Canine jokes~tell us your favorite!

bluizk · 06-27-2008, 07:12 AM

How many dogs does it take to......
These are the answers from dogs when asked "How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!
Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .
Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

cookie725 · 06-27-2008, 07:36 AM

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working, so she called a Repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"

When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking doberman he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't stand it any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Spike!

bluizk · 06-27-2008, 07:56 AM

Thanks cookie725! LOL!!

**2gooddobes** · 06-27-2008, 02:16 PM

Q) What's black and tan and looks good on a Lawyer?

A) A Doberman.

bluizk · 06-27-2008, 03:25 PM

bluizk · 06-27-2008, 03:31 PM

bluizk · 06-27-2008, 03:39 PM

gracieface · 06-27-2008, 03:41 PM

have always loved the one with the repairman and the parrot, cracked me up the first time someone sent it to me, then made me think of the breeder I bought Grace from as she has parrots in her kennel area.