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Old 12-23-2012, 04:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Showing/feeling the love!

Increasingly I am becoming envious of some of you guys.

Why?

Well Toby is going through a stage (I hope it is a stage) where he doesnt give me cuddles anymore.

Once upon a time he would try to get on my knee, he would stay at my side all day and all night long. He craved to be touched, to be cossetted.

But no longer.

Nowadays he often takes himself off to sleep on my bed when we are all sitting in the living room, (we live in a one storey house).
Now fact is I will gladly share my 2 seater sofa with him on an evening but the thing is, whereas before we kind of moulded around each other, now he pushes and shoves till I am just perched on the edge. Which as you can imagine is just not comfortable. So I ask him to let me have a bit of room and off he huffs to the bedroom as if I have just thrown him out into the snow.
He used to give me lots of kisses, but now if I bend down to him he turns his head away and point blank refuses to give me a kiss no matter what I do. Okay, a dog doesnt have to do this, but from giving me kisses, to not, well I am starting to feel a little unloved. Russell gives me kisses all the time and he is a grumpy old so and so, not a Velcro dog as my Dobe is supposed to be.
In the morning he comes down the corridor to my bedroom door, knocks and is let in and up on the bed for a morning cuddle, but this actually consists of him just giving himself a good wash, (usually his privates), followed by him going to sleep. Yes it is a deep sleep, nothing wakes him, not unless I get out of bed, so he obviously feels safe there, but I would like a little bit of a cuddle and if that isn't going to happen a bit of acknowledgement it is my bed he is on, not his, because he tries to shove me away with his big paws and sometimes he hurts.
When he first sees me in the morning he wags his little nub, he stretches a lot and sort of licks his teeth whilst snapping them shut, but no sneaky kiss on the hand and certainly no allowing mum to give him a quick cuddle. Oh no! That is just so not happening.
When it comes to be stroked it is on his terms, he always presents his bottom towards me, rarely do I get to talk to his head. When I touch his flanks he rakes his teeth along my hand. (my vet has concluded he is ticklish as there is nothing wrong with his hips etc).
When we are out, if I am alone with him he stays close, if I am with my friend and her dogs I don't see him for dust and I truly think he doesn't give a fig about me.
When I am on the computer he does put his head in front of the screen or on top of the keyboard, but there is no affection behind the action. He wants me to touch him then looks so bloody miserable that I am doing so I stop and then he really gets insistent he wants touching. However, if I put the computer aside, he walks off. He isn't interested in me anymore.

Toby isn't showing the love and I am definitely not feeling it.

Last edited by Toby'shuman; 12-23-2012 at 04:43 AM..
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Ah dog gone it, that meany. I don't know what to say. I'm sure he still loves you, but maybe it's just a stage/age thing. Some animals or just individuals just have an independent nature. Try ignoring him for a while see if that does anything. We all still love, though! Have a great Holiday and love on that JT til Toby starts wondering if mom likes him best!
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Old 12-23-2012, 09:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I get dobernose poked on a regular basis - but Chanel doesn't physically cuddle. Sometimes she'll lie between my legs if I let her on the couch, but she's stiff & uncomfortable & moves away if she gets hugged/restrained. (I don't know if something happened before I got her or whether she's just uncomfortable.)

I wonder if you are in a vicious circle - the more you want hugs, the more he pulls away? If so - the previous suggestion of ignoring him for a while might help.

(Also - isn't he just at the age when there might be some behavior changes because of maturity? He isn't really a puppy anymore.)
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Oh, Toby's Mom, you made me laugh.

It reminded me of my girlfriend complaining about her Quarterhorse. She gives him the world, but there is no way in hell he will show her affection.
He is an awesome horse but just not affectionate.
My friend is so jealous that my Quarterhorse licks me constantly, cuddles, and even lets me lye down with him.

I think Toby is just going through a faze.
Dobermans are such smart little buggers.
He'll come back around, and then you'll be saying, go away, you are driving me nuts!
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Don't feel too bad, some dogs just aren't big cuddlers. My Tango doesn't snuggle much! He will lay with me for a short period and then jump up like his pants are on fire.... and he usually hurts me in the process. So we don't snuggle very often. LOL My two other boys are very good snugglers.
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:26 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I wouldn't take it personally. I agree that some dogs just aren't snuggly. My hound isn't. He often wanders into a different room to sleep or sleeps in the corner of the same room I am in. He's even been known to get off the bed if I get on it.

What I've done is found activities he likes to do together. He loves to "work" so the minute I give any other dog the command to "sit" he comes running from wherever he is tail wagging ready to go.

Maybe you can find an activity that Toby likes and he's excited about doing so you two can have bonding times that you both like. Teaching him tricks or something.......

If all else fails how about trading cuddles for snacks
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Old 12-23-2012, 10:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I guess they're at one end of the spectrum or the other.. my boy tries to cuddle ON TOP of me.. which is uncomfortable to say the least.. he's heavy!
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Old 12-23-2012, 11:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Maybe you could take a doggie massage class together or something, so he starts associating being touched all over with something that he WANTS.
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Old 12-23-2012, 12:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Awwwww I love how cuddly Toorc is but.... He still isn't mindful of his massive paws and whole body pretty much. I love when he cuddles but I usually get bruised up in the process lol


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