head and training and when you come out, you are your own man/woman. No student loans, no bank loans taken out to pay for tuition and the like.

It is just a thought, my Grandson is considering this route at the moment. He cannot afford to go on to further education, student loans are hard to come by in the UK, even harder here in Spain. But the forces are still recruiting.
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:00 AM   #67 (permalink)
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Actually Katie, it doesn't seem like NOTHING to me! Right now I feel as low as you are and sound. At least you are venting. It's tough being there for everybody else, but when we need someone to HEAR us, it seems everyone is DEAF! I'd love to vent right now myself, but that isn't going to do you any good. I only WISH I had words to lift you up and millions of $$$ to help those that are struggling who actually WANT to work. If listening is of any benefit to you girl, then I am obsolutely ALL EARS! Thank goodness you are young. I know that really doesn't help much right now, but there will be other holidays. I had several with small children that I couldn't spend on anyone else and their gifts were pretty small. Again, vent away, dear heart! The least I can do is HEAR what you are saying and where you are coming from.
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:51 AM   #68 (permalink)
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hjgrl: It isn't leaving just over money issues if you ask me. I hate the thought of someone else spending almost 18 years of their lives with someone who may never grow up and remain a Good-Time-Charly! I had that. I didn't exactly leave. He died. I know this sounds really awful, but I honestly felt like a bird let out of a cage. We tried the separate/together/etc over and over again. We always ended up back together. So that says something pretty awful about me, I think. I just hate to think of people in a situation where they HOPE their mate becomes different and really what it often is: What You See Is What You Get". Sorry, Katie I had to reply back to her.
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:49 AM   #69 (permalink)
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Sorry to sound dumb, but is an RN a registered nurse or the like?
Yes, an RN is a Registered Nurse. There are also LVN (Licensed Vocational Nurse) and LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse), depending on the state your are in. Don't ask me what the differences are, though, because I don't know that, just that there are the different types.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:16 PM   #70 (permalink)
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ok so I might kill my SO. He is a great guy don't get me wrong and he has really stepped up but he has also created a new habit of effing complaining about everything! I'm about to hurt him. Every little thing has been getting on his nerves. I don't know if it's stress or what but he's really pissing me off today.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:22 PM   #71 (permalink)
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ok so I might kill my SO. He is a great guy don't get me wrong and he has really stepped up but he has also created a new habit of effing complaining about everything! I'm about to hurt him. Every little thing has been getting on his nerves. I don't know if it's stress or what but he's really pissing me off today.
we men are a little like babies. Give him a toy (an inexpensive toy), it's like a pacifier.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:45 PM   #72 (permalink)
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we men are a little like babies. Give him a toy (an inexpensive toy), it's like a pacifier.
haha I love this answer. I guess Diesel isn't my only child. Silly men.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:04 PM   #73 (permalink)
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ok so I might kill my SO. He is a great guy don't get me wrong and he has really stepped up but he has also created a new habit of effing complaining about everything! I'm about to hurt him. Every little thing has been getting on his nerves. I don't know if it's stress or what but he's really pissing me off today.
Probably stress. I used to do the same to my SO. Until I realized that being negative about everything doesn't make anything better.

Smile and be happy your not in a worse position, and remember there is a glimmer of orange light at the end of the tunnel. Or atleast I hope to create that this afternoon
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:17 PM   #74 (permalink)
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Probably stress. I used to do the same to my SO. Until I realized that being negative about everything doesn't make anything better.

Smile and be happy your not in a worse position, and remember there is a glimmer of orange light at the end of the tunnel. Or atleast I hope to create that this afternoon
Oh I really, really hope that orange light comes soon!
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Old 11-15-2012, 03:16 PM   #75 (permalink)
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hjgrl ... a couple of things to consider, possibly... most states still have 2 year (community college) RN programs. you can't fast-track nursing, because there are a lot of clinical, lab and science requisites, and the actual nursing courses are sequential - but you CAN do it part-time, and paying for cc is easier. once you are an RN, finishing up a BSN, if you so choose, is often pretty easy because a lot of employers will pay or subsidize tuition.

another option is a "quickie" program - get an LVN/LPN certificate - I know a lot of post-post-grad RN's who began their careers as LVN/LPN's, and then let their employers pay for them to become RN's, then MSN's, and DScN's... and I also know a few who then went to law school to become legal nurse consultants, professors of medical/legal ethics, etc...
also, there have cropped up quite a number of careers which need paralegal/nurses to evaluate, analyze and interpret medical records, accident reports, etc... I did it for a little while on a freelance/contract basis, and found it fascinating.

you young'úns REALLY truly do need to find ways to get your educations - it will make a huge difference in both your lives and your self-worth!! hugs!!

(PS - kwhite - what if you did a craigslist or other ad and found some potential renters, and brought the names with you to the landlord?)
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