First off I just want to say you are all extremely wonderful and I knew I'd get the best, most honest advice here and I needed that.
You now i'm always a text/call/skype away
I'm in a somewhat similar boat with my hours cut, it's one day at a time and a lot of dober loving.
Take deep breaths and don't forget to still do things that make you happy, it's a lot harder to motivate yourself and move forward if there's no happiness in your life, no hopeful light at the end of the tunnel.
Hugs and dober kisses from mabel and me
I know thank you. You have plenty going on yourself which is why I haven't said much.
Diesel and I send love right back.
Why dont u use ur awesome photography skills and use that to make up a prsent for the so.
I understand time maybe the problem mind.. But something like that shows just as much as buying a new gift..
That way u have had abit of downtime with your photogrphy that u miss and have his prsent sorted.
Not that that is priority on your list of worries.. But i understand what your going thru.
My work have changed my hours from 42 to 15! Australia too is a bloody expensive place to live too, u seem to work just to pay rent. Sucks.
Im currently doing abit of this and that in my own time as im a hairdresser and beautician.. To earn some money..
I do hope everything works out for you. I wish thre was something to help you!
I have thought of making presents this year it just seems to be a lack of time. I know that he's mentioned how much he wants family pictures of us and Diesel so I'm looking for someone to take pictures of us since I can't haha
Thank you for the advice.
kwhite30, may I suggest you another work? I've seen a potential in you.
Your English is very clear and understandable. I like your writing style. Trust me because I worked at the English conversation school for some years (as a sale rep and office manager) and handled many resumes. Not all native speakers with degrees can be a good teacher. Actually I didn't hire a guy with Ph.D but high school diploma, who became the popular instructor eventually.
I'm not saying that you should come to Japan(lol) because I know you want to live with Diesel and that's fine. Nowadays many online language teaching services are offered: Via skype (for conversation) or writing. If you intend to work odd hours(due to time differences) from your home, I suggest you to include this type of work on your list.
I'm not sure I understand exactly what you are talking about? Is this an online thing that people do? Do you have to be certified? It doesn't sound like a bad idea. I love English. I've always excelled in it.
all I can say is "that should've been me" but it's not and I don't think it ever will be
You said you are 23. Give it some time. When you are 50, some of what you are learning about yourself now will be useful & will be (in the end) life changing. I busted my butt getting along in my 20s, and so did my dh & a bunch of our friends. Experiencing a crappy year (or more, or less) is part of growing up to be a responsible contributing adult for a lot of people.
It's good to vent & it's okay to have periods of disappointment - but you are (generally) sucking it up & dealing with life. Don't forget to pat yourself on the back when you do get through your day or when you have a good day, and sometimes take a little 'me' or 'us' time.
I know that I'll come out a better person for this I just would've preferred it to be spaced out haha I realize that I'm the only one who can make a change and I am doing my best to not let it get the best of me because that won't get me anywhere. You make a good point though about giving myself a pat on the back when I get through the day which I forget to do and it's important to do that.
Keep your chin up.
If I were you, I would downsize before things get even more ugly. Maybe have a yard sale to get rid of any unwanted clutter.
I'd move somewhere more affordable and focus on getting rid of your credit card debt. Credit cards can ruin people if not used correctly, and I do understand that sometimes you have no choice but to use it.
Your dog will live without a birthday gift, as will your family without christmas gifts. It's a shitty feeling, I know. But it's better for you than going even further in debt. You could always create a gift as well.
Saying that you will not succeed through College is not the right attitude. Have you tried? If you understand what it will take to be where you want to be...you have to suck it up and do it. basically.
All of these things you're feeling is from your depression and it's a tough thing to battle. I know because I've battled depression myself.
A yard sale is a good idea. I have some stuff that we really don't need or use. Nothing expensive really but it's a start.
Credit cards suck and I wish I never had gotten one but I wanted to start establishing credit which is now down the drain. Awesome.
The whole thing with the presents is my family will get mad. That's just how they are. They'll expect some lavish gift and if I don't get that, well then I get a lecture about how I don't care about my family. Fun times.
I went to college for 2 years and failed most of it. I'll admit though it was not the right time for me. I wasn't motivated at all and didn't give a rats ass pretty much. I attempted to go back last fall and couldn't due to financial problems and not being able to get financial aid. I was crushed and I haven't tried to go back since.
I try my best not to let my depression get the best of me and some days are better then others, last night being one of the not so great days. I felt defeated and had to make some difficult decisions. I have to remember to take one day at a time and stop panicking about what will happen tomorrow.
I have no advice but just wanted to send you a cyber hug.
