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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:09 PM Thread Starter
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Lesson to be learned for all please read!

So as you know I lost my dobie to hurricane Sandy not long ago when he drowned in a river....

Today I felt like I had to live it all over again, my husband told me that night we lost him that he accidently got out that night which I found out today that he let him out without a leash...supposedly he did this more than once but never when I was around since he knows I am absolutely against this!!!

When he told me this, I felt like I got punched in the face and then I felt like I wanted to punch him... He cried and I cried and I left for hours went by where he was found and cried their too...I know my husband didn't want Zeus to die, but this could have been avoided!!! Anyways please let this be a lesson to all of you reading NEVER EVER let your dog out without a leash....we didn't even live close to this river so don't ever take a chance. My husband has been living with this guilt and so will I now...
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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:13 PM
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OH my heart breaks for you again. I am so so sorry to hear this. Please forgive your husband as I'm sure he will forever live with this tragedy. I pray that you find peace.
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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you. I am having hard time accepting that he did this but I do forgive him. I just wanted to share my story hoping it can make a difference to people who may let their dogs out without leashes.
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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:19 PM
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I kind of want to punch him too I wish that he hadn't had to learn the hard way, and that Zeus hadn't paid for it in this manner.

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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:20 PM Thread Starter
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I kind of want to punch him too I wish that he hadn't had to learn the hard way, and that Zeus hadn't paid for it in this manner.
Agreed!! I am pretty sure he learned his lesson..
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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:39 PM
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To have to live it all over is heartbreaking. I would be so angry and actually am for you. I send positive thoughts that both you and your husband can heal quickly and that others do learn from this horrible time in your life. I'm sorry again about your loss of Zeus.

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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:46 PM
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I am so sorry. I'm sorry for Zeus and I'm sorry for both of you for having to live with the guilt and pain that comes from something so preventable.

(((HUGS)))




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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 09:54 PM
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We ache for you. I know I would be beyond angry. Just please be sure if you say you forgive your husband that you don't let this come up later, in anger. Get it out of your system now, and move on. Your Doberbabe would want that. Our sincerest condolences.


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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 10:06 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by lolonurse View Post
We ache for you. I know I would be beyond angry. Just please be sure if you say you forgive your husband that you don't let this come up later, in anger. Get it out of your system now, and move on. Your Doberbabe would want that. Our sincerest condolences.

You're right I will have to not let it come up later in anger which will be hard to do, he told me he opened the door because of a noise which I heard too but I went to the back of the house to change my daughter's diaper and I come back in the living room and he is gone...It happened so fast.
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 10:24 PM
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At least it is out in the open, so he can start to deal with his guilt, and you with your anger. In the end, it was just a horrible accident.

Both of you are sharing the same thing, and that is the loss of your boy. Both of you must forgive.
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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 10:27 PM
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I am so sorry to hear this I'm sure that he, too, feels punched in the face, and probably hurts more for you than he can express. I'm really sorry for your loss. Just try not to hold it against him if you can - I know he didn't intend for this to happen, and had to learn a hard lesson for his mistake.

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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 10:33 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by zorianak View Post
I am so sorry to hear this I'm sure that he, too, feels punched in the face, and probably hurts more for you than he can express. I'm really sorry for your loss. Just try not to hold it against him if you can - I know he didn't intend for this to happen, and had to learn a hard lesson for his mistake.
^^I need to go by this-THANK YOU
I feel like putting so much blame on him.
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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 11:31 PM
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I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how both of you are feeling. Thank you for sharing this with us and hopefully teaching someone else a lesson that they will hopefully avoid themselves as a result. Hang in there.

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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-11-2012, 11:39 PM
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So sorry for your loss. Forgiveness can bring healing and your Zeus would want that too.

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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 12:09 AM
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I'm so so sorry for your loss. I understand how much you were upset against your husband. He'll live with his guilt...

Not exact but similar things happened I heard, when the Great East Japan Earthquake and over 10 meters Tsunami hit here. Some coastal residents tried to let their dogs go to survive from drowning in that case. Some couldn't make it and the drowning owners had no chocie to look at the horrible scene... They suffer from PTSD.

Your post is valuable. Thank you.

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post #16 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 02:32 PM
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I am so very sorry for this. I had a similar situation last year actually. My husband, he wasn't my husband at the time, had a gsd and he left the house and didn't make sure everybody was where they were supposed to be. He didn't crate his gsd, didn't even gate him off in a room and I came home on my lunch hour and the gsd had killed my cat. It isn't a scene I will ever forget and my husband of course felt horrible and was to blame.

The hardest part for me was forgiving him and trying not to bring it up. But if I am brutally honest with myself, I never forgave that dog. I didn't like the dog before he killed the cat and I never could stand him as long as he was with us. I was never abusive to him, I just limited my interaction with him. Maybe I'm a horrible person for that but that's just the way it was for me.

My heart just breaks for you.

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post #17 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 03:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LCalvert View Post
So as you know I lost my dobie to hurricane Sandy not long ago when he drowned in a river....

Actually you lost your dog because of your irresponsible husband. I know you're feeling horrible right now but the person responsible is your husband. Not the storm.....not the river.....only your husband. And this isn't the only time he's done this.