Life doesn't always go to plan.
Take my hubby's plans. Work till 55, retire, work the farm beside me, travel around Europe a bit then settle down to grow old disgracefully. Bang, lifes plans went up in smoke when a rocket exploded in the room next to him and he inhaled toxic gases resulting in brain damage, severe lung damage to name 2 of his problems. Life was suddenly turned upside down, inside out, what little savings we had to our name disappeared along with 99% of our friends. Yeah I know it isn't much fun visiting with someone who is suffering from severe clinical depression, PTSD, health issues, but hey, you miserable sons of you know whats, at such times like these he really needs his friends. Granted he isn't as bad off as some and fact is he still has us, his immediate family, our sons, yours truly, but friends are important too. Unfortunately it is easier to make excuses and leave him behind as they go on with having fun because nowadays hubby isn't the life and soul of the party as he once was. Instead he is quiet, withdrawn, unsure, no longer do they visit us, invite us to barbecues, to go out.
Money is mega tight. We struggle to make ends meet, once we were very, very comfortable, now, the old song, 'money's too tight too mention' jumps into my head and won't budge no matter what I do.
But you know what. I say 'SOD IT!' as long as I can bitch and rant everynow and again, come onto this forum, chat to folk who whilst thousands of miles away have more compassion than folk just the other side of the valley I know lifes dark clouds sometimes do have silver linings.
So girlfriend, rant away, shout, scream, punch the sofa, (not the dog, LOL) and let it out.
My advice, stop, take stock of what is important, work out where you want to be in 6 months, 12 months, 3 years, 5 years time and look at what it is you have to do get there.
I do not know where it is you live, one end of America is much the same to me as the other and I freely admit I know nothing about the economic situation you guys are going through. But from what you have said it sounds like you need to find somewhere a tad more affordable to live so that you can start down that road that leads to where you want to be in x amount of time. If your skills are transferrable to another region and SO's are too then I would seriously look into getting the hell out of 'Dodge' first and foremost and then see where things take you.
As for not being able to afford pressies, the folk that matter will understand, if you can, why not make something, I used to make toffee, chocie truffles etc for friends and family so I had something to give them. As for those folk (like my MIL used too) who would turn their nose up at your thoughtfulness, they truly are not worth bothering with.
In the meantime you have got friends on this site who really do understand. You are not alone.
oh Toby you always have some of the best advice.
I'm sorry about your husband
I think I knew part of that and all I can say is you're an amazing person for having gone through all of that. I have lost a lot of my friends as well because I can no longer afford to go out all the time or buy nice things and where I live, if you're not rich, then you don't exist to most people. People are very stuck up around here living in their huge mansion's with their 10 cars that they never drive. It's ridiculous.
We had attempted to move to NC a few months ago and it just turned out to be too expensive. I had looked at apartments, talked to our landlord, looked for jobs, the whole nine yards. Then I sat down and did the math and we needed more money then we pay in rent now to move. I'm still torn about whether that was the right choice or not because it's much cheaper to live down there.
I explained the whole presents thing a few comment sup but I'll say it again. My family life is different and if there's no presents then no one is happy. Except for my grandparents. Just seeing me is enough for them
I know that my mom had mentioned wanting to frame some of the pictures I took for her house so maybe she'll accept that as a gift. I guess we'll find out!
Thank you for your great advice. I really appreciate it.
I second all the comments above.
Alot of people round here are struggling, we have struggled and will do again I don't doubt, it sucks big time, the whole economic system is wrong no-one should have to struggle while a choice few bask in luxury. That's another topic entirely.
Forge ahead, it's all you can do and if it's really bad it can only get better.
There's got to be a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere right?
I'm so sorry you are going through this! Good jobs are hard to find. I wish I had a better job....2 degrees and I'm still doing manual labor....and I am happy to have the work!
Now for the tough love part......
I understand things are tight and again I'm sorry but if this is the worst thing you go through in your life....you will be very lucky! You have no clue how bad things can get before you hit your "breaking point." Thank god I have no clue how bad that can be! Take a deep breath......just work through it or move to a more reasonable priced area where you can find a job! Finish college.....but get a degree in something useful! I can not express this enough! Get a degree in something you can get a job in!
Again good luck!
I completely agree that if this is the worst it gets for me then I am truly lucky. I constantly remind myself of that. What gets me is the lack of support and not even that more of the lack of being able to talk to someone and get it off my chest. At the end of the day that's all I really need. I learned from a very young age to not expect anyone to back you up or be there at the end of the day but sometimes I need just one person to listen. It just happens to be that people who live thousands of miles away from me are the best listeners