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My husband has been living with this guilt and so will I now...
At least he's alive to experience the guilt. The poor dog isn't. And if were me, I'd be living in a separate place far away from where the irresponsible husband and his guilt were living.
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post #18 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 03:42 PM
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Actually you lost your dog because of your irresponsible husband. I know you're feeling horrible right now but the person responsible is your husband. Not the storm.....not the river.....only your husband. And this isn't the only time he's done this.


At least he's alive to experience the guilt. The poor dog isn't. And if were me, I'd be living in a separate place far away from where the irresponsible husband and his guilt were living.
Her husband made a terrible mistake it could've happened to anyone. Stop adding fuel to the flame this poor woman is going through enough and she doesn't need comments from you saying how horrible he is, she just needs our support not fingerpointing.


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post #19 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 03:53 PM
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Her husband made a terrible mistake it could've happened to anyone. Stop adding fuel to the flame this poor woman is going through enough and she doesn't need comments from you saying how horrible he is, she just needs our support not fingerpointing.


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Her husband deliberately on more than one occasion per OP opened the door and let the dog run loose. Common sense would say it was only a matter of time before the dog was whether hurt or killed. And to make it even worse let the dog loose in the midst of the storm of the century. These were not "accidents". These were repeated, deliberate acts committed by an adult. As to it could have happened to anyone.....would you have put your dog out in a storm like that??

Bottom line the dog is dead. And the ONLY reason the dog is dead is because of a man who for whatever reason (laziness, no common sense, etc.) put this dog out in a horrible hurricane.

I'll save my sympathies for the dog. He is the one true victim here and deserving of my sympathy. The husband needs a foot up his a$$.
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post #20 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 04:02 PM
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Im so sorry, again to hear this. It has to be so difficult for you both, I really feel your pain of loosing Zeus and it is something your partner is going to have to live with.

A few months back my other half was out walking Rupert on his own offlead when Rupert ran off after some deer in the woods and didnt come back. He was gone for about 20 minutes before my OH called me to say he was gone, and he was gone for a further 2 odd hours before he was eventually found after enlisting the help of other dog walkers and family to help look. While he was gone I cried solidly, with all the thoughts of the worst going through my head; could he have been hit by a car, stolen, hurt by another dog ect ect and I was so angry with my OH, and with myself aswell. Carelessness could have cost us all dearly.

What i'm trying to say is, I dont think there are many people who can say they have never made a mistake which could have ended badly. Most of us are just lucky enough to learn these kind of lessons without having to pay such a terrible price.



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post #21 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-12-2012, 07:51 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VZ-Doberman View Post
Actually you lost your dog because of your irresponsible husband. I know you're feeling horrible right now but the person responsible is your husband. Not the storm.....not the river.....only your husband. And this isn't the only time he's done this.




At least he's alive to experience the guilt. The poor dog isn't. And if were me, I'd be living in a separate place far away from where the irresponsible husband and his guilt were living.
I definitely felt this way at first, I was very angry at him as it could have been avoided because of his irresponsible action but, I can't dwell on things that can't be changed now it won't bring my Zeus back. I am glad he was able to finally admit what happened, I would have never known actually so I'm grateful to know the truth. I am sure it won't ever happen again and hope my story can teach others.
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post #22 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 01:34 AM
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Howdy,

I'm sorry for your loss. I wish there were more that I could say; I hope that in time you and your family find peace and the love of a new canine companion.
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post #23 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 05:18 AM
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Sorry for Zeus!

Ive missed the initial story so i might be well uniformed but did he let the dog outside into a unfenced garden or something?

you said "he let him out" but where? out to roam free on the roads?

Not trying to fuel anything but while i remain uniformed this looks like a massive amount of deceit to let the dog out on any occasion knowing that you didnt want him off leash, aswell as intentionally doing it when you were not around. Personally logic should have prevailed in the middle of a megastorm... if the sun was shining and it was lovely weather it would still have been deceit but in a storm i cant find a valid excuse for such a poor decision. Sorry to have to say that but i cant really assess it any other way, i do hope that you can move on from it but more than anything i hope HE has learnt to care about how his actions may effect you, it couldnt have had a worse outcome on this occasion but on another day he could have got away with it and carried on letting him out when you werent around
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post #24 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 09:34 AM
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Once again I am so sorry you have lost your boy Zeus.

Oh my, what a silly, silly man your husband was, I can only hope he has learnt by this tragedy, unfortunately some folk do not.

My MIL had a succession of dogs all of whom she let out to roam the streets because the idle so and so couldnt be arsed to walk them. Each and every one got run over, but for some reason she didnt learn anything from their deaths. I can only hope your husband has learnt from what happened and will never repeat it again.

Thank you for sharing this painful episode with us, it took courage to do so.
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post #25 of 26 (permalink) Old 11-20-2012, 10:04 AM
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when I first read your story my heart went out to you. I am sorry that you had to experience this tragedy over again however the truth is out. Your husband has to live with his actions. I hope that you and your husband can find a place together. I did send your thread to my husband as he too has let Roxy out the front door without a leash. He too felt that she is so great on recall what could happen. When I found out he most surely was wearing my foot print on his a$$. I can only pray that I will never experience your pain.
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